Currently, okay?

Had orrientation today at Target. It went pretty well. The message behind the whole ordeal of me getting this job still lingures over me, it hasn't gotten easier to let everyone go like this. I feel bad, I am leaving my Kmart family for a whole new group of people, one that consists of more than 68 people. One that I know will take time to get used to. A new home for my soul, one that I know is for the best, but is still wanting to milk every moment I have with my current family until I can't. I know though, that in order to take care of myself, and to keep my life in good order, I must leave and continue on with my life, creating new chapters as I go on, making new friends but praying to GOD I still have the old.

Everything is okay, it has to be. Just thinking of my blessed store, closing and getting turned into something else, or even demolished just tears me up. These people I have grown so a custome to, will be sweapt under mty feet, as if they never existed. It makes me resent the very thing that nurtered me these past years. Kmart.

Guhh. I will get over this.

The past week has been one of the hardest I have seen in a long time.

I go into work, and Angela lets me in (we aren't open yet) She is crying.

She then tells me that the store is closing.

Holly comes up to me also, and her mom is there as well (they both work there) And she starts to cry, bawl even and she says "Mom, we the only income in our house, we are out of a job, we are going to lose the house...What are we going to do?" all as she is crying her eyes out.

I grab her, and start to cry as we embrace into a hug.

Tina...The store manager comes over, and grabs me and tells me to come with her.

I follow her.

and so does one of my best friends I aquired at Kmart, who started the same time as I that day.

We get taken to electronice were all the full timers are. I look around, I see Randy, Our district manager and at this point I catch a glimps of Tami, one of the managers.

She notices me tearing up.

She walks over torwards me and holds her arms out as if to say "I know honey, we all feel this way" and she holds me as I bawl into her shoulder, barley controling my emotions as I start to shake.

I let go of her embrace to notice I started a chain reaction, everyone starts to cry.

Tina, who has been there 32 years comes up to me and hugs me as I continue to cry.

Then Debbie, the softlines manager.

and one by one, we all continue to cry, embracing each other, knowing whats to come.

knowing our family is getting broken up, knowing that in a few months, we wont be there for eachother anymore,.

We all know it is impossible to maintain a strong relationship if there no reason for all of us to meet. No meeting place, no family.

We all are one huge family and it kills me to know that our family will be no more.

As eachday draws an end, there is just little reminders that our family at Kmart is no more.

Pharmacy is closing on Thursday.

The company renting a rent-a-cop to watch us "disgruntled" employees,making sure we don't steal anything.

after all, we have "nothing to lose"

HOW DARE the landlord shut the doors of this loving family that has helped nuture and teach all of us countless things.

I will never find a job were the people are as great as the one I have now.

I am going to miss this huge part of my life, and that alone brings tears to my eyes.

So, this funny thig keeps creaping up on me. I crack open a fortune cookie. It says "This time next month, you will gain somethig...or something like that.

Then today, I go to my car, and I see a dried up four leaf clover. Just laying on the passenger seat. I took it inside and framed it.

I don't know, I just think something big is about to happen, I think an Angel is watching over me, we will see were this goes, right?

I'm excited!

bladhfiewhd goodnight.

scrubs is an awesome show.

yeah, thats it.

Not quite done yet, actually.

I am going to be frank (who ever that is!)

I sit here complaining about my lifa sometimes, but sometimes I need to step back and realize what I have.

I have a real close buddy I work with, let's call him Jim.

Jim and I LOVE working together, when we are together, shit gets done. I always look on the schedule to see if he is working when I do. The managers love the work we accomplish together, and love us working together (which is RARE, they never let you work with a 'partner')

Him and I share almost everything (well, not everything, but alot of stuff)

Long story short, he came into work, and I knew something was wrong, I asked him what was up...

He broke down and told me that a family member of his has cancer.

He was so strong, it amazes me how well he has been coping, everyone needs someone strong like that in there life, someone to bring them up. And trust me, 'Jim' does, him and I LAUGH so much, we have a shittttnsjdbns load of inside jokes "Seven trays of fooooooood?" ahaha "You wanted a can opener? Is this it? (holds up baby".....(nvm)

Anyway, Jim is just a strong person and he is sticking by this family members side, going to every appointment and just being great. I am so proud of him, I am truly glad to call him my friend, maybe potentially one of the best.

Now I should get going to bed, before I ...well, I don't know.

Sasquatch out.

This whole thing is hopefully working out, I will tell you what it is later, I have already told to many people, and it is jumping to bite my ass.

I want it to be solid, and concrete before I tell anyone else. But I am really excited for this. Very VERY excited, it will be very good for Lisa and I.

But yes, I am doing well, just enjoying my night, I am happy because I got off at four and I have tomorrow off. So, I got to enjoy some of the day on Monday, and I have the next day off too. It's like a mini vacation!!!

Aha...but not really :D

I also was happpy because instead of working a third 12:30 to 9 on Sunday, they switched me to a 6am to 2:30pm, I was estatic. I had the WHOLE day to just chill, I got to go to my girlfriends dads house, and have dinner. and got alittle money, for no reason, it was nice...it will help pay the bills, most definatly.

Hmm, anyway I guess I should be getting going to bed, my lovely woman awaits me.

Well, first I am going to go read the postsecrets.

Goodnight.

Sososoossooo.

find myself staying up later, and later and later.

guess it is the only time I get to spend to myself, considering I work during the day so much, it is kinda bull.

worked 12:30 in the afternoon to 9pm tonight, and will work that again Saturday, and then again on Sunday.

then on Monday, I have to be back at 8 in the morning. I have a great feeling that I am going to be run down. Ahaha but it is okay, that is a major part of being an adult, I guess. :/

Anyway, I better stop complainng.

I need to lose weight, I am not HUGE but I am most definatly not small. I still get lookes from woman/girls and the ocational guy every so often, but I still need to lose the weight, about thirty pounds.

It just stresses me out, because knowing I want to lose weight, makes me so fucking HUNGRY. and that defeats the purpose all together, but I think I can do it, for me and for Lisa. I want our relatonship to be as great as possible, and I have a feeling that if I do this it will make me happier, and all in all our relationship better as well.

I just need someone to drag me into to it. because I am lazy, when it comes to this. Ya dig.

Hmm, what else is on my mind?

nothing much, really.

sitting here, getting ready for bed.

most look forward ot the weekend.

NOT ME.

Ahaha

Getting ready to work a stupid shift tomorrow.

12:30 to 9:00

So, I don;t get to enjoy any of the day.

The best part is...I work this same shift on Sunday too.

all well, atleast today is pay day.

Yeah, so how are you guys doing, my awesome readers, of two of you. if that.

Well, it just feels good to type my feelings every once in a while.

Life has been stressful lately. (it seems like all I do is COMPLAIN, huh?)

I don;t really want ot talk about it now, mostly because I don't want to jinx it... but it is a very GOOD thing I am trying to do, but it is a stressful road to get there.

oh and my landlord has been pissing me off.

yeah, she comes up to my girlfriend and is like "Your garbedge is unattractive, you really should do something about it" and just LITTLE shit like that, WE pay the rent, if we want our garbedge full than god damn it...it will be. :]

blahdhajs

Work, it is bringing me down.

I try so fucking hard to thrive there, and I do.

I go in on Sunday...

My boss calls me in back, she says something along the lines of

"A gentle men called, he said all the service was great, but most of all he said that YOU were the only reason he comes in, and if you worked everyday, he would come in everyday. He thinks you are 50x better then any of the assoiates that work there and that you deserve 15.00 an hour. Brandon, this isn't the first time you get compliments like this, I am very proud of you, thank you for taking the time out with each customer, we are really lucky to have you"

So, I am on cloud nine when she says this...

today was my day off, I get a call from Kmart.

They tell me that they are removing me from the schedule on friday.

(JUST friday, I stil have a job....thank god.)

But, that just upsets me, because I work SO HARD, just so I get my hours cut?

What the hell man?

I brought up our customer satisfaction up from 17% to 53%

(it is an online servey people do...I have been pushing good scores with the customers, Management has been very happy with me.)

AHHHH

What is the fucking point?

NO raise...

HOURS CUT....

Why even fucking try anymore?

It just...

I don't understand.

maybe I am just nieve, and over examining all this.

It is so hot.

I find myself going to the freezer, and sticking my head in it....

It feels nice.

There is record heat, were I live.

107 degrees were I live.

107!

I sit, and just sweat.

Gross, huh?

It is nice because at my work, they turned off half the lights, and let us wear shorts and thin cotton shirts.

Such a great place. Haha

I have been drinking more fluids then ever.

I drink probably 5 bottled waters a day.

Shit huh?

and maybe a smirinoff or two :]

Telllll me, how you are coping from the heat, so I can steal your method.

www.myspace.com/brandonlegore.

add me.