Choppin Wood
Listening to: Adele in the Radio

Well yesterdays was a long day, returned home from work - which is pissing me off lately a lot. At Home my Wife was stressed out with Justus and his friend. Those two are very cheeky together and listen to shit :) So they were duelling each other with wooden swords in the end and they both got hit bad on their fingers. Everythings still in place, the cried, then it was OK.

Sometimes Boys need to be boys, Kristina doesn't understand that. I Guess this is why Yannik (our big one, hes 16 now) is so soft sometimes. I'm a dinosaur, old fashioned and plump mostly. Yannik met me first, when he was 8 so he was mostly raised by his mother. He call's me dad though since some years and i adopted him. He's my kin but well, hes totally into styling and bodygym and stuff like that, not chopping wood. I think thats ok, but sometimes im a bit disappointed, that he is nor more like me. Love him, though.

After some sunny days it's raining again and i realise, that this is getting deeply on my mood. it all mixes up with concerns about money. Im really afraid of not being able to pay the mortgage anymore. Kristina is blowing out the money faster as i can bring it in. Well, luxury problem i guess.

10-15 Years ago i totally was into writing, after reading my old poems i have to say i still like them. And i envy my younger self to have been so expressive. Now i don't have that expression anymore, i got more realistic and used to hush through the routine. I dont linger in the moment anymore, maybe it's because i dont do drugs anymore, who knows. What i really want to do is write a childrens book. I thought about it since i met yannik 8 years ago. But i just dont have the creative strenght to start with it. Too much family business, to much work, to many concerns. I read on the other day, that someone recently wrote here on sitd, that she's always coming back when she feels lonely. I agree to that. I return here often to be lonely, to have my quiet place where i can hear my thoughs and write them down.

 

 

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apples
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