Soon I'll be properly Irish, and have enough money to travel thanks to fulltimejob<3 Exciting, kind of! :)

Doesn't help that my boyfriend is the most annoying person on earth... Dreams last so long Even after you're gone I know you love me And soon you will see You were meant for me And I was meant for you fucking hell, I thought I was over this phase! Maybe I'm never going to get over it. It's like we're the main characters in a TV show that has a cast change every season, with the exception of two central people. And like, you know, that at the end of the show they're going to get together but never while the show is happening. Orrrr maybe I'm just full of shit, and that's not going to happen; instead, I'll go my way and he'll go his and if it's meant to be we'll meet up later. I hope I get over this soon. I can't bear it, can't stand it, it only happens about three times a year but it's upsetting enough. Even my boyfriend has noticed something. I AM SO FULL OF SHIT.

My shower smells AMAZING My breath, on the other hand, I suspect may smell the opposite. I haven't taken painkillers all day, go ME! *airpunch* I'm getting tired and it's only 10:51pm. Jesus fucking christ Chryssa where are you? Never mnd that I just got out of the shower and won't be ready for another 20 minutes. It's YOU who should be waiting, not me. Yup, just scanning some old polaroids and shiz. Fun times ♥

It just took me an hour and a half to have my codral, and finally I'm going to bed. I'm a motherfucking procrastinator! I had some fun re-living some of these entries though, haha. Apparently things need to change for my boyfriend and I to have a chance of staying together. I cried a lot on the weekend. But these days, it's becoming normality. I realise this is a bad thing, obviously.

It's Christmas in two days My baby's lying on the couch with the aircon I'm in my room with the kitten, who's asleep. Chaddy in 8 hours, weeoo! 24hour shopping for the win!! IT'S FUCKING HOT LADS.

You better get that reference, lawlz. Hoooly shitsticks, when did sitD get a text editor thing? Anyway, as my dumb kitten (who's 4 months old as of two minutes ago...!) runs and runs and runs around the house, I ponder as to whether or not I am actually sane. The slightlest thing makes me depressed. And I know, I know, PMS PMS PMS you all shout. Well, yeah, but I'm not convinced. Because I'm fucking pissed. Anyway I'm starting a diet after Christmas because I gotta change my lifestyle hardcore. I have even cut down on the smokes, if chu can believe it. DUDES IT'S NEARLY TWENTY TEN! XD Today, I missed Kira's 21st picnic. & Mark bought me socks, also it's Jaseface's birthday and Chryssa and Michael were on Sunrise. Which I have yet to actually see but tomorrow's another day. LESS THAN FIVE HOURS TO WAKE UP BIIIIIIITCHEZ

WHY CAN'T WE JUUUST BE TOGEEEETHER AH-YEAH-EE-YEAH-EE-YEAH (massive folio due time, bahaha, I haven't started and tomorrow's the last class. I'm suuuuch a failure. :( sigh)

He's so so so gorgeous. He couldn't even look at me. And he kept apologising, "because it's only been less than a month." ahhhhhh ♥ I should really go do some homework for Steve Rendall class tomorrow.

#1 - clean room.

I'm really soppy and I've just been reading love blogs and smoking blogs, they're great. I feel a lot younger than I am at the moment. I was hid around the corner of the house, away from the parents. Who weren't supposed to be home. Is it possible there's a generation gap? Which seventh deadly sin should I dress as I wonder. I don't even know what they are. I'll make him dress as sloth, because he's so lazy he'll just end up going as himself anyway. whatever, I like being naked. "That's my girl." :) guuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrllllll!! bahahaha

I have conjunctivitis and I got stuck in the rain for twenty minutes walking from Johnston St to Gertrude. but it was amazing. Fuck today was pretty good. :)

Guess I crossed off number one whaaaaat a fuck up. Wish Matt would wake up so we could talk. Whyyyyyy did I choose the stoner. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH uuuughh.

Tomorrow I have to go to Chryssa's grandfather's funeral. It's awful. I didn't see it coming. I also doubt I have anything appropriate to wear. My to-do list pretty much reads as follows. 1. Break Simon's heart followed by 2. Find somewhere to have sex with Matt. both related, I suppose. uuuuuuuuuuuughhhhh I just can't be bothered with anything at the moment. It's never, ever easy. laaaaa

holy fucksticks, I thought sitDiary deleted all my entries, because I tried to... and... there was just white... and INACTIVE I mean WHAT THE FUCK MAN WAY TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK but seriouzz I don't care. Or I feel like I should say I don't care even though I clearly do. I have to finally adjust to having no money, it's going to be a TOUGHY I tells ya.

I actually lost twenty, but I recovered ten where I had dropped it; the other ten must have blown away and been picked up by some lucky sod. ARGH. I hate everything! It's karma for not saving, I swear. Speaking of not having enough money for stuff, I better go call Taka. Siiiiiigh

I'm putting together some influences ya. I'm pretty gay. But I just want to know what it feels like to be Peaches Geldof for once. Or late 90's Billie Piper. You know? No? No, neither do I. I think I was happiest in 2007, at least that's what I was thinking at about 5:30am. That's the time I used to get up? Now it's the time this insomniac falls asleep. I had to turn off my alarm because I hadn't even fallen asleep yet. I'm so screwed up. I think that period of late 2007 particularly was the time I started changing the most... but maybe in a good way? I have such fond, fond memories of it! Of carrying my discman around and listening to Saint Simon (Shins, God bless them... Simon has been getting into them recently, he told me so the other day. Yeah yeah I know). Of housesitting with Lawra in the manch. Song 4 Mutya. I think maybe it's because I was listening to all that music that I was getting very nostalgic... for those people, those times, when I don't remember there being any sadness particularly. When I slept more. When I was more innocent, I suppose, yet at the same time wiser than my peers, doing things that they are only doing now. But then again, I am now doing things that some did years before... I don't really know. I can't put a proper finger on it! But... drawing class with Tom. And my friendship with Anne & Jess & Val, early '07 styles before I became paranoid that Anne hated me. Which now I don't care about. I know I get over certain things, but then I get sad that I have? I don't want to lose things! I don't want to lose the fact that I care. That time Emma put a sticker on my back and Anthony Smith became sticker guy. And I fell in love so easily. I was so in love with every boy I knew back then. I don't know. Not too long ago, I would have said that 2008 was my most fantastic year. It was a year of branching out, great change... but I really am beginning to love who I was in 2007. '08 was a blur. Crazy times, and who doesn't love that? But enough is enough, and I was so cute, fresh, doe-eyed. Alina just signed in. Alina! I haven't even properly spoken to her since '07! I made all these friends... I just wish I hadn't made such a messy transition to '08, so I could still see these people and be friends with them. Because I miss them. And me.

On Sunday I made the first thing I have ever made ever... MUFFINS I culdn't effing believe it either. Nor could Chryssa.

Update: meh.

I'm not, really. Just overhearing the song on TV; dad's watching RockWiz. Old episode on VH1. Yeah. But one would suggest that all this Bridget Jones bullshit has really gotten to me; am overanalysing self, speaking with internal diary-esque monologue, started actual diary (weird?). Ah I don't mind, really. I know it's just comforting. Better than comfort eating/ watching TV. Maybe I'll emerge more intelligent. Ya anyhow Spent break with Chryssa and her slightly creepy uncle, who invited us on an all-expenses-paid weekender to Sydders, I mean fuck off, I hate Sydney rather a lot. Chryssa and I planned to go vintage shopping there soonish, but not on March 20... as if I'll have any money stored away (all-expenses-paid does NOT take into account my need to spend constantly. Will feel bad scumming off uncle. Not that bad, actually) and also really want to go to Semi-Permanent as previously discussed with Michael. (Still holding high hopes that he who shall not be named, just in case, will be along for the ride... heh heh hehhhh *cough*) Also feel like the uncle is using us to feel young/get off with. Ha. BUT I'M REALLY REALLY EXCITED ABOUT WEDNESDAY I COULDN'T STOP SMILING TODAY =D Wonder what to wear...?

I haven't had any cigarettes today fuck man The entire day I couldn't stop thinking about him; weird because I kind of expected to not after talking to Sarah yesterday for about seven hours. We just chilled and smoked with Mimi the cat, we are the fabulocity.