Mushy boyfriend bs session
Listening to: Weird-ass club mix in my head
Feeling: blotto

Casey's hair sticks up, and it's really pretty.

I want to see him. He might help all this badness to go away, or at least let me forget about it for a while. I can't believe how sweet he is. I'd almost forgotten his shining personality, his beautiful smile, his way of looking at me and making me feel safe.

I think Joey saved my life.

I think I would have taken that morphine if I didn't have Casey to live for. After all, Morgan could kill herself and come with me. We'd be together in our deaths. And it would stop there.

But I couldn't kill Casey. I couldn't let him be sad, not even for one minute. Crap, I sound like one of those fucking idiots, but that's ok.

I'm beginning to disgust myself.

Also, I already disgust myself. At Ms. Freedman's retirement party I had 5 slices of pizza, then came home and had another 3. And I've had a shitload of pop. And I just plain make myself sick.

I really need to stop the cutting. I don't do it as a hobby or for any reason, it's just... there.

Anyway, I lost the razorblade, and everyone tells me not to. Which is probably why I tried it in the first place...

Anyway, I really wish my grandma would get a clue. She keeps insisting that I'm not depressed, and that she'll give me something to be depressed about... She talks to me like she did when I was four: "STOP FUCKING CRYING! I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT, YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

I'm gonna die.

Die die die die die die die die die die.

Also, I will fail English. It's become a mathematical impossibility for me to pass.

I think.

Anyway, I think I'm going to give up on that one.

Oh well, living was fun while it lasted...

(Don't mind me, I always get over-dramatic when grades are coming up)

~ Beth

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Comments
oh god my grandma was horrible today, and its my birthday. shes like "i bet god doesnt like you, i mean just look at you" im like. "thanks ._." shes the same way about the depressed thing. i really need to stop cutting too. hahaha. well..umm...i hope you pass :)

sorry im brain dead right now. oh and its good to eat. yum yum. i should do it at least once a day but i tend to forget
[silentears]
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Mmm, Disturbed
Hi Joey...........or whoever
This time I think it could be...
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Eight Days Gone Is Good
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Heart
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I've been upgraded
...
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Eventful Sunday
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Boys Are Cute but Girls are...
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I am Stalker Girl
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Pathetic am I?
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...
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Nintendo Fusion tour rocks.
Dannie is a Sexie Pixie
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Two Important Things
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Fuckin' A
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BUMBER MOTHER FUCKING SHOOT
Watching the Milk get Warm
Teens - this is a call to...
I'm losing substance...
HaHa!
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A lot has happened in the...
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HOLY SHIT IT'S A QUIZ
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No One Cares
BRAIN TRANSPLANT! WHOO!
Mushy boyfriend bs session
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*tears*
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For Jacqueline (1807)
Complications
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I AM THE WALRUS
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Holy Inspiration.
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...
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Poem, Draft # 326
Dammit
Driftwood...
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Can't Wait to Die
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32 is the evil number
Cut Off
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I spell knife knofe.
My Shoulder Itches
I don't update enough
Last few days...
Mweef
*tear*
Grrf
Fssshhh.
What the Hell?!
Purely A Quote
221 post(s)