Everythings better with Batman

The Weekend was great. Kristina and I had a good conversation about our meeting and how we feel. We both declared freely, what we are doing wrong in life and how to become better, become more concious.

We had duty on the voluntary fire brigade and greased all hydrants before winter in our village. That was quite a shitty job but has to be done. Im proud of being there now, even though it's only since June. If i can help somebody at one day it will be worth all the work.

Our little one had his girlfriend over for a nitghtover (they are both 4) and we went to the cinema, watched the ne Paddington Movie and they had a little slumber party later on - Kristina and i were happy, when the two finally slept, but it was nice - also the breakfast was nice with two small kids.

We had snow on the weekend and i built a snowman with him and we had a snowballfight in that garden. I was kinda sad when he left with his pal from next door to go sled in their garden. But anyway im proud that he is getting older and turning out so well. As i was always on my own i obviously try to hatch on him and never let him alone, which isnt good either, but i can't help it. Im going to find the right dose for that in the future i hope.

I used the time to let Kristina her romantic movies on tv and i was working on my tractor in the barn. I need a special tool to disassemble the gearbox, so i have to be patient and wait for that bargain on ebay.

Later on in the evening, the little one came down after bedtime with the words 'Noone tells better Batman Stories then Dad' And he wanted me to cook a Batman Story for him. Yes, cook. Thing is: We have one of those cookie forms as a Batman Logo and i make him sandwiches in Batman shape, with a fried egg, some tomatoes or fruit and tell him a story whats this plate is about. He loves that and i like it too.

Today on work i feel lousy as usual, i don't have the right power and swing to be effective. Due to i'm in a leading position, i only have to delegate and thats not really satisfiying for me. I need something tangible on work. We will see how that goes in a few weeks. Even though i earn quite good, we still have money issues and usually on the 6th or 7tzh of the month, there is no more money on a + state on our account. This is eating me up, but it works somehow so i dont change it. Kristina is doing most of the money stuff and i let her because i dont want to have fights about this. Sounds stupid and yes: it is.

Out eledest son just got his drivers license and you can see him grow up day by day. He is now (17) a puberty volcano and his hobbies are gym and chilling... thats really not my thing but i try and let him do what he likes to. I kick his ass sometime when hes not doing his chores, but i think thats normal in that age. He is a bit late with rebelling, i did that with 14, but those were other times and other parents. Anyway: i think he lives good and will make his way.

In the last weeks i learned to love Kristina again more and more. I don't understand, how i could be so dumb and selfish and just cock-driven half a year ago. I guess it was that 'this year you are turning 40' thing which is totally silly and stereotype but happened to me. Oh my. I was a dumbass.

I googled AlAnon today and found out, what they are doing and that there is a meeting here in the town, were i was born. I think this fits and is a happy coincidence. I plan on participating a meeting and find out if it helps me dealing with my parents and my childhood/teenager years. This idea i took out of sitd - thanks to 'ilickdoorknobs'.

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Entry List
Abschottung
Sometimes
Collapsing Rueckwaerts
Everythings better with Batman
LifeLines
Greased Monkey
40
Yep
Hello Weenie!
Autumn
apples
Headache
eightofnine
Soup
Backflip
Campfire Communications
Idle
Fallin into pieces
Frank's Good Bye
Everythings done so far.
Frank is dead
Heritage
Launch
Summer's almost gone
Swing it like Tiger woods
Repetative whore
Father's Day 2017
Growing eternity
Choppin Wood
getting up
Summer
11:34am
Was immer Du denkst...
Friends
Backwards
the need of a diary
been a while
regrets
start again
drive in hell
if i ever
gonna go out
The Old One
blank
für Kristina
Probezeit
Sick
the thing is
work it out!
Your eyes are momentary
Verfickte Scheisse.
she
i feel fine
Leer
What if?
Anger Management
yep
Special K
Femme fatale & the Devil
what the ... ?
Quiz!
Got the Blues
Dead Elvis & his one man grave
Beatman rocks
Jgermeister
Christmas
Autumn
i'll fly away
Happy NY
blank
Them Good Ol Boys
still alive
jedediah bells
Sssssssmokin'
July
April
still here
December already
Travellin'
Resume
still alive/s>
48hours
Blockade
going to prague...
Wotan
Jason lives ...
50 Days
headless
the fool
maturity
sharp honey
Satellite path
Blue Sunday
chinese homebrew
breath
coal clerk's
new boots
dear diary II
dear diary
some serious fun
Happy New Year!
rusty throats
snailwarrior
saturday in december
home of an evil spirit
Hmyes
Frohe Weihnachten!
Thin Ice
The Sardonic Success
Snow!
Afterglow
Waterhotspur
The Wings Of Mourning
Sunday Morning
Departure tendency (Cold...
Silk Views
Burning Moments (Angst)
Brand New
Big City Collapse
Wintersleep
Ceremony
Raven' s Claws (autumn...
Happy Thanksgiving
Sugarstorm
Sunk (Velcroideas)
Rusted
Jim Morrison was wrong
Cruel Sky
Herzfresser
26 scorpio is my...
Tempest (Raven's Claws)
Dust (Lizardskin Retina)
Saturday Mornings
Broken Light
Car Seat (God's...
To kiss you dead.
Tara
Rücksturz
Crimson Rivers
Nebula Dawn
Deflections
Excitement soon unfolds.
Present
Cornermovers
Mountaineer
Undreamt of
Opportunity spirits
The Smile of the Satyr, I,...
The Smile of the Satyr, II,...
The Smile of the Satyr, III,...
The Smile of the Satyr, IV,...
Snow Flake, Elf and Blooddrop
Hällöwien
Grizzly jagt Elf
The Papercup
Hunted by the Mob
the acres of love
Iron Horses
Die Essenz des Glücks /...
Cloudy Days
Three Seconds, end of view.
Two Seconds
One Second
Paper
coffee machine vs. one eyed...
At least they have a stoven
The Moloch
Driving Around
Feeling 'Caughed'
my heart is wrapped in clover
Soulfly
waitin for the sun
Screwed up Head
Combed
Gör Kömmändö Zork De...
Oh Bella!
Fairy Tale
VoodooDoll
The sweetest thing
Pieces of Broken Glass
Knife Sharpened
Some Fishes to Sell
Salad to Sacrifice
Earsplittenloudenboomer
Fear
Verlust
Autumn
Transmetropolitan
Slugs on a Razor
Sharpness
Eggshellopener v.1.2
feeling cold
Addicted
Jumpin' Beer Flash!
One Hour Madness
Golden Brown
Hybrid Moments
A Wop Bop A Loo Bop a Lop Bam...
Ring Damn Phone, Ring
The Girl from the Drugstore
The Pizza Massacre
to start a roll
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