Complications
Listening to: TV Rock Radio

Feeling: teenagery

Bipolar soul

My emotions a whirlwind of confusion and fury

Abstruse situations come from all sides

Pushing and pulling my mind into senseless oblivion

Burning and bending my thoughts into a stew of insanity

Choking and freeing my emotions until I can no longer feel my heartbeat

I finally feel loved

At the expense of another

I gain a new friend

At the cost of the other

And so I am stuck here

Decisions, decisions

I cannot see through this

Confusing new visions

My words start to flow

With a rhyme and a reason

But I'm so aloof

I've been caught out of season

Freeing myself from the constraints of the written word

I breathe

Remembering

I am loved

I matter

I am beautiful

I am a beautiful mistake.

I flounder

Through my joy

I wander

Aimless

Through fields of bitter sorrow

And yellow flowers

Peacefully

I sit alone

Wishing for others

To bring the chaos

In the confusion

I silently pray

Only for time away from the crowds

My soul

A contradiction

Confused

Where all is perfectly clear

And understanding the unknown

A walking contradiction

I am.

Neat rhyme schemes

Rhythmic perfection

Blowing in the wind

As I say goodnight

To this world

Of perfect imperfection

And the clarity of it's confusion.

Well, I had to conclude that last one abruptly...

My grandma got home...

Anyway, this is all about how great the bipolar confusion of being me as a teenager is. So joy to the world.

It's also kind of about this guy I have a mutual crush on, who is going out with a girl I hope to become better friends with, and is about to break up with her... So I gotta choose: go out with dream guy, or befriend dream girl...

Well, I just don't know.

Doesn't matter though.

I'll probably get kicked out and have to move in with my mom pretty soon anyway.

I like this though. And although I say I hate myself for stealing her boyfriend, I really don't... It's weird, and I hate myself for not hating myself.

Anyway, blarghedy blargh blargh...

:)

I like these mixed up emotions. Funner than all hell.

Goodnight everyone.

~ Beth

272 hit(s) [click this]  
Comments
i read it, im commenting. sorry it takes FOREVER for me to comment. im such a distracted loser, im also more active on LJ my s/n there is

at_the_center

have i told you your beautiful lately?
your soul shines.
[silentears]
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221 post(s)