Felt Like Updating...
Listening to: Smile Empty Soul - I Want My Life
Feeling: sane

Well, I wanted to update since I haven't in just about forever... But sitdiary's not working. Of course. Anyway...

My first babysitting Friday was today. I haven't talked to Casey since Wednesday, he called me and I didn't call him back because of my stupid fear of calling the wrong house and didn't get up the balls to call his mom's house until it was too late... So now I feel like shit. I treat him like shit, and he's not. When did I turn into such an asshole? I suppose I'm just self-hating a bit... And I'm lonely and want to talk to him. How fucking selfish can I get? If I called right now I'd probably just get us both in trouble - it's ten minutes after ten... I'm not supposed to be on the computer, but fuck it, I'm going to write my damn diary entry.

Listening to Smile Empty Soul's songs "I Want My Life" and "This Is War" repeatedly is helping me a bit... These songs both make me cry, for a lot of reasons, and I feel like crying, also for a lot of reasons... It's weird...

I hate how I'm always the last to know about things. I see these awesome gifs in people's diaries, and have no idea where the words came from, and then I hear the damned songs...

If there was just one thing I could ask of the people in the world (other than to learn how to love and forget how to hate - thank you Ozzy), it would be to keep me informed of the new good music in the world.

Well, not really. That's just something I hope for from my friends. From everyone, a bit of peace, love, and empathy wouldn't hurt.

My holy trinity could be beaten up by your holy trinity. So ha.

~ Liz

Yeah, I feel like Liz tonight. I have no idea why. Probably because I want to shed the bullshit for a moment and let people see through to the jackass that I am. I am really starting to hate myself for what I'm doing to Casey. Every time I see some guy and think "he's hot" I slap myself... Well not really but I should. I want to be perfect for him, but I'm not. And he's so good. I don't deserve this.

Think I'm going depressive again? 'Cause that would be awesome... ;_; I kinda missed it.

I love you all, and goodnight.

~ end 10:19 pm

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Comments
im sorry things are getting rough, haha. im depressed too :( -poke- i was about to wonder if you were ever going to update again!

i mees yoo
[silentears]
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My dead end
Keep it to yourself
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I want to cry
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Remind me to recommend this
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No-go on the cloves :(
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Ngwawgh
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I can't take this.
Whee, Killswitch...
It helps me breathe when I...
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No more faith in humanity
Glaaaarg
Today
Horus the Chorus
mommy's alright, daddy's...
Figured I might as well post...
I feel unwanted.
notes to self
fuuuuuuck (lunchtime)
Mmm, Disturbed
Hi Joey...........or whoever
This time I think it could be...
funny how you return to old...
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Notes to Self
Decade Day.
Tears from Australia
pencil erasers and football...
*clears throat*
cucarachbe?
timetimetime
Fizzy Love
Tell Me This Is All...
Bookworm
Re: Katrinam
I'd thought... but only a...
It seems that way, doesn't it?
No One Understands
More love for the school...
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I'm...
Haha, yey
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Ugh
Old Scars Still Bleed??
Impaled by sense
Yeah...
End Transmission
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B&S
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my response to the anonymous...
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Boys Make Me Feel Good About...
I know you all have it
Show me what this life is all...
Eight Days Gone Is Good
Won't you dance with me?
Thought I'd something more to...
Inhale
I had a thought but then I...
Heart
I'm only gonna say this...
Embarking on another...
Nolan = Cute Boy ^_^ (but...
Turtles
Yeah. Emo Rant Time.
Today
I've been upgraded
...
A Story I made up talking to...
Still emo after all these...
I'm Reposting A Quiz
I hate everyone
Parents, Police, and other...
Eventful Sunday
Let's Play Master And Servant...
Boys Are Cute but Girls are...
Fukker
filler entry
Oh Shit, Perhaps?
My Two Cents You'll Never Get
DRUGS ARE BAD
I am Stalker Girl
Blind Date
All my anger, all my pain,...
blahbastardblah
Pathetic am I?
Meh
private entry...
Private entry...
Drowning in my shit
...
Empty throat lump
lost verbal ability
Well then
I miss my watch
Nintendo Fusion tour rocks.
Dannie is a Sexie Pixie
Another day could never be as...
Two Important Things
...
Fuckin' A
actual diary entry unlike...
No Smoking.
BUMBER MOTHER FUCKING SHOOT
Watching the Milk get Warm
Teens - this is a call to...
I'm losing substance...
HaHa!
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Some things I can't explain...
A lot has happened in the...
Quiz, part 2
Vague but true
HOLY SHIT IT'S A QUIZ
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I post lyrics, for once
A World Shaded In Dark Blue
Felt Like Updating...
Secrets in my garden shed...
No One Cares
BRAIN TRANSPLANT! WHOO!
Mushy boyfriend bs session
My new diary...
See top left
*tears*
despondence...
For Jacqueline (1807)
Complications
Hurt By The Cold
Sleep Deprivation
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Back To Old Defaults
Birthday Party
Quest to find inner peace...
I AM THE WALRUS
Happy
As if my own problems weren't...
Alone and Overburdened
I love how these things just...
Holy Inspiration.
Was going to post a quiz, but...
...
The Way I Write
I hate what I am
Night Time
Quiz Type Thing
My Clicker Isn't Working
Poem, Draft # 326
Dammit
Driftwood...
My Poetry
Nooses, knives, and other...
My Own Fault
Registration...
Quizzes
Music
New Layout...
Can't Wait to Die
HOLY FLAMING FUCK
32 is the evil number
Cut Off
Hellish Night
I spell knife knofe.
My Shoulder Itches
I don't update enough
Last few days...
Mweef
*tear*
Grrf
Fssshhh.
What the Hell?!
Purely A Quote
221 post(s)