thought five/secret seventeen.

Listening to: Yellowcard
I hate myself, with a burning passion. If I could go back in the past with what I know now I would not do half the things I did. If I knew what I was going to be like today a few years back I would have stopped myself. Honestly I'm a piece of fucking shit and shouldn't be worth anything to anyone. I should have never gotten involved with the people that I did. I don't know what to even say besides I hate myself I honestly do. I hate the fucking mistakes I made. I hate the reasons why I fucked over the people I did. I hate everything I have done and everything I will do. I just need to get out of here to a place where there is no one I know, to start over and fresh, to be the person I'm suppose to be and not be the person who everyone has made me...
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thought four.

Listening to: Jimi Hendrix
I think that many people have a different perspective on love. But when it starts to get obnoxious and they're telling people what love is and what its not then it's too much. Can't you just let people be happy, just for a moment? A little tiny fraction of the rest of their lives? It won't kill them many people fall in and out of love, many stay in love after all has past, but judging them because they don't do the 'accepted' choice to do after a break up is just plain mean. Maybe they just want to forget all about them not because they never loved them but because it hurts to much to think about them and what should have, would have, or could have happened. I don't want someone to tell me that I was never in love or I'm not in love still just because I'm not crying in school or I'm talking to other guys. I could be crying at home or before I go to sleep, no one will ever know and just because I talk to other guys in school doesn't mean I talk to them on my spare time. Love is love.
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thought three.

So is it true that you dream about the person you were thinking about before you go to sleep? I don't believe that as much as I believe that if someone's in your dream thats means they're dreaming about you. But that makes no sense whatsoever because if they're dreaming about you that means you're dreaming about them so which is it? Who could have possibly dreamed first?
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secret twelve.

Listening to: Lady Gaga
This is going to sound cliche and stuff. But I'm not dating anyone anymore because the only person I want to be with is him and since I'm hurting him I can't be with him. I'm in love with him and when he realizes it's for the best I hope he won't hate me anymore.
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