Aw Shit

Damn...My computer got infected with spyware, had to reformat, wasn't prepared for the reprecussions of my actions...and now everything in my documents, my music, and my pictures got deleted...among the biggest loses are my 10 albums or so i recently downloded but didn't have on my external, all the pictures i had of my friends/random pictures, and all my documents including my senior project paper/ the senior project itself...I'm sure in time i will realize even more stuff i have lost...but as for now those are my top concerns...Like with all software/data though this is replaceable, though it seems like a tragic loss it will take me no more then 24 hours to fix...soon i will have my paper re-typed, the rough draft of my project re-created, the pictures re-taken/ tooken from websites, and the music re-downloaded if need be, but still, an inconvience none the less, -nathan-
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Women, Wits, and Work

Oh boy...Yup i am pretty much tired of being a loser, Alot of stuff has happended recently...so many conversations and heart to hearts...I have realized in this world there are two very important things Time and Money, and lately i have had nothing but time on my hands, time that i have been trying to fill anyway possible, and basically well, i am starting to lose my nerve, i kinda had a breakdown recently where i was pretty sure i was going insane, and it made me realize, if people don't particularly seem to be taking advantage of all the free time i have, why the hell am i sitting here with all this free time, i have decided instead i am going to kick my life up a nothch, Lakeside called, Kris wants me to rake leaves with him at 8 dollars an hour cash, soon i will start praticing with my moms van to get my license and then i am fixing the guzzler. I had a long heart to heart with my Father about girls and relationships and all sorts of issues with trying to deal with high school social structure, lol and well frankly...if things don't work out with being friends with girls or whoever for that matter while it is conveint for me time was, i am kinda hoping it might when time isn't convient for me, but frankly i don't care, i am going to be making 8 dollars and hour cash and driving, anyone want to join me, i have deciced to stop living life on the side of the road with the caution lights on and i am entering the fast lane, with a middle finger to the wind!!! wooh, no more loserness, -nathan-
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This Song Is The Cross That I Bear

When I was born, they looked at me and said, ’what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.’ And when you were born, they looked at you and said, ’what a good girl, what a what a smart girl, what a pretty girl.’ We’ve got these chains that hang around our necks People want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath. Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same, When temptation calls, we just look away. Chorus This name is the hairshirt I wear And this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair. This song is the cross that I bear, Bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me, be with me tonight, I know that it isn’t right, but be with me tonight. I go to school, I write exams, If I pass, if I fail, if I drop out, Does anyone give a damn? And if they do, they’ll soon forget ’cause it won’t take much for me To show my life ain’t over yet. I wake up scared, I wake up strange. I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change. I wake up scared, I wake up strange And everything around me stays the same. Chorus I couldn’t tell you that I was wrong, Chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song. I couldn’t tell you that you were right, So instead I looked in the mirror, Watched tv, laid away all night. We’ve got these chains, hang ’round our necks, People want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath. Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same when temptation calls ... Chorus When I was born, they looked at me and said; ’what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.’ And when you were born, they looked at you and said; ’what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey’
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To The Half-Mad Poet...

Nathan’s Beliefs, Maybe? A. Well first off I believe an important part of every person is to have a good sense of self. One only gets the time in their mortal body to be all that they have ever dreamed to be so to live in uncertainty is to waste away. B. I believe that everyone should try their best to accomplish their goals that they set out to do no matter how far off they seem. Goals are designed to be a universal schedule of your life, not a what-if list. C. I believe that people should do all that they can to better themselves in this world as long as they don’t directly infringe on the rights of others signified by United States Law. Yet, I believe that the confines of one’s own mind is their domain and in no circumstance should that ever be brought into question, because our mind is all we have in this world and is in a sense all that we are, and that is something that no one has the right to censor. D. I believe that people should ask why. I think it is important to understand the world around us. To ponder, To question, To imply, these things are what make us not all the same. E. I believe that Love and Lust are as follows. Lust is “love at first sight”, is when someone appears in slow motion and you catch their eye only momentarily, is when your heart seems to beat and your words become slurred no matter how many times this scene played through your head, is the embodiment of all High School Relationships and all Relationships before marriage or a marriage like unity. Love is simply choosing to remain with your partner after the blissful yet blinding views of Lust subside. F. I believe that religion is a like a giant blanket of security that some people use to avoid Letter “D”. Though I understand that one’s views are important and no one should try to place those above others, these are indeed My Views. So just as I would not expect someone religious to convert upon my words I will not tell lies of my own views. G. I believe that all people are naturally good. I think where people fell in life and the things they have been through but most importantly they way the coped with it mentally is the factor that determines the way people end up. The world we live in is not perfect, in some ways far from it, there-for in some ways people are far from perfect. What makes someone wrong is when they remain imperfect despite knowledge of it. (of coarse varying in degrees of seriousness). H. I believe that America is not lost. I believe patriotism is an important thing to have and when the founding fathers collaborated that propaganda was not their intent when they made it a Core Democratic Value. This is still the greatest country in the world to live in and I see nothing wrong in having respect for ones own nation. I find it incredibly offensive to talk during the national anthem, and unjustifiable to utter a word during a moment of silence. I. I Believe friendship is key to life. I think it is a very important part of growing up and growing old. I think the aspect of growth, trust, companionship, and joy are all something that everyone should get to experience, even if they never are involved in a relationship. J. I Believe that Trust is an important factor to life. To trust someone is to place them on the same level as you, and to see them as an equal. Trust accompanies more Trust and there-for is essential to the building and bonding process between two humans. K. I believe that Society is a harsh and bitter mistress. I think that in the eyes of the public nearly nothing is good enough. I believe rather then be used as a guideline it should just be used as an institution, like for voting. L. I think that Happiness is something everyone deserves and should not be without. Just as the Pursuit Of Happiness is a Core Democratic Value I also see it as a very important part of everyone’s life. To be happy it to be content and there isn’t much better then being content. M. I believe in Capitalism. N. I believe…As my One Grand Answer, that The Meaning Of Life Is To Affect All Of Those Around You And Accomplish Your Goals. I believe that people are on this world to be affected. No one is a stone statue, no one truly goes through life and never considers the thoughts that exist outside the realm of his own mind. Just as no one goes through this world and does not cause someone to change their perspective, actions, or maybe even life just with their words that otherwise they may have thought meant nothing. Also I believe that everyone should do everything they can to accomplish their goals, and be happy, whether it involves being in love or lust, having a religion, being patriotic, asking why, being Capitalist, or just having a good Sense Of Self. -nathan-
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Carla's thing

Step 1: Open up whatever MP3 program you use and add every song in your collection. Step 2: Put it on random. Step 3: Post the first line from the first 15 songs that play, no matter how embarassing the song. Step 4: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from. Step 5: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly. Step 6: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING! 1. On a scale of 1 - 10 2. *instrumental* 3. Sunspots, cast up there in my eyes? 4. Hey what’s poppin now? 5. Die, I got your money I promise? 6. Yo, I’m in the middle of jiggling, in the summer of 69? 7. Alcholoic, kinda mood, lose my clothes, crusining for a piece of fun? 8. She’s driving away, with the dim lights on 9. brainstorm, are you waiting from the north I got to tell you something, so I put it in a song? 10. When you refuse me, you confuse me 11. Wait, how long would you wait, just for me to call 12. You are alone, no one will ever have a drink…? 13. She likes to shoot and run, shooting at a target of love? 14. I the king of the error, no will ever really care? 15. Woah, thought he was a nightmare, going on so true, they told me not to go walking so slow, the devils on the loose. Good luck
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My Favorite Show

Each half-hour episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm features verité-style footage of David (playing himself) at home, at work and around town, as he gets into predicaments with fictional and real-life personalities. With cast regulars Jeff Garlin (as manager Jeff Greene) and Cheryl Hines (as wife Cheryl) reprising their roles, the series features appearances by guest celebrities playing themselves or character roles. Candid, unsparing and self-deprecating, Curb Your Enthusiasm brings the off-kilter comic vision of Larry David--co-creator and co-executive producer of one of the most lauded comedy series in TV history, Seinfeld--to HBO. The series blurs the lines between reality and fiction, as David (playing himself) and a cast of real and fictional characters are followed around Los Angeles by a ubiquitous camera that chronicles the private, often banal world of a (relatively) public man. Having evolved from the 1999 HBO special Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm, this series proves how seemingly trivial details of one's day-to-day life--a trip to the movies, a phone call, a visit from some trick-or-treaters--can precipitate a "Murphy's Law" chain of misfortune to hilarious effect. Like George Costanza in Seinfeld, the protagonist of Curb Your Enthusiasm has a knack for getting himself into uncomfortable situations that end up alienating him from peers and acquaintances. To keep the narrative fresh and spontaneous, Curb Your Enthusiasm is shot without a script; the cast is given scene outlines and often improvise lines as they go. The result is an unpredictable format that's unlike anything else on TV.
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My Wallet

Lately i have been thinking the thought of, what do i hate more then anything else in this world, as i realize that is spending money. Nothing pains me more then having to spend money...That is why i never go to the movies, the games, the dances, or out to eat. Also, this is why it would really suck if i had a girlfriend, lol. But anyway, in doing so it made me wonder, what do i really really like? and i realized i really really like my wallet. Anything and everything that a man would need to have on him and access from simply reaching into his back pocket can be incorporated into a wallet. Plus a wallet is the only thing that can really appreciate money in it's raw form. There is something sacred between a man and his wallet...Now i really like my computer also, but i can leave home without my computer, and someday my computer might break or i may stop using one, but with a wallet my fellow men, from the day you get one till the day you die, you will have a wallet. At least i hope so, Farwell and i hope your pockets enjoy the company... -nathan-
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Get The Girl Complex

To Jerk Or Not To Jerk... Has anyone ever noticed that sterotypically in a love story there is always the antagonist, a big jerk with little respect for the opposite gender, and the protagonist, a love struck nerdy guy whose intentions are pure. Now if we look at this closely we realize that the jerk, if you will, has had relations with women in the past, in most all these scenarios and yet the kind nerdy guy has not. Also you may notice that they both usually come to like the same girl, The Girl as it would seem. Now in the end the nice, kind guy always "gets the girl" but is that really the end? For it seems that the jerk in this situation will contiue to have sex with women, but the nerdy guy, well he is married, and let's look at the statistics from... http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html "PROJECTION/PREDICTION. This is the Census Bureau's often-cited "50%" rate, the proportion of marriages taking place right now that will eventually divorce, which has since been revised downward to roughly 43% by the National Center for Health Statistics but was moved back up to around 50% by the Census Bureau in 2002, with even more ifs ands and buts than usual. Most recently, according to the New York Times, it has been revised downward to just over 40%." Just over 40%...that means there is a pretty good chance that his marriage will end in Divorce...but not immediatly, he will have remained loyal and lost the prime years of his life...but why the divorce? If you look at these statistics from.... http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats26.htm. It is clear the adultry is the number one cause of divorces... What is the number one reason you and your wife split up? ▪ She was unfaithful 22% ▪ We grew apart 21% ▪ We fell out of love 16% ▪ We argued constantly 13% ▪ No longer sexually attracted 5% ▪ I was unfaithful 3% ▪ Other 20% But i ask you this...would she be having an affair with the nerdy guy who settled down, "got the girl" and remained faithful until his divorce...or with the jerk that contiued to have sex afterwards...who really gets the girl?
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Let's Start Over

Sometimes I wish I was brave I wish I was stronger I wish I could feel no pain I wish I was young I wish I would try I wish I was honest I wish I was you not I 'Cause I feel so mad I feel so angry I feel so careless So lost, confused, just mad I feel so cheap So used, unfaithful Let's start over Let's start over Sometimes I wish I was smart I wish I made cures for How people are I wish I had power I wish I could lead I wish I could change the world For you and me 'Cause I feel so mad I feel so angry I feel so careless So lost, confused, just mad I feel so cheap So used, unfaithful Let's start over Let's start over 'Cause I feel so mad I feel so angry I feel so careless So lost, confused, just mad I feel so cheap So used, unfaithful Let's start over Let's start over I feel so mad I feel so angry I feel so careless So lost, confused, just mad I feel so cheap So used, unfaithful Let's start over Let's start over
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good day, good sir

{people applauding} {classical music in background} Ah such sweet sound The fiddler on the fucking roof Is that Mr. Bentley Farnsworth? Indeed it is, sir. Good day, good sir. How do you do? Look fine! Fantasically well, I am certainly not Fine by far, but you could say I'm close to Spectacular. Close to Spectacular? How so? Open your eyes Spectacular's right in front of you! Whatever you say. You're Spectacular. No, I'm Fantasically Well. Come on, man, make up your mind. A minute ago you said you were Fine. No, I said I'm close to Spectacular but I'm meeting Fine in a minute. Close to Spectacular? You said you were Fantasically Well! Exactly! Exactly? Which one are you? Close to spectacular or Fantasically Well? I am certainly and without a doubt Fantasically Well, and was close to Spectacular, but I must say, Good Sir, you just pissed Spectacular off (people in background:"oooooh!") and don't even mention exactly. But here comes Fine right now... {sound of heels clicking on floor} Oh Lord, she IS Fine... Gentlemen? Behold (both)A Lady
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In Theory

Well, Adrian sent me the scholarship i had a feeling they was gonna send me, $5,000/year for four years, which is good news and all but... I have been alot of online research...like alot...and there are some stuff i found out about Adrian that are less then appealing... 1.) it is a united methodist privet college 2.) 84% of the appilcants get accepted 3.) 55% applicants have a 3.0 or higher, 45% have a 2.0-2.99 4.) it is 3 hours and 30 minutes from here 5.) the tuiton cost is $18,630 6.) the required ACT score is 17-24 considering the above information i have deduced that it is the kind of college someone rich sends there kid because you don't need to be terribly smart to get it but you do need money... Upon further research i found a significantly more desirably option, Michigan State University because 1.) it is a public nondemoninational school 2.) 79% of applicants get accepted 3.) 96% of the applicants have a 3.0 or higher, 4% have a 2.00-2.99 4.) it is 2 hours, 20 minutes from here 5.) the tuiton cost is $6,999 6.) the required ACT score is 22-29 7.) it is also a law school Also, in regards to the name of my entry, considering a four year degree is required to become a lawyer anyway, looking at MSU's major options, i have decided i am going to get my degree in Philosphy, it has always been a very large interest of mine, as i know my friends aswell, probably one of the key reasons we all are friends, -nathan-
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I think thoughts that i know are bad

GUTTERMOUTH lyrics "GUTTERMOUTH I'm Destroying The World lyrics" hey mark its fourth and goal why don't you get your dad a beer and do us all a favor get your punk ass out of here dear i think our son's retarded he likes to read not watch tv mark never plays no football with the kids across the street hey mom hey dad yeah sports are great if you like touching other men but when we touch each other off the field well this becomes a sin so i understand you think i'm slow but i don't want to be like you because of you and mommy its what i was born to do hey hey i'm destroying the world i don't really give a shit cuz it feels so god damn cool i'm destroying the world i don't really give a shit no sorry son we understand that you just don't fit in so i filled your mom's prescription you'll be one of us again hey i don't give a shit bout what you think you made me just who i am i'm taking up the banjo to execute my evil plan then lets go
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So Wright

Everything is great. I feel so fullfilled. Today was a landmark among days for me, i know now that my destiny is to become a lawyer. My interest in law is uncanny, i have been playing Phoenix Wright for hours, this game is so compelling and involving, i care not what anyone else thinks of it, this is my all time favorite game. We are starting the mock trials in business law soon. I am the defensive attorney, just like Phoenix Wright is. Mr. Perialas told me he thinks i will make an excellent lawyer. Adrian college offers me a 4 year $5,000 school scholorship, and financial plans, and the have waived the application fee, i plan on gathering all the nessariry information soon and finishing my application for the fall of 2006. I see images of my potential future all the time, i see scenes of me, in a suit, with a breif case, in a court room, with a client, if this is not my destiny i i have no idea what is, but i intend to become a lawyer, and i will not stop untill i do, -nathan-
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Hanging Out Like Double D's

Let's see, wake up, you notice that your room has gotten slightly colder, the kitchen is riddled with all sorts of foods prepared for cooking, your dad tells you to get a shovel, you step outside...Snow is pilled up really high and you see your dad spinning tires like a mofo as he attemtps to back out the driveway, he yells out the window for you to shovel the driveway also so he can get back in, in the background all you can hear is the sound of sirens from police cars, firetrucks, and ambulence, you see your dog running around in the foot deep snow as you futiley try to dive for her a couple times, then you proceed to shovel the back porch and take some trash out to the garage. You step back inside and your glasses fog up and then you go back into your room and contiue your day, just another thanksgiving in Northern Michigan
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Awh Sweet

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, today was a fun filled day of fun...Well...first off i have a big test in business law, chapters 7-12 that isn't going to be very fun, exepcially cause i lost a good majority of my notes... Next on the agenda, lifeskills has gone beyond the conceievable point of gay... 1.) Mrs. Petrosky at the last minute made up a rule saying that our perfectly legal system of transactions to Nathaniel, and then in turn, his transation to the investing team for their, emb bank account thing that doubles the highest amoust of money, *which was ours* saying that we can no longer do that...for no apparant good reason... 2.) we got yelled at like hardcore at by the boss team (supposedly Mrs. Petrosky's doing) and it was really gay and a big cuss off and it should'nt have happended because all that happended is eveyrone got pissed exepcially Ed, then me and Ed hung out after school in the library for a little while trying to help him decide the best way to invest money into his computer. Then we went to McDonalds where we visited Scott and Jarred, as we discussed computer programming, then we went to my house later after my little brother got in and played around on the computer a bit... Went to musical, it thought it was pretty sweet, from what i understand the time i went was the one that people thought was the best so i think that is pretty sweet, i knew alot of people that were in the musical... Ugh, and then there is the fun part, well it appears the "Beast" is under the assumption i am trying to steal his girlfriend, which is a load of shit, i dealt enough with this bullshit over the summer and obviously changed my ways sence then *hence entry redemtion* and i want to state is clearly and obviously now, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF GOING OUT WITH VANESSA, no involved chicks, no way, not to mention anyone who remotely knows what my current situation was it knows it has nothing to do with Vanessa what-so-ever, but yet, this appears to not be enough because evidently the beast will not be pleased till i cease to converse with her alltogether, so, so be it, it sucks that Vanessa didn't even get a say in it even though i talked to her about it mulitple times and she said she thought we was friends, but no, i would never be a crazy over protective jerk if i had a girlfriend, if the beast ends up losing his girlfriend i say now, it will not be because of me, maybe he will realize that before it is too late, with all the other stuff i don't care to deal with this right now... -nathan-
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I want the things i had before

Listening to: Wonderful - Everclear
Well well well, hmm, well, i made a big list of the bands and albums i have, i thought it would be kinda neat to document everything. I got an application from Adrian College and they waived the return appilcation fee if i send it back, it is known for it's pre-law and pre-med programs...part of me wants to just go there and the other is saying kirtland is alot easier and closer and cheaper, because Adrian is almost in Ohio...But i suppose i will fill out the app and see how it goes, i suppose if they send it back and i can live on campus and everything i might as well...Of course i will almost never see anyone, expecially not the people who decide to go to the U.P. Me and Kyle have been discussing possibilities with Wednesday, it sounds like a pretty sweet idea to me... -nathan-
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Hope

You bring up a valid point but yet, I myself choose not to bind myself by the common views of society, which i am afraid it appears you have done in your examples, that is the primary reason i call myself "evil" and "blasphemy" for you see, our entire existence, everything we know is a belief, and if a belief is all you have and all you are then it seems the thing you must stick to the most is that fact of that belief, Truth in the sense of what you are saying is what everyone else agrees to be the common belief, but i see my belief as just as relevent as anyone else's regardless of whether or not i am on the majority, now a murder is wrong "morally" and is "unjust" by law, and desirves to be punished, but the fact of the matter is, he was doing what he believed he was to do, for how could he do something if he didn't believe it, now you could argue he may have been insane, and if that is true, should he be held responsible for his actions still? As you know good and evil is merely a matter of perspective, to some one increably down on their luck, with nothing left to lose, and an uncanny hatred, i would say that he believes he is doing what he is intending to do, and how can that be not true? What i seek is not something tangable or solid, or a simple lust factor, but i seek what i have always saught, the knowledge and freedom of exploring the human mind, i see not why to limit myself to what everyone else always knows because where-in does lie the ability to ask why, Truth is relative to too many things to be tanglible, location, time, situation, perspective, stress, and most importantly society, if everyone believed the exact same truth, there is no reason for anything anymore. all hope is lost, and hope is the aspect that what is seen as true now, may not always be... -nathan-
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Roses

Listening to: Roses - Outkast
This song is really cool, lol... i like the lyrics, This weekend was alot of fun, got a chance to revive the Morithin game with Patric at Ryan's house...The higlights of the eveining were Morithin came back into existence invaded Myth Drannor, invaded Respen's castle...Destoryed a lvl 21 cleric of Talona...Then with the aid of Diseased Respen destroyed 6 lvl 15 fighters and a lvl 24 lich, *who based on me rolling a 99% with a % die and a d10, had it's flakatary on it* then proceeded to go into the castle once again and desotryed an Avatar of Talona herself, regaining Myth Drannor and beggining to rebuild it... in two days Mario Kart DS is coming out and Joey wants to buy it and really wants me to buy it but i don't know if i want to because i have a hard time spending money... Mrs Petrokey kicked it up a notch in Lifeskills saying we are behind and now got to a bunch of dumb stuff incahoots with the mini life simulation... School is extra boring and dumb this year, i am really interesting in seeing what happens this summer and in college nxt year, hopefully i will be hanging out with Patric, and Ryan just around here...-nathan-
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Pfft Yeah

You scored as Outgoing. You outgoing and you have a very friendly personality.Outgoing69%mean69%Nice56%Fun50%Dramatic31%Immature25%Shy6%what kind of person are you? (shy,outgoing,fun,mean,immature,dramatic or nice?)created with QuizFarm.com Hmm outgoing and mean...i guess that means i'm not your behind the scenes kind of bully, oh well at least i scored what i most fit, Muyhahahahahaha, damnit
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Give To Me Sweet Sacred Bliss

Listening to: Suck My Kiss - RHCP
Yo, just thought i would write another entry, Well damn it seems the shit has hit the fan in such a large amount the fan itself has died out... It is driving me into hating images, movies and songs, portaying this seemingly great view of what happens, and people enjoy it becuase it is what they want, but really it just seems to be a poision in the mind driving people even more mad or depressed because their life is not on par with what it should be... S - secrets O - obsessions C - counter-productive I - idoicracy E - engulfing T - tiresome Y - why must we all go through this? It all boils down to a matter of stress and how people learn to deal with it, there is a hundred cliche's that come into play a hundred times but in the end there is no preperation, the only savior from life is to live it, -nathan-
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