[I'm bouncing off the walls again]
Feeling: glad

ok so, my updates are on a roll here! i feel proud :]].

I'm bouncing off the walls again, woahoo, i'm looking like a fool again, woahoo..

i have gotten me a hair cut! yes yes.

its not so short..i just got it relayered, in a V shape. and i got my bangs cut also. yep cuts off the weight :]]. My parents are fussing like, "Why do you want your hair so short?" or "I don't like the whole 'layer' thing"...so the fuck what?? its my hair i decide what to do with it and they should stay out of my business. kay? yea. i'm done there. yes indeed in fact i am.

myspace is not working.. its pissing me off. big time. hah. i've become addicted to myspace. ever since..uh uh uh...ever?. yea. and its not working and its pissing me off and grrrrrr. enough of my tantrum.

i feel quite glad today. i really don't know why?..maybe because i haven't talked to him? yes. maybe, or maybe just because. i'll never know. .. whatever.

i want to go straighten my hair. yet i'm too lazy to get up.. muahaha.. wait no..

MUAHEEHEE yes, the little peoples are on the loose again. going for rabbits, yep yep :]]

i'm out for today. have a biddy day :]]

that rhymed!!! ok i'm done.

-x-

4069 hit(s) (1 comments) | Your A Butt <3  
[this dream is not a dream.]
Listening to: Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy
Feeling: undesirable

yes, i'm updating earlier.. its just that something came up so yeah..i'm going to update regularly now.. happy?.

....

....

I had a bad dream.

It wasn't what I wanted. I lost the everyone that was close to me, and it just terrified me.

So in my dream, was a rabbit, m(r)s. powell's rabbit. after class, I was walking out and saw the rabbit, outside of the classroom, it was merry and hopping away. I went to get it and did. M(r)s. powell alwayss said to pick the rabbit up and support it's backside, and I did as I remembered. Then I lost balance and let the backside of the rabbit go. the rabbit had grip from his nails, and teeth on my left arm. The rabbit dug through my arm with its nails and teeth and left about 8 scratches which looked like cuts. I then started to bleed terribly, all I could do was get a paper towel and wash it off. I didn't want to be sent home if I went to the nurse.

I carried on my day as usual, though everyone was asking me what happened. I told them exactly what did happen, but no one believed me. Not even the people that are closest to me. Everyone thought I cut myself or "You promised not to, yet you did.", My family didn't even believe me. No one believed what had happened and I lost everyone I loved.

Then I brokedown and then everything blacked out.

-x-

oh and off the subject...its jordan's birthday :]] yippee.

269 hit(s) (1 comments) | Your A Butt <3  
[Whats a Lasbo??]
Feeling: glad

from now on i'll update every week, i can't update like everyday because..

1] theres not much going on

2] i will not have time and will forget

3] i just want to :]]

and so, on with this entry.

on saturday.. was a party, my friend angel's party, and a bunch of people were invited, though.. only 6 people showed up. me, sebass, hannah, charles, mac, and jennifer. it was fun, :]] me and mac.. flirted a lot. and i mean a lot that day. it was a bit odd. i was riding on his back most of the time he was there. we played tag :]]. and we had went to the lake and we were walking. me, sebass, mac and angela's little sister [which never let go of mac] walked around the lake and we saw ducks, i was really exicted about the ducks too :]]. so i got a little too close to the edge of the lake. and mac picks me up bridal style and kind of threatens to throw me in. i was terrified that he would. because, its mac. lol. but he didn't. so then he started to chase me and get me "fat" by poking me

so i got tired and i fell to the ground just lying there. when mac comes and sits on me. haha. and pokes my face. and also he flippin smacked my butt. and kicked it. but hey i got him back :]]. with both lol..

we watched Dark Water, its a pretty good movie, freaked me out. i was partly covering up my eyes. and everyone holds my hands so i would HAVE to see what was happening.. tis was sad. mother dies leaves her own daughter to be a mother for this other girl who would've killed the lady's daughter. after that we went outside again, to play Hide and Seek in the dark. best game ever. because its fun and yea :]] and i got a mucho grande hug from mac, yay. and it was cold so i felt better. :]] other than that the whole week i've been trying to get back at mac some more for kicking my butt. yes. i'm a weirdo. but. whatever.

"What's A Lasbo???" Lmao. keyboarding is hilarious. these two guys always bother me prii, and peggy and always talk about us. so he sends me an e-mail, saying " Your a Lesbian". so i was like.. okay? and prii said to email him back saying "omg.. how'd you know???" lmao, and so he e-mails me back saying "You have the Lasbo gang at the lunch table." and me prii and peggy were like.. "wtf is a LASBO????" and we emailed him saying that and i added "might be the meaning of you." and we couldn't stop laughing about it. we asked a bunch of people what a "Lasbo" was. lol they were like "wtf?" , it was fun :]]

i'm out for this week. my conclusion: next week and every week from now on, you will get an update from me :]] happy trailz.

239 hit(s) (1 comments) | Your A Butt <3  
[[Bitter/sweet week]]
Feeling: mopey

ok so the week,

has been nice at one part.

and the other part,

its just.. aggravating.

So, the guy i like, is going back out with his ex. woohoo.

and i actually gave him advice on it too.

but, he is my one of my best friends..

and well, i felt like i would be able to help him become happy again.

and now he is.

and i'm happy for him and her.

..[i think]..

And so, i think, i think i may be starting to get over him. just maybe. i don't know how things are working out.

Other than that..this other guy..is just wow. he's wonderful. funny thing is.. he flirts with me bunches. one day i was walking to class and i saw him and he gave me the look of "hatred" i didn't do anything and i said "you just hate me don't you.." and he says, "No, i don't hate you, i love you and i love you so much that i'll give you a hug right now." and he did, and i almost fell. face first. i bet your laughing. :]]

And then today, i was in that hugging mood, where i just hug everyone that came into the classroom. and well, he then comes in.. we give each other looks, of "hatred", and then i went up to him and was ready to give him a hug, and so he gives me a hug, and then i back away, he says then something about a bearhug and so i was going to give him one. He looks at me like noooooo. but he hugs me really tight :]]. HE FRICKIN HAS SOME ABS!. ooooh. i playfully punched him in the stomach.. which to him didn't hurt . because i hit something hard on his stomach and so i look at his stomach and he's laughing and i could only say.. "omg." and walk away cause i was blushing like crazy.

Also, during class.. i was walking back to my seat after throwing something away. i look at him, and give him a "hatred" look, he gives me one back, then he does an air kiss towards me. i looked suprised and gave a little laugh while he's sitting there smiling like an idiot.

----------------

5th period is awesome. lunch, food time, my belly feeding time, yum. me and maria took pictures. yay.

6th period, i love prii!! she's hilarious, along with peggy, lmao we almost got written up for making so much noise.. rawr... but its fun and awesome, i love my buttercup. :]]

7th period. we had a sub for SS. we had a ton of work to do though.. grr. skylar fell asleep behind me lol and then pokes me every five minute so i would make a squeaky noise, and our substitute would look at me like.. "wha?" so yea, skylar is the sleeper man!. yay. i love skylar, he's like my brother, seriously. its only that we're not blood related. i even cried over him..can you believe that?. i mean. it was because that i actually have a role model, that i can always look up to as a big brother, and i was really sad that i was going to leave him going to another school. but we had made our choices. and well yea. i've been closer to him for the past week ever since that day i cried.

i'm out..updating might take some time. eh..heh.

-x-

263 hit(s) (1 comments) | Your A Butt <3  
[as if there's nothing left]
Feeling: bothered

ok so a lot has been going on lately. and well.. it bothers me. a bunch. i hate how people talk and then make up stuff thats not true. and then i hate how people will make you mad, because they're the ones always starting it.

ok so, my friend [i will fail to mention who], said that i lied to her. and also said that she was becoming a prep. i had never did say that. all i did say, no, all i AGREED to was that she has been hanging out with preps. this made me cry, because she thought i would lie about anything. and it made a scene infront of other people that weren't involved in the situation. but then 2 days later, she apologized. and it was kind of both our fault that, she should have known that i wouldn't lie to her. and that i kinda walked away before she said "ok w/e i believe you". so we're okay now.

and so another thing, this other chick [i will fail to mention her name also] likes the guy i like [ajfhaloveajkshd]. and thinks he likes her back, which she has no clue about anything. this made me laugh. he has and will like the girl that broke his heart. she asked him out. in a note, which me and my friend saw. and he was kind of mad that we were actually reading it. we were quiet right after we had read the note, and then my friend--"Do you want it? 'cause i don't." me-- "I don't want it, do you?" guy--* takes it and doesn't say anything*. and it was a bit awkward. the chick [that likes the same guy] is just so egocentric. she thinks all the guys like her, and whoever doesn't, she'll supposedly take revenge and says "Well he doesn't like me anyways". uhhh..yea thats a perfect reason to do that. wtfe. she goes out with someone, and brags about it, cheats on them, brags about it, breaks up with them, brags about it. as if guys have no feelings what so ever. and if the guy and her were to go out, he would soon have a broken heart again. i mean the guy is my best friend, and i don't want anyone hurting him. no one.

this brings it to him. ok so me and my mom were talking yesterday.. oh yes big surprise. and she's tried something that most teenagers would try.. tabacco. [don't go tell your mothers that my mom tried it, please.] just not the thing itself, it was mixed with something else i dont know. i was surprised that she would do that. i mean, my mom = goodie goodie. so then i asked him if tabacco can get you high.. it was an innocent question. and so he starts ranting about "you didn't learn anything in code blue? that you can die the first time you try it" and says that "why do you want to get high so bad?" and "you always talk about going drunk fishing and shit" duuuude! it was a joke between me and my other friend. he was fuckin overreacting as if i was some "wannabe" trying to fit in with everyone else. also saying that "you get drunk with me and all the other people and stuff" thats when i got mad, and signed off. because over one fuckin question, he has to fuckin over react and say stuff that might hurt someone, and never think about it. it really bothered me, so we're not talking at the moment, of this day, and i don't think tomorrow. because he's probably going to tell my best friend and well, WHY CREATE FUCKIN DRAMA?!

so what else is left?

ok so i'm out for now.

have a nice day

264 hit(s) (1 comments) | Your A Butt <3  
love is such a tragedy
Listening to: Can You Hear Me Now - Blinded Black
Feeling: touchy

ok so i do admit that i love him.. more than anything and anyone. but..its making it harder.. because.. he doesnt love me back...at all.. he still loves her.. so much... and well.. yeah.. it makes it harder because seeing him sad about his issue makes me even more sad..

i want to let him go.. a lot of people said that.. but i just can't figure out a way...

i want him happy with no worries, no sadness coming in his path..just a good life..

i want to just forget trying..because its never going to happen.

its tearing me up and i hate it..a lot of people have said i've changed.. i realize i have changed...i'm not who i used to be, who i'm supposed to be, who i should be.

---------------------

Can you hear me now? woooah woooah i'm on the other end of the telephone, look at me now. am i speaking clear enough, can you scream it now? wooah wooah, i'm on the other end of the radio, tune it in, now sing along, you'll be the biggest fan we have

-Blinded Black

yep. so i think the day was pretty good..i guess. i dont know what to think..

i have about 3 or 4 projects due all close to the same day.. and i havent worked on one the whole week.. which is not good at all.. ugh.

happy times:

-i own skylar's aka brotha's right boob while he owns my left boob

-i own mac's left boob while he owns my right..

-making preps mad is fun..

---------------------

thats about all the good times i've had today.. or in the past week.

so i shall leave for now.

274 hit(s) (1 comments) | Your A Butt <3  
its not fair..
Listening to: "Just Stop"- Disturbed
Feeling: eh

grrr.. ok so my day was okayish i guess... i dont know.. stuff happened...but grr.. it doesnt feel right i just dont know why though... and i'm having typing problems..

i have a essay thing due to apply for the IB thing.. i almost finished it.. and well.. ijusthopeigetintosouthside.

-[it happens again..]-

he did it again..

and it hurts because i can never have him.

ever.

anyhow..

we were frickin late for lunch by..about 15 minutes.. its not fair because our class was pretty much starving.. grr..

-[my stomach feels bubbly..]-

which made me miss like about 5 or 6 minutes of lunchtime we had left.. which is sad because i only ate fries. with ketchup... [katsup]

may i say more music.. yes i shall :]]

["Follow and Feel"-Saosin]

lovely song

"you're watching the situation crumble"

hahah ok sam??.. our agreement on edward is settled then?.. cause i call face and 3 of his abs... and something else..*wink wink* lmao. fun..

["Anna Molly"-Incubus]

parents suck..you know?

oh and valentines day sucked and always has for me..

but what they did for valentines day at lunch was hilarious.. which cheered me up a bit :]].

they danced.. to old songs and 1 modern one..

and then came the last dance where 3 guys.. dressed up as girls.. yes with the fake boobs and everything. sang "its raining men" i was surprised yet laughing, cheering them on. they threw their wigs out into the lunch crowd which was even funnier. cause some girls got them and swung them around. so funny.. i was there for 2 performances for each group.. through 7th grade lunch and 8th grade.

well i'm gonna go for now and well i'll update later. night night

-x-

290 hit(s) (1 comments) | Your A Butt <3  
hurting...much?
Feeling: empty

...i love him...

i love him...but it hurts..

i want to get over him...but i cant...

i dont want to love him because the only thing its causing me is pain...

...and a little bit of happiness..in the 3 seconds he hugs me is the only happiness i find...

yea sure.. i'll act like i'm happy when he's around but i just dont want him to know what's really wrong..i love him..i dont want him to know because...i'll lose him...as my best friend and more...

you can call me crazy and a loser and stupid.

but i am crazy..for him

i am a loser..to love him

i am stupid..to be in love.

enough of that...

my day was uh... ok

i was a bit hyper too.. while we were playing basketball in uh 4th period because our teacher wasnt here for math.. so yea.. we played basketball and hung out and stuff,with sarah, angela, heather and jennifer..it was fun..i was rolling on the ground everytime we missed a shot and i knocked heather down.. fun stuff..wooh.

other than that my day was.. ok.

i'll update sooner i can promise you that.

-x-

264 hit(s) (2 comments) | Your A Butt <3  
i hate it..
Feeling: weird

i hate it i really do.. it hurts me to think about it.. the only way i can express my feelings is on here. and its the best way. if someone would ask me what was wrong i wouldnt be able to tell them what was, because i can't put the feeling into words.

ok so i cried yesterday and for many reasons. guys;; friends;; pressure;; and yea..

yesterday i was thinking and thinking about stuff made me realize. i need to change. i need to change how i react to bad things. i hate how i would just sit there when something did happen. i hate how i can't help the people i love the most. and i just keep saying "i'm sorry" "i'm sorry".. i hate it. how i act like a whiny stubborn child. i hate it. and guys.

gah. him just saying his name hurts. even when i hear it. theres like a painful feeling.around my stomach and chest not because of physical pain. emotional pain.

ok so i was on myspace.. there were surveys going around and so i wanted to well do one and i did. and other people did it too.. so he did the survey also. one of the questions were "have you broken someone's heart?" and he says "idk hope not" my heart just dropped.. he lies. he should know. he shold know what that did to me. even if i acted happy for his gf and him. it was like i died inside when i found out .

i want to forget. yet my heart does not. i cried because of this. i dont know what to do.

i also thought about us being friends. yea. and i thought he could help me with my problem. minus the guys part. i was wrong. he didnt help me and when i said "..i'm just going to go.." he just says "ok.."... that broke me.

class will be over in about like. 15 minutes.. so.. i dont know should i go or should i not.

should i forget..or no..

318 hit(s) (3 comments) | Your A Butt <3  
i broke my promise

ok so i broke my promise.. i'm sorry like x293718263816247365 times.. really.. i;ve been busy with so many things and i feel bad now. me is sorry. yes...that i am.

soo i shall start off with my day:

i went to work.. whooptidoo. no. i hate working...hate.it. baaad.

customers also get on my nerves.. these old people come in and they never leave me alone. saying "HIII" "how are yoou" ok the old guy barely leaves me alone. keeps asking me questions.. its annoying.

ok so my week wasnt too bad.. its ok i guess. i found out some stuff that almost made me cry.. yes there ARE lieing (sp?) cheating, people who take pity upon others. and i want to die. if people are gonna be that why towards you then why live... ok so i'm directing that thing towards me.. not you guys.. i dont want you to die..promise. i looove you all.

there are reasons why i wont tell you why i'm saying all this. because some things arent meant to say on the internet. yes thats why.

my parents are bums.

they blame me.well my dad. blames me for not going to work one day.. i hated that.. saying

"oh because you didnt come we only made $300. its all over now. the buisness is over" I HATE HIM! its not my fault they only made 300 fucking dollars!.. i'm not going out on the streets and yelling "hey people come and buy stuff from our store!" just to get people in our store. gah.

ok so i shall go you now know what has happened.. i updated you with a lot of everything that has happened so yea..i'll update hopefully soon. promise. i just need sam for that lol.

love you all ♥

283 hit(s) (1 comments) | Your A Butt <3  


Entry List
[I'm bouncing off the walls...
[this dream is not a dream.]
[Whats a Lasbo??]
[[Bitter/sweet week]]
[as if there's nothing left]
love is such a tragedy
its not fair..
hurting...much?
i hate it..
i broke my promise
my hoodie!
wannahakalooki oooh
sickish
AAAAH!
cheya..
bad feeling...
oh...my...god..not good...and...
is it hot or wat?
ugh...
the peirces
ooooooh yaay
OMG!
oh god oh god oh god!
ME ELLOOOOOOO!
hamster!
oooh nice song
ohhh myy
i just dont know...
stupid complication of...
hello...
gr...its a cold.
I dont like my life...really
uh..
i dont know why!!
*yawn*
valentines dayy
hmm
WOAHO!
Hello again
HAH......uh bored.
AAH too much
Kinda dizzy and high...lol
hmm...i dont know wat title...
hi
YAY!!!!!!!!
Hey
ELLLOOOO
cough cough
ok i think this is wierd and...
*Hey*
at a friends house
again..**
Happy poo! *lol*
:(
school...ugh!
someones wedding yesterday
*blank*
SO BORED!
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