in school

hey all i know i havent wrote in here in a while but i just wanted to write down some things that have been going on well my mom and her boyfriend are being assholes as usual he ended up smacking me across the face and shit but thats actually no big deal because he has done worse before.. well i am actually having a good day in school for once except for the fact that i am being so slow today lol... like my friend sarah will say something to me and like 5 mins later i will respond its great.. well i am going to go i will be back on later leave me the love byess
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heyy

whoever you are just keep talking shit becasue it dont bother me so w/e... i dont let myself get caught up with that shit anymore...
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hey whores

hey i dont know who the fuck you are but i didnt say i was the only one with problems so why dont you guys just shut the fuck up this is something for you to take your problems and put them in here and have ppl comment it.. so whatever.. you all can go fuck yourselfs and its pathetic when you have to put your name so i cant know who you are
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fed up

Listening to: no scrubs-tlc
Feeling: pissy
I am fucking fed up with peoples bullshit i dont know why everyone has to run there mouths but it is pretty fucked up.. i dont understand why girls are such bitches and this one girl is going to get her fucking face knocked in.. i fucking hate her and she is a fucking dumb cunt.. i dont fucking care anymore all anyone every really does is try to ruin my life no matter what the fuck is going on.. im gonna go i am to pissed to write anymore leave the comments... Love is the slowest form of suicide
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fuck people

Well i started talking to this really nice guy and shit.. well my ex boyfriend had to start something and now this guy is acting weird.. i dont know i hope he doesnt stop talking to me because of other ppl because he seems like a guy i would date if i had the chance.. i just hope he understands that im not giving up... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!
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OMG my dream came true

Listening to: o-omarion
Feeling: amazed
OMG me and cory are going out this is so great... i mean caleb is a sweet guy it was just hard not being able to see him and me and cory have history and i just cant let that go .. he said he has changed so i am going to give him the benefit of the doubt... and hopefully he dont screw up this time.. because i dont know how i would handle it for a fourth time.. well bbl leave the comments byess
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I am so happy

omg i am so happy he called me this morning and he is so sweet and he is just the greatest thing in the world i mean i am glad that all the bad shit happened to me in my life because he is making up for all of it and he is just like no other guy he is sweet he dont yell at me like most of the guys i have been with he respects me and all this good shit and today we will be together for a month but damn it seemed to go by so quickly... well i got to go ttyl byess
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fuckin a

Feeling: sane
me and caleb broke up last night.. well its more like a break..i am happy tho because he can get his life in order and i hope it works out for him i hope that me and him get back together well i got to go with my mom bbl <3Caleb<3
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Football game!!!!!

Listening to: i have no clue
Feeling: happy
Well yesterday i went to our football game.. i have no idea who we were playing or anything.. or what the score was even.. i was just hanging out with friends and having a good time it was great.. i saw tons of ppl i havent seen in a while or been able to hang out with.. but my b/f didnt go he went to the paupack game.. which was for his school.. i actually had fun yesterday and it felt good to actually go out have fun and have no worries on you at all.. i am going to kick sarah's(my bestfriend) her ex boyfriends ass.. because he broke up with her but he said that he didnt wanna do that to her and that his mom said he had to well come to find out he is going out with this really nasty hoe and shit and she is really upset i dont understand how he could do that to her but w/e.. im gonna go <3comment me<3
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There is Hope

Listening to: if you had my love
Feeling: hardcore
Omg me and tim are talking again like normal ppl were not fighting i guess that is good for now and for any of you knew ppl tim is my ex boyfriend.. if you wanna know more about him just comment me... well bbl
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was up yall

Listening to: make a girl feel
Feeling: affectionate
whats up everyone .. i am just bored as hell.. thinking about some shit and for once its actually good i think lol.. nothing much really happened today.. i really hate my moms boyfriend tho because i just want to be with her sometimes but he ALWAYS has to be around and he is usually an asshole and i hate him most of the time.. i mean he is ok some of the times but usually just an ass... he always has to know what she is doing and i hate it i dont know if i can be in this house with him one more second.. well i will write more later
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Im falling apart

Listening to: We belong together
Feeling: confused
Ok so alot has been going on lately.. i just dont know there is this one guy he wont leave me alone.. and shit and now he is calling me a stupid bitch and stuff... I miss my boyfriend alot and all i wanna do it talk to him and i cant because i guess he isnt allowed on the phone right now... and i dont know i am just so upset anymore and i hate.. i just feel like breaking down and crying but im not going to im stronger then that.. i just feel like i am dying from the inside out and i am just so scared We little knew that morning God was going to call your name In life we love you dearly. In death we'll do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, The day God called you home. You left us beautiful memories. Your love is still our guide: And thought we cannot see you. You are always by our side. Our family chain is broken, And nothing seems the same: But as God calls us one by one, The chain will link again leave me the love and some comments
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Ughhh

Feeling: used
Omg I hate school but i have to go i just hurt this guys feelings today because he wanted to go out with me and we planned on it but then i found someone else and he is nicer and sweeter and everything well the guy asked me today if i was still single and i told him no and he looked like he was gonna cry omg i felt so bad. What else happened today? Nothing that i can really think of.. my child care teacher is the best right now she was gonna make us have this report due tomorrow well she is making it due the next day thank GOD!!!! well me and caleb are doing great.. well i am gonna go for now bbl
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Its taking a turn

Listening to: o-omarion
Feeling: sane
OK i started school today and it was ok... umm i cant even talk to my boyfriend because he is grounded and i blame it on myself... well i got to go i am going to bed i will write more tomorrow
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OMG my dream came true

Feeling: happy
OMG he asked me out YAY this is like the best thing that has happened to me in awhile.. omg i hope me and him are together for a very long time.. i just hope he is serious about this and about me.. alicia and luke are going out and i am happy for them
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Am i dreaming?

Listening to: crossfade-dead skin
Feeling: happy
Omg i am HAPPY yes i said happy... its like been happening for three days now i think. There is this guy and he is all i ever think about i never knew that someone like him could be out there and someone my age even... He is everything i have dreamed of having in a man.. he is caring, sweet, funny and even tho he gets tired and falls asleep on me its all good because i cant get him out of my mind for two seconds anymore its like what the hell was wrong with my life.. or i ask myself if this is normal .. is this a feelign i actually had and i never let it out... well i got to go for now... Im missing you and you know who you are =)
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Fucking kill me now!!!!!!

Listening to: crossfade-cold
Feeling: aggravated
I cant fucking stand ppl anymore.. one of my best friends has cancer in his liver and he may also have a tumer(sp?) and omg if he dies i dont knwo what i am going to do... i cant stand all of this bullshit that life is throwing at me.. i just dont know what to do anymore or where to go to.. i mean everyone says to be strong.. My friend called me today and he told me what was going on with him and that he was at the emergency room and shit and i was like omg and i started crying and then he told me not to cry because he needs me to be strong right now and now everytime i begin to cry i think about him and i cant.. its like he shut me off like from crying.. My ex boyfriend is being such an ass and he is treating me like shit but whats new no one treats me like a person ... i cant say no one but very few ppl do.. and the ones who do cant help me right now.. Well i will bbl... Everytime I follow my heart..it leads me to him..I mean what other explanation is there - Why is it that he is all I can think about ? Why is it that no matter how upset I am..I can just see him and start smiling..Why is it when he smiles at me I get that feeling in my stomach like I never have before..And even when he had broken my heart..and hurt me as much as anyone could ever hurt me ..when he lied to me..I hated him so much ..but why..just tell me why do I still get those feelings in my stomach and smile everytime I hear his voice,name, or anything about him - if you can answer me that I'll tell you why I let him hurt me so much
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i dont know anymore...

Well i dont know i am like punishing myself for something he did.. i dont feel like going anywhere or anything.. i went to my cousins house last night and i came home today because it didnt feel right that i was out having fun and laughing while deep down inside i am so miserable... it bothers me so badly.. i really like him and i would do anything in the world for him and i just wish he knew that i hate his g/f besides the fact and cant stand her she is nasty and ugly and i wish i knew what she had over me i really did. And then his cousin is calling me up and saying all this shit about Cory telling me that he is at his g/fs house and all this other shit that they had sex and just all this stuff it makes me want to punch him in the face and beat the shit out of him.. i just wish i knew where i was going with all of this i wanna know why he had to lie to me about it all why couldnt he just of stayed with her and left me alone.. but the most stupid part out of everything is this is like the third time he has hurt me and if he was to come to me anytime soon and ask me to be with him again i would fall for it... and if you know the song Lovers and Friends-lil john and the eastside boys... that is the song he dedicated to me the night we came back from the fair that was in town..
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