[1345] Soul Mates

my mom did not respond to my last email. Jason sent excepts me to read all his nonsense but didn't even read my last email to him. I know caring about it means I care about them... but that's not the main reason i care about it.. i just wish they were better people. and i care because.. i wish God gave me a better family.

i guess in a way he did eventually end up giving me a better family.. Timmy pretty much reassures me daily now, that we are okay and everything is fine and he is my family now. (and that always calms me down. its weird how i can be completely overwhelmed one second and then he says that and the tension just melts away. its also weird that i know that the next day but sometimes i need to hear it said anyways because its like it has a life span.. like those life bubble shields in halo that only last like 30 seconds. its like that, like those words only last a day or 2 until they run out and i need them again.

In my head, i have always been pretty good at analyzing myself. for the most part. i was WAY off with the whole Brett crap but that's another story no one wants to read. but i am pretty good at knowing why i am acting a certain way. what triggers what. connecting things and whatknot. things said to situations.. i can't explain it right but.. like an example... if a person is betrayed by a lot of people.. then they automatically believe they will be betrayed by default, resulting in trust issues but mostly centered around betrayal. and the level of mistrust is higher and the level of hurt if this trust is broken, once again, is higher. if that makes sense. not trying to be a psychologist here. but I've come to terms with the fact that (maybe not for my whole entire life) but a huge chunk, i am just a needy person. I don't like the term "needy" because its always used in a negative sense. but its who i am and i can not change that. People, in my opinion, become needy about something because their life lacked something important.. something they.. needed. the more things missing, the more needy the person. ie, love, affection, acceptance, acknowledgment, companionship, control, stability, pride, etc....

i am not just needy because of one particular situation.. and as a result i think i am a pretty needy person....

probably the HUGEST example of that is this diary.. because i feel that no one ever listens to me, and when they say they do they twist my words around or they hear me but don't pay attention or ignore me etc... i feel the need to write EVERY last thought into this freaking diary. Its become a slight obsession really... the more lacking, the bigger the need.

because of my mothers inability to praise me when i did good.. i need more affirmation than most people.

because my brother and mother band against me constantly and i didn't have a father to go to or just a 4th person to side with me, i need to feel accepted more than most people.

because of the unfairness and the conspiracy growing in my family, i FREAK OUT if something isn't fair. more than i should... even if i am right, i get a little carried away... but i can't stand it. if i see a double standard even starting to form.. i can't tolerate it.

because of specific incidences in grade school and maybe other causes, i am absolutely mortified of public speaking. which is weird because i used to talk a lot in groups of people.. i guess its sort of different than actually speaking to an audience tho.

because my brother hit me and no one cared to stop him or punish him for it, and actually condoned it.. and STILL condones it even now... i get really scared when a guy physically handles me in anyway in anger. one time i said something to Tim in bed and turned away from him and he got mad at what i said and was angry that i turned around because he wanted to talk about it, and he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back and said "talk to me" or "turn around" or something and i lost it. it wasn't even anything, it just scared the crap out of me. and tim is probably the least scary person i know. that has actually happened a few times now, same exact thing, with Tim, but completely stupid because i am stupid. can't help it though, i feel helpless. he would never scare me intentionally, and absolutely would never hit me. I'm just a baby.

because my father left when i was a baby and kept coming in and out whenever he wanted.. and disappeared forever once again a couple years ago without giving a phone # or anything, and because everyone pretty much that i know in my life has left.. i think everyone will leave. and i don't trust anyone. i actually had the opposite problem a few months ago. which is sort of funny. because everyone had left (but a few people) i felt betrayed by people but i have always been a person to trust people right away, too much.. trust people i shouldn't trust. i wanted to trust people. i had hope that people would stay, not hope but more like.. i wanted to prove to myself that some people would go but not everyone. then October 2007 happened and although it would have been an adequate reason to think everyone would leave, i resisted and still maintained the desire to prove my experiences wrong. A few months ago was like the straw that broke the camels back, and i hardly know what that even means but.. i finally realized, no one stays. everyone goes. I have to convince myself everyday that Tim is the exception. actually, to be fair, he has to :/

there's other things like this (a lot) but i am too tired to keep going.. the point is, I am needy... i would rather i wasn't.. but i am who i am. and the problem wasn't entirely me. its situations and finding the right person to understand the situations that made me me. being with/around people who didn't "get it" have just added to the situation. and then there is Tim. i hope by writing this i can be more self aware and stop myself. i think like anything you want to quit, admitting it's a problem is the first step to recovery.. and talking about it heals or something. idk. but i know Timmy will always be there for me, as long as it takes to get over all this crap.

Its realizations like this that constantly prove how perfect Tim is in every way. Since he proposed i have never doubted he was my soul mate. i never doubted that we would end up together. but its not until actually being married for a while that i truly understand what that means, what a soul mate is.. He is the only person who understands what i wrote above and takes necessary action. he knows how to build me up and calm me down. he knows what to say in most situations and he'll learn the rest. the point really, is that he wants to. that is a soul mate. the only person on earth who genuinely care and want to understand, who will love all of you, the best parts and the worst. take your past and replace it with a future. he tells me i am strong. i used to believe that. recently as everything sort of seemed to get worse all at once, I've felt weak. but i think i am somewhat strong.. i can be.

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Entry List
6/ Commitment
5/ Insanity
4/ Inventory
3/ Anger
2/ Focus
1/ Recovery
Trial & Error
Hello Again
Last Night
September
How
Good Job
Squishy ice cubes
Hours
Breathless
blank
Over Simplified
The Afterglow
21. Dots and Dashes
17. In The Dark
10. Among Other Things
[2060] Le Temps d'un souffle...
[2025] Coup de Grace
[2017] The Way That It Will Be
[2006] Things That Matter
[2005] It
[2002] Must Be Nice
[1997] Coincidental
[1996] Apparently
[1981] Good morning,...
[1962] Praha II
[1968] Praha
[1966] Danke Scheon
[1963] Forlander
[1905] Flarm
[1883] Because
[1855] Cloudy with a Chance...
[1851] Double Rainbows and...
[1849] Then You Can Start
[1841] The Silence
[1829] Desires
[1827] Changing Directions
[1826] Damaged Need Not Apply
[1825] /Dies
[1824] Acceptance
[1822] Trust
[1819] Banana in the Dark
[1816] What's This?
[1815] 6th
[1811] Wabbits
[1809] What's the Dinosaur...
[1807] Grandma and Bea
[1806] Dear God this...
[1803] Cheers
[1797] One After the Other
[1796] Doors
[1794] Welpy
[1792] Ruh-roh!
[1790] Forgotten
[1787] C-3PO
[1786] Let Me Be Nice
[1785] ORRR
[1784] Sh!t Talking?
[1783] DO
[1782] Under the Hood
[1781] Duck Duck.. Goose?
[1780] Handbone
[1778] 1 week
[1777] Family?
[1774] GIRLS
[1769] 26 - 28
[1768] Pros and Cons
[1767] Bell Jar
[1766] To Be Out of Here
[1764] The Grove
[1762] Forgot Again
[1761] Recently
[1760] Never Learn
[1759] things
[1758] Oh Hello
[1757] A Feeling
[1756] Stabby Knight Syndrome
[1755] Aubrie
[1754] Getting Things Done
[1752] Ketchup Is Sticky
[1750] .
[1749] So Pissed
[1748] The Worst
[1747] Cake Pops
[1746] Don't forget
[1745] Birthday
[1744] Toxic
[1743] Incomplete
[1742] Exiting Narnia
[1741] Because My Head Hurts
[1740] House
[1739] Now I Have No Nose
[1738] I Miss It
[1737] All The LIttle Things
[1736] Top Shot
[1735]
[1734] Carpe Diem
[1733] Sleep Apnea
[1732] Soo...
[1731] You Don't Have To Say...
[1729] Give It Up
[1728] Too Good To Be
[1727] People
[1726] Guess What!
[1725] RIP my sweet boy
[1724] Goodbye Sweet Boy
[1723] Intussesception
[1722] Beef Stew
[1722] Lemons
[1721] Nightmare
[1720] Being Nerdy
[1719] Conflicted
[1718] More Time To Write
[1717] Hopefully
[1716] My Moose
[1715] Bruxism
[1714] The Grind
[1713] Ambiguity
[1712] The Worst Ever
[1710] Its a date?
[1709] Weird
[1708] Have To
[1707] Overnight Vegan
[1706] No kidding
[1704] Want
[1703] Creeps
[1702] Goodbye E3
[1701] Day 1
[1700] E3 2011
[1699] Don't Print Bobby Pin
[1698] Go Carts!
[1697] People
[1696] L.A. Noire
[1695] Jefri's Condo
[1694] But for now...
[1693] Stomach Issues &...
[1691] Loved
[1690] Stupid
[1689] Snuggly Blankets and...
[1688] I Didn't Ask Him To
[1687] Life and Love
[1686]
[1685]
[1684] Book Update
[1683] Double Standards
[1681] That's what she said
[1679] Ignorance
[1678]
[1677]
[1675] Poor Little Bird
[1674] DONE & DONE
[1673] Burn
[1672] Thinking Like A Man
[1671] 127 Days
[1670] Qualities and...
[1669] Momentum
[1668] Elegantly Posed To...
[1667] Whatever
[1666] TMJ and TMI
[1665] Neat video is neat
[1664] He said hi, i said...
[1663] Going Home
[1662]
[1661] Double Rainbow!!!
[1660] POOP
[1659] Woah Buddy
[1658] If I Only Had an Axe
[1657] FullTimez and Bennies
[1654]
[1653] Douchebags
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[1650] Solutions for Adults...
[1649] Orrreeeallly-ohes?
[1648] Wishy Washy
[1647]
[1646] Who Cares
[1645] Irlen Lenses
[1644]
[1643] That's Money Honey
[1642]
[1641] All Week
[1640] More Than Anything
[1639] Most Likely
[1638] /stab
[1637] And I don't know how
[1636] Dang
[1635] The Soup
[1634] But I Like Lobsters
[1633] Inception
[1632] Actually...
[1631] Responsibility, whats...
[1630] E3
[1629] WTF
[1628] /Stab.
[1627] Cheesus Christ!!
[1625] UHF
[1624] So Yeah
[1623] Speaking of...
[1622] Punchy?
[1621] For Now...
[1620] It Didn't Suck
[1618] Jefri Has A Girlfriend
[1617] All I Need To Be
[1616] E3!!
[1615] Higher Ups and Mochi
[1614] Headshots
[1613] Baby you got it
[1612] Eat My Heart
[1611] City Walk and Central...
[1610] Closer
[1609] Monologues and Floppy...
[1608] To be or not to be...
[1606] Clearly
[1605] She's already gone away
[1604] What If...
[1603] Grrrr
[1602] A Short Cut We'll...
[1601] As Stars Lean Down to...
[1600] Quickie
[1599] Exactly
[1598] Douche Baggery
[1597] Doppleganger
[1596] Cream Cheese?
[1595] I Hate Vista
[1594] To The Window, To The...
[1593] Countrylife vs...
[1592] Karrett
[1591] Flash
[1590] Rihanna
[1589] Spinning
[1588] The Tip Of The Ice Berg
[1587] Candy Coated Clouds
[1586] Changing All The Colors
[1585] Prestige
[1584] Christmas Cards
[1583] The Only Road I Know
[1582] You Don't Say...
[1581] Seriously?
[1580] Manuel
[1579] Sooner Than Later
[1578] A foxtrot above my head
[1577] Short
[1576] Modern Warfare
[1575] Emmett??
[1574] Have Fun Storming The...
[1573] Cock Pushups?
[1572] Let This Go
[1571] Tell Them To Build A...
[1570] UUUAGAHHHRGGHH!
[1569] STUPID!
[1568] New Moon
[1567] Look Me In The Eye
[1566] Where The Lines Overlap
[1565] To Bury The Castle
[1564] If Only
[1563] Attention Attention
[1562] Ass Burger
[1561] What and What Not
[1560] Bored
[1559] Male Prima Donna
[1558] Translucent
[1557] Bayside Halloween Show
[1556] Panic Research
[1555] No Sympathy
[1554] Claim To The Evidence
[1553] Undo The Knot You've...
[1552] Use Somebody
[1551] 1st Appointment
[1550] Dear Tragedy
[1548] The Nights That We...
[1547] I Threw It On The...
[1546] And I Feel Nothing
[1545] Birthday Times
[1544] Bored.
[1542] Cry Me A River
[1541] Screaming
[1540] MAYDAY!
[1539] Why 2K?
[1538]
[1537] Next Time You Point A...
[1535] Now I Can't Trust...
[1534] Je' Taime
[1533] That's What You Get...
[1532] I'm at it again
[1531] Killing Time
[1530] With Every Year That...
[1529] ready
[1528]
[1527] Home Sick
[1525] Fingertips have...
[1524] I Don't Get It
[1522]
[1521] Hardly Indestructable
[1520] Time Turned Fragile
[1519] The Right To Write Me...
[1517] The beginning of all...
[1516] You Beach
[1515] Personality Quiz
[1514] Awkward
[1513]
[1512] What and Whatknot
[1511] What's in a name?
[1510] Abnormally...
[1508] Crappy Friends and...
[1507] Noobs
[1505] Bunnies leave bite...
[1504] Cool friends and...
[1502] How to fix everything,...
[1501] Speak
[1500] rambling
[1499] Blurrr
[1497] Bubbles
[1496] Giant Jeni
[1495] Being grown up is silly
[1494] It ain't easy bein'...
[1493] Experiment
[1491] Today was a down day :p
[1490] & my heart would hit...
[1488] Drink up Beautiful
[1486] & it starts just like...
[1485] home
[1484] Kazzingachicken?
[1483] mah
[1482] take me home
[1481] Cold & Blue & Lifeless
[1480] Long survey
[1478] Blah blah blah.. banana
[1477] O boy!
[1476] So I pace the halls to...
[1475] Books & Cold Stones
[1474] ARG!
[1473] Tortures of the damned
[1472] Just enough to love you
[1471] Sometimes..
[1470] Dear Tragedy
[1468] No one understands
[1467] Nice
[1466] We'd stay there forever
[1465] Mayday, Mayday!
[1464] Sundays
[1463] Get Your Fix
[1461] "Husbandy"
[1460] Eat My Brains & I'll...
[1459] Ring, Ring!
[1458] Do do do . Banana.
[1457] 365 Reasons Why...
[1453] Ask and you shall...
[1452] Tim Always Knows
[1451] Almost Here
[1450] New Moon
[1449] On Purpose
[1448] This Place
[1447] Prozac Problems
[1446] lets change things up...
[1445] Coming Close
[1444] Meh
[1443] Seriously?
[1442] Tick Tock
[1441] Bad Ass
[1440] People Suck
[1439] Its nice
[1438] Sanding Sucks
[1437] Today was good
[1436] A Happy Ending
[1435] Somersaults
[1434] The Panic Begins
[1433] Craigs list & Cat...
[1432] Pretty n' Pink
[1431] Lame News
[1430] Are you Mocking me?
[1429] Perfect POnies
[1428] And Everything Just...
[1427] Victims from the...
[1426] 2 Weeks to Live
[1425] o Joy!
[1424] Pros and Cons
[1423] DJ Hero
[1422] And then 3 became 5
[1420] Mac FTW
[1419] EEEEE I HAS A MAC!!!!!!
[1418] 10 Reasons
[1417] Unexpected Gifts
[1416] Much Better Things..
[1415] Bologna?
[1414] 2 Ducks Sitting In A...
[1413] Cheats and Drums,...
[1412] Sunset and Santa Monica
[1411] Topanga can Suck it
[1410] Jeni Land
[1409] Bigger People
[1408] What A Noob
[1407] Titles and Numbers
[1406] Sleeping In
[1405] Deflate The Air From...
[1404] Bite Sized Pieces
[1403] Tuesday
[1402] Torrance vs El Segundo
[1401] QA Training Day 1:
[1400] Hi world.
[1399] A Note On Your Bed
[1397] Pink Lemonade
[1395] Its Been A While
[1394] Peanut Butter...
[1393] Snap Back
[1392] Freaking Out
[1391] Activision
[1390] Doctor Appointment
[1389] Cake
[1388] Until My Feet Don't...
[1387]
[1386]
[1385] Jeni the Builder
[1383] 100 lbs!
[1382] Broken or Gross
[1380] But We Will Never Fold
[1378] The Cure
[1377] Too Little Too Late
[1375] Is Everyone Here...
[1374] Now I Wonder
[1371] Iz Businez Time
[1370] Oh Yaz?
[1369] personality in a paste
[1367] At the Beginning
[1366] Typical
[1365] Resolution
[1364]
[1363] I am no bird
[1361] Its A Pity...
[1360] Not So Novice...
[1358]
[1357] Yahoo..
[1356] People I know
[1355] Christmas 08
[1354] Almost
[1353] Neverending
[1352] Who do they think they...
[1351] COMPLETELY
[1350]
[1348] Christmas Shopping
[1347] Silly Goose
[1346] Junk Mail
[1345] Soul Mates
[1344] Oh Really?
[1343] Walk On Water Or Drown
[1341] Run Away, And Never...
[1340] A Picture Worth a...
[1339] And I've Brought Some...
[1338] Plain Yogurt
[1337] BFF's
[1336] Eyes Meeting Over The...
[1334] And Since We've No...
[1333] A show of hearts, who...
[1331]
[1330] Never FInish A Book
[1328] First they're sour ...
[1327] Corners and Cones
[1326] Choli
[1325] Thanksgiving part II
[1324] Thanksgiving part I
[1323] Pancakes & Candied Yams
[1322] Tongue-Tied and...
[1320] Thanks But No Thanks
[1319] New Hair
[1318] Changing All ThE COlors
[1317] Fairness Is Failing
[1316]
[1314] And All Of Those...
[1312]
[1311] Such Boundless Pleasure
[1310] The Bird Is the Word
[1309]
[1307] A GOsh Darn...
[1306] Its Funny Cause It's...
[1305] Buttcritter
[1304] To Be Loved
[1303]
[1301] History In the Making
[1298] Best Day Ever
[1297]
[1296] Cry Baby
[1295] Bored.
[1294] Keep talking
[1293] Thrill Planet
[1292] Peachy
[1291] Hot n Cold
[1290] Are we having fun or...
[1289] To Be Haunted
[1288] Blue sweater and an...
[1287] WHOA 1500! plus 1
[1286]
[1285] The Only Song
[1284]
[1283] awkward..
[1281] Drain the Blood
[1280]
[1279] All Nighter
[1278]
[1277]
[1276] freister661
[1274] Progress Continued..
[1272]
[1268]
[1267] Cold & Blue & Lifeles
[1266] Everything we need is...
[1265] Made of Glass
[1264] pissed
[1263] frozen things they all...
[1262] only..
[1261] my domain
[1260] If you can't beat em,
[1258] You never missed a...
[1257] Mental Abuse
[1255] very tricky
[1254] The Fall
[1252] Denial Never Hurt...
[1251] Ahhhh
[1250] Yet Again
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[1462] Forgetting is a sin
[1461] My Dress
[1460] how now brown cow
[1458] The Basics
[1456] the littlest mermaid
[1455] Helpless.
[1454] Forgive and Forget
[1453] Retraction
[321] Don't read me, I have a...
[142]I dont want to run...
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[1450] 321 Penguin!
[1449]
[1448] High Above the Trees
[1447]
[1446]
[1445] Mama Mia
[1444] I Dream In Wishes
[1443] Save the Date
[1442]
[1441]
[1439] Eyes Glued To His
[1438] You Call It Fate, I...
[1437] Banana Pancakes
[1435] It Felt So Wrong, It...
[1434]
[1433] Cmon Cmon
[1432]
[1431] And I liked it...
[1429] Love and Marriage
[1427] Artificial flavored...
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[1426] I landed on the island...
[1424] Not Again..
[1423] How do you know?
[1421] Cuz I'm always on the...
[1420] Pictures
[1419] 4th of July
[1418] Wusband and Hife
[1417] Call It Karma
[1416] Viva Lost Cell Phone
[1415] It could be the same...
[1414] If you had a chance to...
[1413]
[1412] Maybe Not
[1411] Family Fued
[1410] I'mma New Soul
[1409] Maybe Monday
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[1408] Taste these teeth...
[1407] One Banana Stand At A...
[1406]
[1405] Zingy Zingy Zingy
[1404] Early Bird Gets Nothing
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[1401]
[1400]
[1399]
[1398] It Starts.
[1397] False Pretense
[1396] My eyes are melting
[1395]
[1394]
[1393] Hello Kitty
[13 92] Friedly Fire
[1390] Hands Down
[1389] Oh Sexxay...
[1388]
[1387] Like A Desperate...
[1386]
[1384]
[1382]
[1381] Mini Roses
[1380] "MOO"
[1379] In the Hole
[1378]
[1377] Rock the Cradle
[1375] As Soon As You Start...
[1372] Run Baby, Run
[1371] And it teases you for...
[1370] Images
[1369] The Closer
[1367] Release
[1365] Stop and Stare
[1366] What Gets You Through...
[1364]
[1363]
[1361] Easter Eggs and Karma...
[1359] Michelle My Belle
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[1356] BAH!
[1355] Some People
[1354] Hmm
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[1350] BEYOND
[1349]
[1348]
[1347] Imagine All The People
[1346]
[1345]
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[1343]
[1342] A Job Well Done?
[1341] Daily News
[1338] My Foot Is Asleep
[1337]
[1336]
[1333]
[1332] Simple and Plane?
[1331]
[1330] Bendy Straws
[1329] Is Narnia in the...
[1328] I'm A New Soul
[1327] Hermit Crabs Are Gross
[1326] Last Last Time
[1325]
[1324] Juxtaposed
[1322]
[1321] zours
[1320] It's You
[1318] Setting the New...
[1317] He likes how I shake...
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[1313]
[1312] MVP
[1311]
[1310] superimposed
[1309] very funny
[1307]
[1306] The Definition Of A...
[1305] Homemade Cards And Die...
[1304]
[1303] I Can't Deny
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[1300] Oh
[1298] Pointlessness
[1296] Not To Brag..
[1294] The White Stuff..
[1293] A Matter of Time
[1291]
[1289] Just Get Over It
[1288] Well
[1286] Makin Babies
[1285] Ginger Bread Houses
[1284] Jam and Pim
[1283] Oh Man
[1282] Thankful
[1281] Half Alive
[1280] Hundreds of Pages,...
[1278] Phantom of the Opera
[1277] The MEat Of LOve
[1276] So, So I Don't Know
[1274] For Little You Or...
[1271] Happy Feet
[1270] Epic
[1269] Liife is Wonderful
[1267] This Isn't Hollywood
[1265] That's What HE said
[1263] I was so
[1262] Boys Like Girls
[1261] I Am Over It
[1259] I Feel Good All Over
[1258] Running Right Behind...
[1257] Officially Unofficial
[1255] Naked Lunch Is Natural...
[1256] Blue Jean Baby
[1254] I Know Everything...
[1253] Footprints On My...
[1252] harlequin girl
[1251] uhm
[1250] Graphic Design
[1248] That's
[1247] Well..
[1246] Sunday Morning
[1244] i might disappear
[1243]It's too...
[1242] Like A Drug
[1240] hear me out
[1238]
[1237] Aww and AHHH!
[1235] Santa Cruz
[1234] Painting
[1233]
[1227]
[1225] Pencil Sharpeners &...
[1223] Why not..
[1222] Nothing without you
[1220] just another survey
[1217]
[1216 1/2]
[1214] i need a poptart
[1212] Kelly Anne
[1211] running away
[1210] yellow and lime
[1205] Let it be
[1206]
[1203] It's Official
[1202] BLAHHHHG
[1099] Across The Universe
[1201]
[1098]
[1095] title and registration
[1094] Are You Ready To...
[1092] I shot you in the face...
[1091]
[1090] whatever what?
[1089] breathing
[1087] finish this later
[1086]
[1084] like a raindrop
[1082 1/2]
[1082]
[1081]survey thingy
[1079] this is a reminder
[1078]
[1076]
[1075]
[1074]
[1072]
[1071] funny face
[1070] p50
[1068]
[1069] and eat it too
[167] renee is gay
[166]skoozy
[1065] Couch
[1063] I dont care
[1060]
[1058] The Rest
[1057] finding neverland
[1054]
[1050] no title.
[1048] radio on
[1047] in other words..
[1045] If you ever had a...
[1043] I hold sunlight &...
[1042]
[1040]
[1039] going nowhere
[1038]
[1036] The way I am
[1033] bridal shops and zuma...
[1032] my only one
[1031]
[1029] hunger
[1027] POP goes my heart
[1026] tooools
[1025] bodily functions
[1024] Gravity
[1022] photoshop 101
[1020]
[1019] diligently doubtful
[1018] TSS
[1017] not worth mentioning,...
[1014]
[1012]
[1013]
[1011]
[1010] BAH!
[1008] oh, you're alone
[1007] mind boggling
[1003]
[1002]
[1001] "sup"
[1001]the real 1000
[1000] and the winner is!...
[999] spanglish
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[985] and makes me realize
[986] Makes Me Wonder
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[982] the last couple years
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[980] your hands are mine to...
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[977] and all the kings...
[975] commonplace occurances
[974] there aint nothin to...
[972] nothing gold can stay?
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[967] i think not
[966]
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[964] shooting star
[961] double sided tape
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[954]
[953] i hate sleep
[952] Going to the chapel &...
[951]
[950]
[949] I cant think of a...
[948] All about those words..
[947] Geek in the Pink
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[944] Hits her like a ton of...
[943] adhesive bandages...
[942] Ryan Atwood?
[940] sibling rivalry
[939] he's gotta be strong,...
[938] one day i slowly...
[935] walkign and singing...
[932] amanda must die...
[930] In a flash...
[929] Humphry Bogart stole my...
[928] timmy fry fry
[927] i got you babe
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[918] Don't let the..
[917] August I'll see you...
[915] cuz its sexy
[914] january 6th
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[910] This Christmas
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[909] wow i wrote alot of...
[908] Thailand or bust
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[904] coffee break
[901] Best buy blows
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[895] parinoid
[894] Curve balls
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[891] almost alive
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[889] this could be different
[786] cold stones and warm...
[785] globalization is...
[783]
[781] screw it
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[779] From the freeway
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[763] tonight
[762] boring again
[759] boring
[760] top of the mornin to ya
[758] no name face
[757] pretty much...
[752] i cant find my phone...
[750]
[749] dirty pirate hooker
[747] things change...
[744] on wednesdays we wear...
[745] ash hole
[746] i guess..
[740] mondayness
[743] it helps
[742] 21st
[738] fine.
[739] i hate myself
[735] So Little Purpose...
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[732] well..
[731] Bianca Bear
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[729] yeah..
ahh.
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[719] Mothers Day
[718] Jefferton
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blank
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[714] one thats all your own
[711] X-games continued
[710] X-games
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[707] Country Time
[706] We'll hide indoors
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[704] Cuz I Cannnnn
[703] my depth perception
[702] Innocence Again
[700] the plan
[698]entry title
[697] In the FACE!
[695] In Roswell
[694] Shirt PUrses
[693] One Word...
[692] Now You Know
[691]
[688] Number Two
[685] just catching up
[684] Sit D is Healed
[683] Gotta make that mottor...
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[679] Entirely Useless
[677] ya know..
[675] Straight Up Now Tell Me
[673] ANother Way
[672] Blame It On Bad Luck
[671] December 9th
[670] All You Wanted
[649] Until this echo can...
[648] Hey
[667] 8:40
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[664] Douse the lights
[665] i tried to be...
[660] All In Your Hands
[659] subside
[658] Caricature of intimacy
[657] & paying in naivity
[656] whats best?
[653] It starts
[652] "How Are You?"
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[647] So contagious
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[646] The Art of Growing Up
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[643] Tomorrow is the new...
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[641] but its better if you do
[640] storage
[639] heart & soul
[637] so far
[636] writers block
[635] titles are overrated
[633] Raindrops on Roses
[632] 5:15 and beyond
[629] lunch backwards is...
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[627] I'm the new cancer
[626] TRY
[625] swing kids
[624] knmsdn
[623]untitled
[622] Hippie Monkey
[621] A quick one
[618] Viva La Difference
[617]
[615] CABOOSE!
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[612]
[610] Just this once
[609] What Good Is It?
[608] Pour it out
[605] 6:25
[604] teddy grams and kelly...
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[602] thingy i do
[600] Blank
[598] PG
[596] Unthinkable
[595] ...on both accounts
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[592] On a day like this
[591] Take my breath away
[589] forever to get here
[588] survey
[587] sos
[585] so this is the new year
[583] back in black
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[580] christmas
[579] Nite before Christmas
[577] Click here
[575] Brown and baige
[574] Indestructable
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[570] Chicken Little
[569] Out and about
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[565] American Reject
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[562] the taste of saint...
[560] Turks!
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[558] Marriage and divorce
[556] Hey tony!
[555] PICTURES?
[552] Beachen'
[551] Whatever
[550] The Travis
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[547] Not gonna happen
[545] Like Fandango
[544] Cute in the rain
[543] Shocker
[541] cereal killer
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[539] TWO stupid to count
[537] bleh
[536] All sortsa time
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[533] unfinished
[532] Keep me in tune
[531] Hoctober 31st
[530] literate and stylish
[529] water fills these open...
[527] too good to be true
[526] ESPN or something
[524] Picture this
[522] Lime Flavored
[521] What gives?
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[517] Worth the pain
[513] 20 questions
[512] Dear Diary
[509] burts bee's
[511] meow, isnt that nice?
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[507] I ate carrots
[506] five O six
[504] That simple
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[502] Throw it back
[499] September ends tonite
[498] Juxtapose myself and me
[496] Walls of Porn
[495] Mommy dearest
[494] NUTS!
[491] Cuz after all..
[490] sendin me straight to...
[489] Shrinking?
[487] a glimpse
[486] YAy for that
[485] weezererererer...
[484] So deep that it didnt...
[483] No heavy thoughts
[481] pink pops and red eyes
[480] pictures cuz i can
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[478] CASTLES IN THE SKY
[477] Turn It Inside Out So I...
[476] Big Brothers
[474] Short and Stout
[473] The M word!
[472] Gaps in History
[471] Oh guess what
[470] my heart is spoken for
[468] the biggest yellow...
[467] Goodwill
[466] Crazy Selfish
[464]
[463] Left Unsaid
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[460] monday
[456] A Good Scream!
[455] When I wanna be
[453] Incoherent response
[452] No Friends
[450] Fall to pieces
[451] Delta pics
[449] For a week at a time
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[447] I can't live
[445] its all in you
[446] Always something
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[442] I'm a notebook?
[441] Ventura theater
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[438] Feel and felt better
[436] ndusfsduifbsdfg
[435] Dont put it out with...
[434] 1 Month
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[431] Boys are like
[430] Nothing
[429] basically
[428] For a week
[426] Like riding a bicycle
[423] i like bruises
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[422] Delta whAAAt?
[419] sean & jeni pictures
[417] "whAAAAAAA?"
[416] coOOOOOokie crisp!
[415] frikken whoa
[414] yawn
[413] TGI Friday
[411] live a colorful life
[412] For you only
[410] Accuse me?
[409] How much longer will...
[408] duckie hearts P-tree
[407] freak out
[406] wanna bake me cupcakes?
[404] i have a sean?
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[400] 400!!!!!
[399] Beachen'
[396] new season
[395] pictures!!!
[394] are we in space? do we...
[393] mmmmHMMM!
[391] water is for quiters
[390] I love lamp
[389] But i just keep tryin
[388] kick me
[382] Look at the MOON
[385] To make plans and...
[381] suck
[383] show time
[382] pictures are fun
[381] to eat or not to eat?
[380] why do u wait on me?
[379] yeah. but what color...
[377] i think i might just..
[374] something unpredictable
[373] If you see a change in...
[371] such sweet sorrow
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[367] the roaring 20's
[364] poo poo
[360] heh.. 360 eh?
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[356] Entry Title
[355] you make me wanna "la...
[352] Who am i?
[343] The spectrum's A to Z
[342] Kiss me I'm romantic!
[341] Oh! Oh yes indeed
[340] We looked like giants
[339] DOH!
[338] TOM WENT TO THE MAYOR!
[337] Shhh don't tell!
[336] The dingo ate my...
[335] Little miss apprehensive
[334] Shoes on the ceiling
[333] lalala da bears
[331] And ended so soon
[329] PANCAKED...
[328] Red lettered day
[327] My life....
[326] Baby eys
[325] Does evil exist?
[323] So sick of being tired...
[321] Noticing Nothing Again
[318] Sat and Sun
[316] You + Me = Us
[315] Not Even A Little Bit
[314] Love and Angels
[313] Bu-bu-bu-bunnies are...
[312] R is for Rawr
[310] Are you ugly?
[309] a new start
[308] I hate them all
[307] not going anywhere
[306] 3 In The AM
[305] I dream of... Justin...
[303] I'm invisible
[302] It's Over
[300]THE
[298] when they doubt
[297] Hmm.
[296] nope, not at all
[295] unfinished
[294] Tehacha' what?
[293] And Yet
[292] not finished
[291] Tom Boy
[290] HASSELHOFF!!!!
[285] NOWWWWWWWW!
[287] ninja what?
[284] sing that song for me
[282] EEK!!
[279] gentry
[280] Dun na na na
[277] The List
[275] For Once
[274] my pet wombat
[273] It Does...
[272] Like a donut?
[271] ouch, my liver
[270] misery or missouri?
[267] Space Up In My Head
[269] If You Can
[265] what i was expecting
[266] nothing
[263] In your head
[262] and nothing but the...
[261]
[260] two-sixty
[259] heart in a blender
[257]
[256] i can't feel my arm
[255] stomp my face to mush
[254] apples can runner fast...
[253] every little thing
[251] and i was like...
[250]
[249]
[248]um yeah?
[247]i got it at ross?
[246]after the glow
[243]sing it out
[244] kiss me on the mouth
[245] what would you name a...
[242]psycho supergoddess
[239] everything she had
[240]2 all you mother truckers
[238]one line at a time
[233] a theory of my own
[232] whistle while you work
[230]GO billy GO!
[228]Hope your doin well
[227] yeah yeah uh huh
[226] BOOGErs!
[222] adam wasn't there
[221] emotionally exhausted
[220] endless rain
[219] SAl farted on my arm
[218] hi and hello
[217] The fireman told me
[216]if peter pan was naked...
[215] forever temporary
[214] I cant count to...
[213] Butcher's Hook!!!!
[212] iron your lips
[211]Have I told you lately?
[209] who knows what entry...
[202] I'M RETAWDED!
[200] Where have all the...
[199]
[197] 2! 4! 6! 8! WHO DO I...
[195]Its been a while
[191] urg
[192] Even if...
[189] Save the Night
[187] NIKOLA!
[184] my bonnie lied, so I...
[183] Denial, revisited
[181] Blink 182??
[180] OoOOOooOOoBArAcUdA!
[179] mexico pictures finally
[177] I saw your butt and...
[175]thursday night
[174] Its the end of the world
[172] BOP!
[171] Monday Maddness
[170] Hecho en MexicO!
[169] the nite before mexico
[168] SO lame
[166] climax coming in my way
[165] the magical sitar
[164] hungry eyes
[162] Onion rings are...
[161] To Grandma's House She...
[160] THE CAR SHOW!!!!
[158] Polka dancing chEEt-O...
[157] monday
[156] picture this...
[155] pretend for you
[154] one for the road
[153] Didn't tell myself
[152] thoughts compressed
[151] dental floss and remote...
[150] puddles of cream cheese
[147] the cow talks!
[145] an entry to skip
[146] A nice balance
[143] ursala 1000
[140] SO lame and very much...
[139] hollywood horror
[138] and would you...
[136] Say Sneeze?
[137]Say what?
[135]Nothings wrong
[134]so fresh and so...
[132] dont read..
[133] and and and... is DNA...
[131]
[130]the word is oi
[129]look a duck
[127]
[128] fade away real slow
[126] Duckpond
[125] Leona said...
[124] Feed the Sheep
[123]P-P-P-PICTURES!
[121]He needs salt
[120] volcon logic
[119]Incandifamous
[117] ear-lee-ness
[114]It starts
[111]cheerio darling,...
[113] EVERYWHERE!
[110]SO HI
[109]what a hippo called...
[108]tish-a-moo's
[107]and I said whoo whoo
[106]jellyfishing...
[105]Once upon a german...
[104]Eat Our Chips
[103]?sselesnes detsiwt?
[101]Dalmations
[102]100!!!!!!!! BOTTLES...
[100]I LIKE EGGS!
[98]dun dun dun
[97]WHOOOO are you? who...
[95]14 DAYS!
[94]Give me a...
[93]Double what?
[92]pb and smuckers jelly
[91]JENI'S GOT A GUN!
[89]TARZAN RAPED MY FOOT!...
[90]Stringy cheese
[88]Sunday
[86]THE MISSING ENTRY!
[87]BE HAPPY!
[85]Bite my face
[84]Nothing more than...
[82]what flavor is the...
[80]Loads of Laughs
[79] looks like butt
[78]I see bad people
[76]Sitting on the letter...
[74]Warm Bricks and...
[73]so move your car
[70]boys-n-berry chapstick
[69]GET A SIT DIARY!
[68]Its whats for dinner
[67]PICTURES
[66]On behalf of an Ox
[65]BATMAN!
[64]The angry entry
[63]Utters
[62]if u noticed me
[61]Green Pants
[60]i eat rubber bands
[59]break your yoyo
[58]this is a boring entry
[57]don't know why
[56]ducking donkeys,...
[54]KIG-NIG-ITS!
[53]butter scotch tomatoes
[50]hand to hand
[51]Saddened
[49]granny smith apple
[47]gahhhhhh
[45]the size of a peach...
[46]drink my pee
[44]GONE
[43]what if I am a...
[42]and that's what I had...
[41]RAZOR BURN?
[39]Blind Mangos
[38]Effective Butter
[37]Funny Soaps
[35]shoelaces and where...
[34]braindead ducks
[33]Hello kitty committee
[32]and the fork jumped...
[31]I woke up
[30]so I burnt down your...
[29]Boring Bisexual
[28]Bohemian Rapshedy
[27]The berries taste...
[26]turkeys
[25]in my hands again
[24]chunky soup and...
[23]the HAPPY entry
[22] GOOD...
[21] I have to peeeeeee
[19] December 6th
[18] Happiness is Just...
[17]Nothing More Than...
[16]i am happy and I know...
[12]Leaving Spatula
[12]No More School
[10]KB Wasn't Home
[9]15 minutes
[8] And A Side of Buffalo...
[7]Just another day
[6] Head. Shoulders....
[5] Boys Hurt Me
[3]that sucked
[2] Um this is just...
[1]1st entry... EXCITING...
1415 post(s)