well, i just woke up i have to go to work soon my usual saturday morning. i haven't written an entry in exactly 1 month i dont know why maybe i'm just being lazy lately. brad broke my bed. so im currently on my matress, located on the floor. its real fun =D i currently have four fish illidan, roland, francois, and hadrienne. they're amazing, and cuteys. i love fishiesss. i went to new york city for the first time on monday it was pretty amazing. you can click here if you want to see the pics, ok? on wednesday we had an ecology field trip it was pretty fun me billie and emilie got freakyyy I CAN GET MY LICENSE ON FRIDAY!! im so flippin excited, you dont even know. aghhh!!! alright, i gotta leave for work in 20 minutes so i better get dressed =D ilu all.♥
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vlaad died today. the fish that brad dropped on the floor. i guess he got ick, or something?? i didnt know it at first. i thought some of the fish in the tank at the store that he was in just had some white spots and that was normal i didnt know it wasnt until vlaad started getting whiter by the day and then he went paralyzed on his one side so i had to put him in his own little bowl because he kept getting sucked into the filter and then blasted out into the side of the tank... and he died alone. in his bowl. =( im a horrible mother. i dont deserve to live =( brad stayed for 2 hours and luvd me while i whimpered/hated life. and yeah. so i love him. ♥
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today was amazing. me and brad hung out he brought me presents a care bear and a talking huge R2D2 that made my life.♥ then we went to lyndseys to visit her for her birthday. then me, her, brad, and max all went to see Stay Alive in Dickson City. after that we went shopping everywhere i bought a fishtank and two fish at PetSmart im so excited!! i love fish they're names are Jessebelle and Vlaad. and they're my life. Stay Alive was a cute movie. I liked it. we also went to boarders for like 19219 hours and i found this amazing book called Death Scenes and it was all these crime scene photos i was happyyy with it. but it was $20. and yeah. everything hates me. i was broke. i even had to borrow $5 from lyndsey. on HER birthday. on tuesday me and lynds are going back down there we're going to Best Buy so she can get the new Atreyu CD so that should be fun♥ we have good times. ok, well its 10. and im dead. and im getting sick =( so i'll write back here [hopefully] soon i've missed you all♥ oh, and a thought that upsets me; if my mom hadnt been slow and waited forever to get my phyiscal done i could've gotten my license tomorrow =( ohhh i fear may 5th will never come...
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wow its been a while. im sitting here watching freddy vs jason and feeling pretty sad. i dunno, i was supposed to spend the night with brad and i like made him dinner and stuff and i guess he hurt his ankle so he just went home but like, he didnt even call me or anything so i just sat here waiting for 3 hours like an idiot. i know its not his fault he got hurt at practice or anything it still just kinda sucked for me, thats all. so yeah. hi everyone.
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alright. so i have a little story to tell. theres this boy im dating his name is brad. and yes, i love him. i do. soulmate?? most likely. im prettyyy happy right now. happier than i have been in long time. and its because of him. thats how amazing he is. yupp. i know. you're jealous. you should be. ohhh boy.♥ and i totally said Crash was amazing in my last entry and waddya know?? it wins best picture of the year. uhhh bitches uhhhh. i got a 103 out of 104 on my english speech that i wrote that day. that made me happy i think brosious just loves me because he spends weekends at hotels with my boyfriend?? that pretty much explains it. i wish i didnt mess things up with my friends so much. that'd be pretty cool... i'm going to elk mountain to ski on friday its the last ski club trip of this school year it makes me saddd but logans going, and i think ben is? so all my jr high bffs will be there and it will be mucho gracias funnn im excited for that =) my [lyndseys] mom made no bakes ohhh geezzz life makes me happy on days like these. so yeah. i cant think of anything else to say. ily all??
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Feeling: masochistic
i cleaned my room its so NICE and shiny. im spending the day with brad tomorrow. alone. we'll see how that goes... lynds was supposed to come over but she didnt. so that sucks. Crash is one of the best movies that ive ever seen. rent it. or be sorry. kthx. ♥you all.
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Feeling: charmed
its wednesday night tomorrow we have a 3 hour day which will probably get cancelled now because we're supposed to get snow?? but brads coming over and i love his sweet nectar♥ so either way IM A WINNER tonight i went to tunkhannock i got new eyeliner and lipgloss at eckard along with this SWEET purple dinosaur its supposed to be an easter basket i guess?? but its a purple brontasaurus [my favorite] with cute polka dots all over it and then theres a dent that makes a basket in his back and hes stuffed so im keeping him on my bed && holding my remotes since i always loose them TOO FREAKING CUTE. then at fashion bug i got an awesomeee pair of white sunglasses with cute tiny rainbow rhinestones on the sides. adorableee. if i take a pic i'll put it up =) schools boring. i got scheduled on monday?? i think. here are the classes i was hoping to take: AP History AP English CP Chemistry Trigonometry Painting and Drawing Spanish III Anatomy and Psychology. of course, my class had to be pretty much THE LAST FREAKING SOPHOMORE HOMEROOM to get called down there. naturally. so the anatomy class was filled up but they had enough interest to open up a second period of it, so i got in after all which made me soo happy you definitley need anatomy to be a coroner. then painting and drawing was all filled up so i decided to take graphics, which ive always wanted to be in but NATURALLY graphics and AP English are in the same period; so i had to give up AP English in order to take Graphics. so; in conclusion everything worked out except im not in art, im in graphics and im in CP english, not AP. i only have 5 study halls next year too which kinda sucks since everyone else has 8. but i only need to get 4 credits my senior year and that im definitely excited about. alright, im done talking about scheduling. im soo tired and my skins all dry since i had to shave for swimming tomorrow well, and brad of course because he picks on me if my legs are prickly =( OK OK. goodnight guys. love you♥
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i just got my futon its prettyyy cute i need to go to wal*mart now and get it some pillows and maybe some more for my bed, too. never enough pillows♥ last night me brad lyndsey and max all hung out at my house we had funnn we watched porn together hahahha and then we watched some Constantine and some wrestling we were home alone so we just went crazy haha ....not sexual crazy. jesus christ, pervs. i hope brads coming over today again i dont know if he is or not; he wants to say home all day and play WoW ...thats all he does with his life hahhaa IM FORCING HIM INTO CIVILIZATION. ive had a really bad headache the past few days. i dont know why, it sucks. hopefully it will go away =P hmmmm what else. nothing, i guess. i have to figure out what im going to do for my make up speech in english. i need to do something original its just how i am. alright, wellll im going to sit here. do nothing. maybe bounce from my bed to the futon. yeahhhh. love you all♥
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brad and brady came and saw me again tonight they come pretty much everytime brad has forensics its nice hanging out with them even if its only for like a half hour =P tomorrow im going out with lyndseyy im exicted i havent seen her in a long time that WHORE. trying to escape me =D aw, brad just mentioned something about saturday so i guess hes coming over later on hopefully we can rent waiting since last weekend the movie place didnt HAVE IT ohh free movie mania. you're lucky i stay loyal... ♥ *5 minutes later* CHLOE'S AT MY DAMN WINDOW AGAIN WITH HER RETARDED MEOW I WISH THE WHORE WOULD TAKE A HINT ALREADY GOSH.
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i went back to school today wasnt that fun except me and des got to teach lukeyy how to swim i love that little porkchop. its wednesday. theres nothing on tv tonight. so ive been sitting here. ya.. good times. im going to the mall with lynds friday that should be funnn i love her♥ i changed my layout PIKACHUUU! i should be doing 10 lbs of makeup work buttt i really dont feel like it. my comic belt fell apart today it was only $2, i knew its time was coming =( it was still a sad day for me. well, not much to say i guess. ♥loveyouall.
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im sick. real sick. did i mention im sick?? my insides are having a civil war and unfortunately my orifice is the casualty =( all i do is stay at home watch grey's anatomy run to the bathroom come back watch some more grey's anatomy eat a bite of ramen run to the bathroom watch some more grey's anatomy ETC. the demon cat keeps coming to my window and whining and whining and whining ..... woe is me. i miss brad. hes cute. i hope he visits me tonight; that'd be nice. i think he will even if its for 5 minutes. hes nice like that. mmk. back to grey's. love you all.♥
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brad came over last night we had so much fun hes so cute. we're together now so thats excitinggg =) i hope it works out. i like him a lot.♥ billie and treg broke up. its sad, but i just want her happy plus now she can hang out with me more since he was kinda weird about that. and i love my girlfranddd♥ shes my fav. okk well moms home with chinese. i'll write back eventually. love you guys♥ AND KRISTY'S LOLLIPOPS!! those things are damn fine.
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Listening to: stellastarr*- My CoCo
Feeling: genki
wow. so much going on. i went to killington last weekend and i had a huge panic attack and cried for like four hours and i guess everyones been talking about me because of it... whatever. i hate life. kayla likes a boy i dont know where it came from. but yeah. =) mmmmmm♥
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well this is my first entry since Christmas which means my first entry on my LAPTOP. i named her caymen♥. My baby is so gorgeoussss. Christmas was good. lots of fun, got pretty much everything that i'd asked for. the day after christmas me marissa dan and ben got in a car accident it was really bad we flipped over and rolled down a hill its amazing that we only got a couple scratches its a good thing i was wearing my seatbelt i never used to not until brooke died... i'm fine though. don't worryyy the sucky thing was i was supposed to go to a Syracuse game that night with Emily and Lyndsey but i was so sore and stuff i couldn't bring myself to go but i guess Emilie went in my place so that worked out fine. on wednesday evening my stepgrandma died i didnt really get along with her too well she always seemed kinda snobby but it was still sad... mom went to the funeral down in Easton. i didn't go. funerals arent my thing. on thursday dan's mom invited us over. so me and marissa spent the night there it was funnn we watched the movies War of the Worlds and The Island i'd never seen either of them but they were both reallyyyy gooooood and yesterday, when i went back to marissas so her mom could bring me home and we watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith we only got about 1/2 way through it but it was really good as well i didnt really have an undying urge to see it but its a cute movie so far =D i know this entry may seem kinda insensitive going from getting in a car crash to my stepgrandma dying to what movies i watched this weekend. i just dont really wanna talk about it anymore... my brain is le tired. plus its only 8 in the morning i have to get up for work. i have to call marissa in a bit too i was supposed to go over there today yesterday they invited me but i forgot that i'd already told Lyndsey i'd go with her to her aunts plus i havent seen Lynds in two weeks so our time has comeeee. i feel bad for leaving Marissa alone but i'm sure she won't be that girls social like woah. hmmmm what else. oh its taken me all week but i've almost got my whole CD collection uploaded onto Caymen seriously, i had no clue how long it would take hahahha i spent like a whole day on it and only got through like 10 letters of the alphabet ....all my Cds arent in alphabetical order.... *eyes dart from side to side* alright, well i accidently slept in until 7:30 this morning. my alarm went off but i had the volume turned to zero. smooth kayla. luckily since the accident i havent been able to sleep that well, i wake up every hour or so. sooo at 7:27, the mood struck anddd i realized i should be listening to the musical bliss of a hardcore group screaming at me to haul my ass. ehhhhh. i'm falling apart. i think im gonna go make me some waffles. ohhh sweet waffles.♥♥♥
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HOLY CRAP TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS EVE♥ i cant wait to get my laptop this computer is getting crappier by the day... ben got me a bob marley poster for christmas at first i was kinda upset because i thought he knew nothing about me and thought i was like some stoner chick or something but then when i got home and looked at it its flipping HILARIOUS, and i realized that anything that random means the kid does care. so that made me excited =) max got me this really cute whale its got like a sailor hat on and its names Captain hahah but i like it. and he finally gave my Starting Line CD back they've only come out with 3 new albums SINCE THEN that titty. oh, and he FINALLY gave me the poster that he got me when he was on summer vacation hahah its so amazing its got like every letter of the alpabet and each one has a little cartoon with a kid dying hahha the one is like B is for Bertin who was mauled by bears. stuff like that its so me. i love it so muchhhh♥ oh! and emily madrak made me an ornament with my name on it. she's so sweeeeeettt and its red (my favorite color) AND! she left the glue on mine so it looks like its bleeding she knows me so well I LOVE MY BABYYYY!! christmas vacation has officially started so thats a plus. im kinda bored and feel kinda shitty but at least its better than being bored&shitty at school hahah oh! and yesterday me lynds and brittany ramey went around to pass out cards for SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) and we had to go to the elementary and on our list was Mrs. Copes, Ben and Dan's mom and i've been there a few times and stuff but i haven't seen her since i dyed my hair black so i went in and was chatting up a storm and she acted like she kinda knew who i was but she wasn't sure. and im like HELLO LADY IM MARRYING YOUR SON!??! butttt whatever. i might go over this weekend with marissa i guess she invited me?? thats what marissa said. she said she "wanted me to come over and have dinner" hopefully she'll remember me when i show up at her house hahaha brittany mowry called me a couple nights ago to wish me a merry christmas i love when brittany calls, even though i hate the phone i just miss her so much sometimes i found out she has MSN though so hopefully i'll get to talk to her on there soon her mom won't let her download AIM or some crap. i dunnooo but we were talking about Brooke and how much we miss her and how its like we have to take advantage of life because we don't wan't brooke's death to be a weaste, you know? and i really want to go visit brooke's grave its her first christmas in there, and i don't want her to spend it alone... the only problem is that it's not marked and i didnt get to go to the funeral so i dont know which grave is hers brittany said shes going to try and go so if she does she'll try and bring me along i want derek to take me up there because derek's the one whos been there for me the most through everything with Brooke. i know hes an ass sometimes, and most females hate him, but i dont know. me and him just get along and i think i'd feel better if he went with me. oh a happier note, i hope everyone has a great christmas. or hanukkah or kwanzaa or whatever you believe in ♥ i'll miss you all over break =( [p.s.] i saw cry_wolf today. omfg, it is AMAZING. buy it if you can. and 40 year old virgin is really funny too, so check that one out as well =) P.S.S lmao. i just realized that i had my diary set to friends only and then to private as well, so no one could read it. ...and i wondered why i didnt get any comments... it should be fixed now, so go back and read my last entry if you want im sooo sorry hahaha i love you guys♥
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this weekend was amazing. friday we had a snow day, which was good and gave me time to clean up the house for estrogen evening, which was on saturday. i have never connected so much with a group of girls. i felt so comfortable with all of them, like we've been sisters always. i dont know how i feel alone sometimes when i have friends as great as they are... i'm one of the luckiest people alive when it comes to friends♥ everyone got me such cute presents, too here's the list: billie: a stuffed penguin a jewelry kit hair clips mini nail polish/file cute christmas tree tin flarp!! [okkk... how much does billie know me. first of all, i love the penguin and i named it Ben... *shame* second of all, the hair clips have POLKA DOTS my favorite things! the flarp is sooo funny, its gooey stuff and when you finger it it makes fart noises hahaha AND! making jewelry is my favorite thing to do in the world.] i love you bilieee!! thank you my twin♥ im so glad you finally came to my house and kept me company on the love seat im glad we're such good friends now you make my days full of love and wetness =) des: a cute bag that looks like a belt a care bare blanket a necklace [aww i love desss. i cant wait to use the blanket in ski club and the necklace is soo meeee its got a little cassette tape and then a little pink heart and it matches the bracelet marissa got me] i lovee ittt. des you're my nanny FOREVER♥ im so glad you finally came over! emily: cute penguin pj's a clementine orange [hahaha one of my favorite spanish words is naranja anddd the pjs are so cute and warm. they're purple with little wintery penguins omggg] thank you emilyyy i love you!! you're my favorite secret santa ever *hugs* lyndsey: a christmas pen a singing stocking cute ribbons tampon instructions(??) horror movie hits CD a santa hat [original]night of the living dead DVD [i LOVE old horror films and the santa hat says "ho ho ho" because she thinks im such a WHORE] you little biotch. i love you though. so much, best friends ALWAYS♥ emilie: a killington picture frame [she made the picture frame HERSELF, its so cuteee and i cant wait until we go to Vermont in February and i get a picture that i can put in it♥] i love you so much emilieee!! you know i love things you do with your own hands *wink* marissa: light up earrings a can of cashews surprise burger king slushie emo furby [omgg the earrings are so me they're green christmas bulbs and when you turn them they flash lmao everyone was so jealous when i wore themmmm and there's this dane cook joke [we love him] where he launches a chasew off his erection and into his mouth..... it sounds bad but its soo funnyyy and we always laugh about it hahaha] thank you marissa!!! i love youuuu i'm so glad you surprise me on your way home from workkk do it again sometimeee ok??♥ and from my sister: kara a teal old navy fleece throw blanket a miami university hoodie [no one knows why she got me the miami hoodie, i dont really like them that much, but hey- its a cute thought i guess i like them now?? hahhaa] i love my sisterrr♥ and from the satan my family considers blood related: kathleen: chocolate coconut scented shower set [i dont even like the smell of coconut.] thx?? hahahaa ok. now that thats out of the way. ben got me a christmas present. im so excited. but nervuos. because i dont know if he'll like what i got him i hope he does marissa helped me pick it out and she spends a lot of time with him its this cute little stuffed Stan from South Park [he's jewish hehe] dressed up as a reindeer and you can use it as an ornament or just cuddle with it i guess hahaa i want to go to wal mart or something and get him something else. i wrote him a poem, and i made him a few things but i dont know if im giving him them. i dont want to scare the kid *confizzled* max said he got me something too. so i wonder what that one is =/ i kinda miss him lately, i dont know what to do. because im not sure if im missing him or im just missing being loved, or what it is. but i didnt get him anything so now i feel bad... but i got him Mrs. Captain Oats, the best christmas present ever. so i guess he still owes me from that? *im lying to myself* kathleen is being a real bithc. today i stayed home from school partially to do my world cultures project, but mostly because i kept throwing up last night like i would puke up stuff in my mouth and then just swallow it back down. which is grossss and i hate myself hahahha i dont know. but of COURSE just because i stayed home now she is too and shes just being a BITCH shes like OMG SHUT UP GOTH YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, ATHEIST YOU DONT BELIEVE IN HIM YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL [x42] WHY DO YOU EVEN CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS YOU DONT BELIEVE IN JESUS. YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL [x40] i mean seriously. she thinks just from seeing the chart on my myspace that she has a CLUE about my life kathleen thinks shes such a strict christian from going to church once in her life. then why the hell is she underage drinking, swearing, and having premarital sex?? she has no right to judge me, or what my beliefs are/arent. she doesnt even know what being atheist means. its not that i dont believe in god/the devil. its that i just dont believe in much of anything... im apathetic when it comes to religion. if there is a god, so be it. i dont think he'd hate me for being myself i'm not a bad person. i dont intentionally hurt others. and if there isn't a god, so be it. i'll spend my life being eaten away by insects buried six feet in the ground. at least when i was alive, i enjoyed it and didnt conform to rules that didnt make me any better/worse of a person in the end. and another thing,im NOT goth. she doesnt even know what goth is. 3/4 of the people who throw the word around dont even know what it means. especially 12 year old girls who call themselves goth for owning a GC shirt. goth is a whole culture. yes, part of it invovles dress, but its so much more than that. just because my hair is black and most of my clothes are, doesnt make me goth, and doesnt mean that im pretending to be. i respect goths, i get them and their lifestyle but im not one of them, and dont label me. ughhh i feel so horrible. christmas is what?? 5 days away. and look at me, seriously. i feel like im in the middle of the depression all of a sudden... i think maybe im getting too used to my medicine that or maybe everyone else is just being more judgemental/vocal. i dont know anymore. i just wish people would get lives, and stop obsessing over everyone elses... oh, and i set my diary to private. why, you ask??? i dont need to be judged anymore, and im pretty sure the people who are currently on my friends list, [hopefully] know me well enough not to♥ [EDIT!] im going through all my old pictures and uploading them to photobucket for when i get my laptop, and i found some cute ones of me back in the day: makes me miss being blonde awww my favorite♥ why the crap do i sit in laundry baskets? and, finally, my dog slipping me the tongue:
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well i have no clue how that last entry got there. buttt it did. and i am le sorry to everyone who tried to read it hahahaha well, shortly after writing the lamest entry ever known to myspace blog history, here i am. maybe i should post that on here. but its so lame i dont know if i want you guys to see it hahahaha even though you could just go to my myspace and look at it anyway... whateva. speaking of myspace, robbie, take a new pic i still have that one with half of your bloody face up in my "who i'd like to meet" section hahaha alright well i spent all of my cash at wal*mart a couple nights ago but i am officially done christmas shopping i didnt get my dad anything though but whatever. he never likes what i get him anyway. he just leaves it laying around until i eventually just end up keeping it for myself... today was officially the first Elk Lake School District snow day of the year. we got like 8 inches, its amazing they just plowed our road like 10 minutes ago and its 10 in the morning haha i kinda want to go run around outside but its not that fun when you're alone maybe i'll let my dogs out and make a snowlady with them or something that'd be le fun. not as fun as making one on elk mountain with the eighth grade love of my life... but fun nonetheless. im pretty excited for estrogen night with some of the girls next weekend i hope its really fun i should probably clean my room today. cleaning && snowladys wh00t wh00t! i'll write in here soon [i think] i love you all, 16 days until christmas =)
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