Fear
Listening to: Pogues - The Sick Bed of Cuchulainn
Feeling: scattered

This last summer days are beautiful, foggy mornings with cold, stitchin air followed by clear sunny noons and summerlike afternoons in which the people weasels like ants to catch some last sunflares. the autumn is coming and the world dives again straight to winter in which everything will die or sleep, time will be shorter and is going slower in the same moment. More worth on this thingy called time. Every little sunshine will be grabbed by the humans which are sad in the winter and those are dreaming of the next summer in which the time will be more elastic to enjoy life. Iam scared now, the third time it got me since last week friday. Scared to lost moments which are over and wont return for sure (?). Helpless of doing my luck to be related to someone, the lonelyness is more intensive in these moments. Im scared of those happy faces gigglin over and over the whole day, being strucked on pairs which are walking down the street, lovin each other and have the chance to swap their thoughts and feelings. Frozen like a Gargoyle on the churchdome im sitting here and looking out of my little world which has becaome a small prison and the key is deep in a heart of stone. Afraid to dig some in it to get the freedom back. Now this is only for the moment, maybe tomorrow it will be OK anyway but now im simply trapped as a prisoner of my own mind. Peace folks.

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Comments
never cease to amaze, (=
all of my messenger info is in my user info section, add whichever youd like (=
take care
--ambient
[anonymous (216.136.126.19)]
now i bet yout hat most people woudlnt have understood what you just said but i understood it all. hey do you have aim or aol or msn messenger or something like that?
[queenmuckymuck]
just a little...
[queenmuckymuck]
stuck in what???????
[queenmuckymuck]
you strange little man
[queenmuckymuck]
i liek bearbabe best lol. try to say that 10 times fast. bearbabe best. haha
[queenmuckymuck]
can i call you christian?
[queenmuckymuck]
oh but i do see you, you see. cause your on right now. and i see you. peek-a-boo. hehehehe
[queenmuckymuck]
i see you....
[queenmuckymuck]
i said "i think you are a stupid boy. ok not stupid but crazy. bye"
[queenmuckymuck]
add me toi your friends list because i said so
[queenmuckymuck]
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Entry List
apples
Headache
eightofnine
Soup
Backflip
Campfire Communications
Idle
Fallin into pieces
Frank's Good Bye
Everythings done so far.
Frank is dead
Heritage
Launch
Summer's almost gone
Swing it like Tiger woods
Repetative whore
Father's Day 2017
Growing eternity
Choppin Wood
getting up
Summer
11:34am
Was immer Du denkst...
Friends
Backwards
the need of a diary
been a while
regrets
start again
drive in hell
if i ever
gonna go out
The Old One
blank
für Kristina
Probezeit
Sick
the thing is
work it out!
Your eyes are momentary
Verfickte Scheisse.
she
i feel fine
Leer
What if?
Anger Management
yep
Special K
Femme fatale & the Devil
what the ... ?
Quiz!
Got the Blues
Dead Elvis & his one man grave
Beatman rocks
Jgermeister
Christmas
Autumn
i'll fly away
Happy NY
blank
Them Good Ol Boys
still alive
jedediah bells
Sssssssmokin'
July
April
still here
December already
Travellin'
Resume
still alive/s>
48hours
Blockade
going to prague...
Wotan
Jason lives ...
50 Days
headless
the fool
maturity
sharp honey
Satellite path
Blue Sunday
chinese homebrew
breath
coal clerk's
new boots
dear diary
dear diary II
some serious fun
Happy New Year!
rusty throats
snailwarrior
saturday in december
home of an evil spirit
Hmyes
Frohe Weihnachten!
Thin Ice
Snow!
The Sardonic Success
Afterglow
Waterhotspur
Sunday Morning
The Wings Of Mourning
Departure tendency (Cold...
Silk Views
Burning Moments (Angst)
Brand New
Wintersleep
Big City Collapse
Ceremony
Raven' s Claws (autumn...
Happy Thanksgiving
Sugarstorm
Sunk (Velcroideas)
Jim Morrison was wrong
Rusted
Cruel Sky
Herzfresser
26 scorpio is my...
Tempest (Raven's Claws)
Dust (Lizardskin Retina)
Saturday Mornings
Broken Light
Car Seat (God's...
To kiss you dead.
Rücksturz
Tara
Crimson Rivers
Nebula Dawn
Deflections
Excitement soon unfolds.
Cornermovers
Present
Mountaineer
Undreamt of
Opportunity spirits
The Smile of the Satyr, I,...
The Smile of the Satyr, II,...
The Smile of the Satyr, III,...
The Smile of the Satyr, IV,...
Snow Flake, Elf and Blooddrop
Hällöwien
Grizzly jagt Elf
The Papercup
the acres of love
Hunted by the Mob
Iron Horses
Die Essenz des Glücks /...
Cloudy Days
Three Seconds, end of view.
Two Seconds
One Second
Paper
coffee machine vs. one eyed...
At least they have a stoven
The Moloch
Driving Around
Feeling 'Caughed'
my heart is wrapped in clover
Soulfly
waitin for the sun
Screwed up Head
Combed
Gör Kömmändö Zork De...
Fairy Tale
Oh Bella!
VoodooDoll
The sweetest thing
Pieces of Broken Glass
Knife Sharpened
Some Fishes to Sell
Salad to Sacrifice
Fear
Earsplittenloudenboomer
Verlust
Autumn
Transmetropolitan
Slugs on a Razor
Sharpness
Eggshellopener v.1.2
feeling cold
Addicted
Jumpin' Beer Flash!
One Hour Madness
Golden Brown
A Wop Bop A Loo Bop a Lop Bam...
Hybrid Moments
Ring Damn Phone, Ring
The Girl from the Drugstore
The Pizza Massacre
to start a roll
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