im not dead

** Sry yall it has been a while yeah i know but alot has happend well tomrrow is the last day of skewl for 11 days and for thanksgiving i will be going to Texas cause my house out there needs new windows so i asked my mom if we could just pay for my (CLOSE) relatives and have Thanksgiving down there casue its like only a year old house and its HUGE HOUSE also i am bringing my boyfriend and my bestest friend Amanda (a man duh!) lol but yeah Friday i will have ben dating NIk for 3 weeks hes cool . I have a shoot this week for allure magazine so im siked!!!
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Amanda

** amanda is my brestest friend she helps me with everything that i need today is justy really boring and im sad and i dont even know why skewl is gay my fmaily is a draG i like dont even wanna b here anymore
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?!?!?!!?

** So nothing is really going on bordom has taken over. I have been having dreams abotu me and my best friend dating its kinda weird i dunno if i should tell him or wat?!?!?
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Whorez**

** i am so bad at keeping up this diary so uh nothign really has been goingon in my life boring shit as always..... i am dating Micheal fun fun...not really i mean ilove himhes awsome but theres just something about himthat makes me nervous and it sucks then Monday night i was tlakin to my Ex willie and he was telling me about how much he missses me and stuff so i wasnmt thinking strait and i invited him over on friday night then like Micheal got all butt hurt cause like hes worried thzat i will cheat on him but allwe are going to do is drink and catch up on old times yeah soo bad..... ** Anyways** The damn yankees lost last night so there out of the play offs which blowzs ballzbut hockey is back and im happy but what syhould i do about Micheal?? any suggestions
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Weekend

**Well geese it has been a while since i have been on here well this weekend This kid Micheal came over on Saturday and we hung out till oo about 130 it was fun but then my dad came home all shit faced and had to take him home..... Sunday Mark the fool tht lives across the street his dad came over adn was talkin to my dad about how i was makin out with my boyfriend on the front porch and alll the neighboors could watch it... in my defense i was in the house the whole time so he couldnt have seen anythign but when he told my dad that i was standing out side and was like so are you jealous he gave me the nastyesy look ever but hmm Friday night some bitch Britney wanted to fight me at the homecoming game so i was up for it im not gonna back down from a fight esp not one with her shes had beef since the begging of the year..... **RANUM RAIDERS LOST THER HOMECOMING GAME**
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**H.A.B**

** If you think u know what it means be my guesst and try and guess but ull all get it wrong..... My life is boring the poweder puff is tonite and i cant even go which is bullshit so instead i get to sit here in my moms clasroom and be bored cause thth wat i do best.... i got another referal yesterday in Math cause i was fighting over food which is dumb casue no one had food in that class i watched the damn broncos last ngiht and it was pretty boring skewl is pretty boring too casue all my friends are sick of skewl already and theres nothing to really do....
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**Coke**

** NO not the drink the drug it is very bad but yet i did it once and want to do it again ugh so last night me and a bunch of gurls from the volleyball team went to a Colorado University Volleyball game and it was soo boring cause we lost so me and like 12 other girls decidede to prank call him and his stupid little girlfriend answered and was like is this ajs ex i was liek yeah she goes ohhhh man ur so pretty aj talks all about u and how kewl u were :P i was like ooo . *~*ANYWAYS*~* ** Nothing really is good in my life my dad doesnt want to se me during the week anymore so tht fuckin stupid he pisses me off ugh .........
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*Skewl*

** So freshman orentation was today and me and a couple of gurlies went to help out and the new freshman were so cute and they were like so scared we were like oh no were not like the senior were really nice and we made like 50 new freshmans friends it was fun nost of them were like clueless as to were ta gop but i did my good deed of the month :P wat a dork i am hehe so A.J.s parents are sendin him away to alabama fro sure which blowz cause well only b able to tlak after 9(WHICH is 8 my time) and on the weekends which is okay with me cause at least we get to talk ya know and with skewl starting i dont need to be on the ohone until 12 o clock any ways so hmm i have to work at Colorado Tan pretty soon here but illl write later peace...............
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Boiz r smelly :P

okay lemme just say this to all of u who lost ur fiiends i will tell u how to get em all back all u do is go to the top of ur page were it says prefernces click it then hit add all old friends and itll bring em back....Easy whoever did it is a real JERK ugh hmm ugh skewl start on MoNDAY but nothing else is really new i am fallin in love with aj i dont know if it will make me happier or wat i am hoppin so far its like hes a toatl differnet person since the last time we went out but i will be at my dadas house all weekend casue mom and ron are going to UTAH well bored is makin me fall asleep so ill write lr maybe
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myspace

http://home.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user&Mytoken=20050812130826 i think thts my thigny or wat ever and its jsut cause too many ppl ask me if i hve my space and its annoying but oh well
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BAd newz

*~* okay sry i havent written in a while but i have had alot on my mind l8ly okay so for all of u whom read my diary know tht my best friend aj was supposedly dead u dont need to back up and reread wat i just wrote i didnt studder aj isnt dead i know that u should be happy but ugh heres the story: okay so like last month ajs screeename popped up and said baby ive missed u soo much well hmm i thought he was dead but i was wrong he was in jail 4 7 months for grand theft auto and attempted suiceide or w/e and his sister went around and told eveybody tht he was dead so we have talked and yes were back together and no jordan doesnt know im such a fricken hoe bag gosh!@!!@!!@! but last nite he was soo happy but then like his happinesss slowly drained once he was home and he was talkin about how he was bi polar and couldnt afford the medicine and he doesnt have life insurance and i was crying so much he was like i want nothin more then 4 u to be happy....how i am i supposed to be happy when my best friend is suffering his dad wont let him move out here till hes 18 which is 2 yearz but those r going to b 2 very very very very long years and i miss him sooo much but like god how could i do this???? how could i let my best friend live like this???? HOW i feel so bad and i told him i loved him and he goes i love u to then was like do u think i love u ..........i replyd no which he cried well i dont no if he cried but i think he did casue i really do know how much he cares about me but love is a totally different question but by the end of our convo i told him tht i belived 110% tht he loved me ...wat else did he tell me oh yeah tht hes never been in love with a gurl until me!!!!!!i am so happy but so sad 4 him at the same time. WAT WOULD U DO ?????
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ehh

*~* So nothing really has happend this weekend cept i went camping with Sam and Justin which totally was awsome cause we had a blast there was like this stream down from our campsite so me and the boiz went down and were walkin thru it then Saturday nite me n Justin went for a walk cause we were cold and Justin asked me how i really felt about him ....and if i could ever find it in my heart to go out with him ...my stomach dropped literally i trew up i was so embarassed but hmmmm i really dont no wat to say but i have liked Justin 4 a really long time but everytime i date on of my friends we break up and our friendship is over it has happend with jake branden and other ppl i just choose to forget but omg i need help like now
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Dumbasses

**Ugh so nothing really has happend in the last few dayz m birthday was last week and it suxed sum ppl totally forgot which sucked hmm and im on vacation and i actually miss my mom and Ron it is the worst hmmm and today i went to a driving range (golf)adn i actually hit like 10 ballz i also invented one handed golf hahah it was fun but fourth of July was kinda cool cept i almost kicked my cousins ass she called me a liar i am kinda like Tonya from the real world u can call me a bitch u can call m a slut but dont ever fuckin call me a liar its total disrespect ugh someone has to no how i feel or feel the same way but hmm wat else is going on ??????? nothing my summer sucks cause i never get to hang out with my cousins but ugh ill write l8r to bored
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hmmmm

** oh my frekin god today was so boring well i went out to the usa steak buffet and 4 huys came up and asked for my # it was pretty funny hmm then lets see i wanted to go swimming but i am going to a water park tomorrow with the Millers(B-A-R-F) and amy and her parents and yeah i didnt really do anything fun i wanted to go shopping but didnt of course my grandparents do everything my bro ha wants to do and not me ugh but omg my boyfriend came out to iowa(were i am currently now vacationing) and showed up on my grandparents porch eith a dozen roses yaahhhhhh well g2g **
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*Jordan*

** hahaha finally i am done with cheating Glenn...i cant belive i was actually with him 4 2 months i want ayll to chc out bmdavis24's diary she is my best friend and i love her but i worry so much about her cause she is dating this mickey guy and he uses her like a library card and its not kewl cause she doesnt no but i guess now she does i dont no fo sure if he cheated on her but i have a very good hunch thth he was she is G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S and i mean it i want her to be happy but if being happy means being with him i kinda dont want her to b huh anyways me new boyfriends name is Jordan he is really a sweetie and he cares and ugh hmm wat else i had to come home early from Iowa 2 weeks early casue my gpa was very sick and was losing his voice so he could not yell at me and dylan so i diodnt mind i was actually missing my parents and my little sister hmm weird yes i no but i also missed my friends which i still havent seen most of them yet but enentually i will hmmm i go to my dads tomorrow fun fun well ill wrie l8r :P
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next few dayz.....

* This journal entry is going to be for the next couple of dayz cause my dads parents are coming out to town they will stay a couple of dayz then they will take me and my bor ha to Iowa totally boring but i get too see family but yeah i dont know 4 sure if this will be my last entry 4 a while but i am hoping not but yeah well tomorrow is going to e G-A-y:) i have to go to therapy(my therapist is cool)then cum home pack and go shopping with the MOM thts it
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