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It's been forever since I've updated this! I wonder if anyone checks this anymore? Anyways, a lot has happened since I last updated this. For one thing, I now have a boyfriend and it's not Tyler. It's Greg. The nice part about this, he's actually interested in me, and he's been good to me. He's very positive and optimistic, I really benefit from hanging around this kind of person. He believes in me, and he believes in himself - that's refreshing in some ways when compared to some of the friendships I've had over the years - as my mom puts it "you've had lots of friends that you were good for, but not very many that were good for you." Other people's attitudes really off on me for some reason, so I have to be careful. Greg wants me to join him in Washington for graduate school next year, I'm not sure if I will or not though - if I had to decide today I would though. This brings me to the biggest downside to this relationship - it's long distance (though I've seen longer distance relationships more or less work out...). I do miss him, but sometimes I worry that I don't feel as passionate about this as I ought to. Maybe I'm just afraid of getting too attached to people - but we'll see. This year is going to be very interesting, I have a boyfriend, I'm a senior, and I'm IWA president - who'd a thought I'd ever be president of anything back in high school and below? Okay, some of my middle school teachers had a lot of faith in me, but at the time I certainly didn't. I guess, that's something I need to work on. I also need to get over my over the top social phobias, it can be so difficult just to initiate things with people sometimes. I also need to make sure the IMA doesn't show IWA up on preparedness - this means I need to stop waiting for my council to be formed and start planning with our without them!

Wish me luck! Hope you're all well!

~Amyelk Out

2079 hit(s) (3 comments) | Remember Me  
Feeling: silly

I can see him now. Finally. Two and a half months to go. We can do it.

School is over, thank god. Now it just means more work. blech.


farmer's market today. Hooray. not hooray for going by myself. not hooray for friends ditching me. hooray for daddy visiting. hooray for seeing my babe. not hooray for burning my dinner.

its been a wishy-washy day.


how pointless. I should find my intelligence somewhere, must've dropped it along the way.

6954 hit(s) (0 comments) | do you?  
morning ducks

we know somethings that are, and somethings that aren't. the most enchanting things are somewhere inbetween.

serenity is the sound of ducks beating their wings against fresh morning air.

it is the light of dawn that makes my room glow and sparkle while im still half asleep.

and i find it in the eyes of the lamb that nuzzles my hand and bleats while discovering new things.

887 hit(s) (0 comments) | Lyric Rampage  
nano, snow, work, fifa


NaNoWriMo is over, and I won again this year.  The resulting partial manuscript is...underwhelming, to say the least.  But I think there are some bits that I would be able to expand upon and use in the event of me actually sitting down and editing the thing into a piece of work.  I just wanted to win something.

I was going to use this entry to talk about Penelope and how she's growing, but I'll do that next time.  Right now, I just want to mention that it's snowing outside.  A very very wet and sloshy snow, so it's not really snow at all, but Patrick's convinced that later today we'll be able to go outside and build a seven foot snowman and have a snowball fight.  Oh, the beauty of an optimistic child.

Meanwhile, the hotel is in the process of being sold to UHV so that they can turn it into a dormitory for their newly-expanded four year program.  I saw the article in the paper yesterday, and I was depressed all day long.  When I went in, no one really knew what was going to happen to all of us because firstly, they haven't been approved by the state to buy the property, and secondly, no one from the school has talked to us yet.  So that sucks.

But right now, it's sort of snowing and I'm leaving to watch the 2010 Wold Cup draw.  Go USA!  Don't get drawn into a group of death again!

10133 hit(s) (5 comments) | burnination  
New Years, New Goals, New Failures

4:11 Late Friday Afternoon (14 January 2011)


I just wanted somewhere to write something.

For the first time in a long time I have legitimate Resolutions to make for 2011.

2009 was the best year ever. 2010 sucked. 2011...well we'll see.


So. Onwards to the good stuff:

Go to bible study on Tuesdays at 6:30 am.

Work out at least once a week, aerobic training.

Floss, bitch. floss.

In March, return to belly dancing.

Be more organized. I mean, like actually doing homework when it's assigned and not waiting til the last minute.

Show up to work more consistently.

Make friends in classes to create better opportunities for study.

Have more sex.

Listen to more music.

In June, get a fucking papsmear. it's not that fucking scary. Don't be afraid to ask the doctor what you need to do to prepare for your impending pregnancy.

In December (or around there, give or take a couple months. I mean, you can't plan these things to the minute), get pregnant.

3043 hit(s) (0 comments) | Sweet Rhapsody  

Imagine yourself naked. Naked in a glass box suspended 15 feet in the air in an auditorium full of people. The light glaring off your naked skin. The audience completly full. Imagine the laughs of the audience, seeing every weakness, every crinkle in your polished exterior with exceptional clarity; with stark, cruel vividness.


No, really, take a moment. Reread the last paragraph and really put yourself there. Drink every word slowly and imagine every moment drawn out like an eternity.


Imagine yourself completely vulnerable. Every inch of your imperfection visible; every mask removed. Imagine every skeleton in your closet was placed openly before the world. Imagine every terrible act you've ever committed was read aloud on that stage of vulnerability to an audience of the ever judgemental and callous. Imagine, and look into the eyes of those who judge you.


And then think of the once person you could put in that auditorium who would make it all not matter.

593 hit(s) (0 comments) | Dare me to  
Feeling: reflective

This week, Feb 12, was my 5th year anniversary of when I bought my house.  Can't believe I was only 24yrs old, technically.  Turned 25 two months later Apr 2013. 

But I suppose Feb 2018 was the last time I had VDay with a boyfriend, or had a boyfriend period. 5 years since a relationship, since being kissed, since holding hands... 

Jan 2018 marks the 11th anniversary of my career. 

Jan 2018, the Presidents Day holiday, also marks my 3 year anniversary of having my new car. Which is slightly ironic because I was involved in a little fender bender last weekend so now I'm trying to schedule an appointment on the holiday, three years later to the date, to get my car fixed. It wasn't my fault!  She turned left in front me. I veered left and hit her at an angle so I wouldn't totally broadside her or take out her back, or wheel wells and disable her car or cause more damage than necessary.  We weren't going that fast.  No one hurt, cars are functional, minimal damage, and no air bags deployed.  It's all good. 

Mar 2018 is three years without my dog now.

Its been two years without a cavity too!

Oct 2017 marked my 9th anniversary working in this office since 2009. 

And 10 years since I graduated college Dec 2008.  12 years since I graduated HS in June 2006. 

17 years of watching my siblings have children, 15 nieces and nephews I claim as mine. 

11 years I've known Arthur. 

In June 2018, my Hawaii trip marks my 15th major vacation in the last 8 years since 2010, not including reunions. 

In Apr 2018 I'll turn 30 yrs old. 



90 hit(s) (2 comments) | Love, me  
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