[[°º170º°]] Home again, home again..

Listening to: The TV
Feeling: groggy
Well, I'm finally back in town. I haven't gotten my computer fixed yet. I'm at my sister's house right now. I miss internet soo much though. I don't really know what to talk about. OH! I do have good news! Kevin and I are finally talking again! I didn't know what happened. We just like completely stopped talking for like two months. But when I was evacuating for the storm, he sent me a text saying he would be thinking of me. Last night he called me and I told him I would be able to come online because I would be at my sister's house. We talked until like 2:00AM. I was soo happy. Well, still am. I don't have anything else to sayy! See you guys around. Have a good one. <3
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[[°º169º°]] Hurricane Katrina

Listening to: The Radio
Feeling: fine
It's weird to live in a state that has been hit by a hurricane and been called the biggest disaster area in the history of the nation. The good thing is that I am okay and so is my entire family. It's scary though when there is no phone service and you can't call your family/friends to see if they're even ALIVE or not. I don't have a lot to say. What can I say? I'll update again sooner or later. I hope that anyone that was hit by this hurricane is okay and their family is also. COLIN! I LOVE YOU!! =)
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[[°º168º°]] II know, I know guys!

Listening to: The TV
Feeling: excited
It's been close to like four months since I've written. I feel so horrible. The thing is that my computer totally like crapped out on me and it wouldn't even let me go on the internet. So, my daddy just shut it off. I mean, there was no point in paying for interet if I couldn't even get on it. I'm at my sister's house right now. I've been dying without internet. You guys just don't even know. My uncle said that He's going to fix my computer soon. I sure hope so. I miss all of you. Well, I haven't been up to much at all this summer to be honest. I'm about to go back to school though. It sucks. I go back on the 22nd. I really don't have much to say at all. Hopefully I'll get internet soon. Talk to you all soon. MISS YOU!!
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[[°º166º°]] Eh, so I lied..

Feeling: guilty
I know I should have updated sooner. I wish I had. I want to get a lot of entries on here. I mean. I have quite a few but sometimes I wish I would have updated everyday. Wow. I know I'd have a lot then. Anyways. Matt and I broke up. Honestly, I don't even know why. Well, I know why I broke up with him but I don't understand why he acted the way he did. We had gone out before and we broke up because he said everything was going to fast. We didn't talk for awhile but we eventually started talking again and he said that he had like never stopped liking me and shit like that. So, we went back out and everything was good for awhile. I didn't talk to him since last Sunday. The first time we had talked in almost a week was yesterday. I asked him "Are you ever going to talk to me?" He played stupid and just said "Huh? Hey. What's up?" I was so freaking angry. I told him that we hadn't talked in almost a week and I didn't understand why. He just answered with "Well, it's not like I wasn't online or hard to get in touch with." Jeez. That pissed me off really bad. I've called him AT LEAST five times. I gave up because he never fucking calls me back. I just told him if that was the way he wanted things to end then that was cool with me. I wish him the best with everything and told him peace. I don't need that kind of shit from him. I really don't. Fuck him. Oddly enough, I like a different Matt. If I talk about him to people they're like, "I thought you hated Matt?" And I'm just like, it's a different Matt! Sheesh. Lol. He's really cool though. I like him a lot. ♥ Blake is still same old, same old. He gets interested in me and then he just backs away. I'll never understand him. Just as I think I'm getting to know him more, he becomes distant all over again. I don't know why I ever wasted my time and patience on him. Friday was our school fair. I didn't go because I didn't really feel good. I would have stayed home but I know I've already missed way too many days. I really hope that I don't fail. My mom will kick my dad's ass if I do. After all, it was kind of his fault that I miss so many days. Well, it is my fault too. But he shouldn't have let me stay home that much. Oh well. Whatever. So, on Friday, there were only a few people in my entire school that didn't go to the fair. I talked to this guy Bryan. He's really funny. He's a junior. What is with me and juniors? I don't know. Lol. I want to get to know him more. He seems like a cool guy. I wanna be his friend. =) I wish today wasn't Sunday. I don't feel like going to school tomorrow. I only have around 30 days left though. I can't believe school is almost over. It's so insane. It's gone by too fast. Now I know what Kevin means when he says I'll miss it. I didn't think I would but if it goes by this fast the other three years I'm there, I really will miss it. I don't really have much else to say. I'm not sure what I'm going to do today. Dahlia and I were supposed to hang out yesterday but she completely forgot. Yeah. That made me pretty angry. She offered for me to go to the movies with her. But her boyfriend's going to be with her too, so I think I'll find something else to do. Well, I might update tomorrow. Love you guys! Peace. Photo provided by Google.
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[[°º165º°]] It's been too long..

Feeling: shaken
Four days between entries is way too long. I'm sorry for not updating until now. It makes me sad when I don't update. I will definitely go for making an entry every day or every other day. Sound good to you guys? This weekend was boring and upsetting at first but it got MUCH better by Sunday. I didn't do anything on Friday. Elizabeth invited me to go to the movies but I just really didn't feel like it to be honest. I should have though. Saturday, Matt and I were supposed to do something. That didn't go over so well though. I didn't talk to him all day Friday and then all day Saturday until he talked to me at like 5:00PM. He asked me if I wanted to go the French Quarter Fest and I told him that my dad wasn't here because like. My dad isn't going to let Matt just come pick me up if he's not here. So, Matt's like "Can you call him?" I told him that I could but to be honest I didn't really feel like going down to the French Quarter. I guess he got kind of mad. I felt bad for turning him down but if he really wanted to hang out with me, we could have picked something else to do. I know I would have been with him and go ahead and call me selfish. But I hate the French Quarter. Oh well. Sunday was so awesome. My dad and I went across the lake for the day. It's just so freaking beautiful there. I wish I could move. I took so many pictures. I'm going to post them all. Wait until you guys see the puppies! My dad's friend that lives up there had EIGHT little four week old puppies. Oh my gosh. I was in ABSOLUTE puppy heaven. I have to admit --- I had a favorite. Enjoy guys! Love you all! These cows were following me along the fence while I was trying to take pictures of them. These three were taken out at the gravel pits. The water was so pretty. It's only that color because of the algae. These are all up at the house. My dog looks so funny. A dog in a tree? How many times a day do you see that? Honestly. These are like the cutest puppies I have ever seen! Looky. This is my dad's friend's dog. He's so adorable. And after that is a picture of the pond he was in. These are all of the pictures. Hope you guys enjoy!
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[[°º164º°]] Today's a better day!

Listening to: The TV
Feeling: wasted
Today was a good day. I wasn't stressed out and I enjoyed laughing with my friends. I really did. I realized that it's much better to be happy. Not only mentally but physically as well. It's hard for me at times to be happy, but I realized --- sometimes it's hard for everyone. The world isn't against me. Some days are just harder than others are. I didn't do anything today. I stayed outside and just enjoyed the sun. It was really nice out --- breezy and all. In a way I want spring to come but only if it will basically stay like it was earlier today. I don't want the humidity of the summer. I really don't. I won't have to worry about summer for a few months but time has been flying by so fast and it will be here before anyone knows it. Yesterday I think was one of the hardest times in my entire life though. I found out that a person I am very close with is really sick. It was difficult for me to accept and it still is. I just want to stay strong and confident for him as much as I can because I love him very much. Colin, you are a guy I look up to and I know you will get better and one day --- maybe not today --- but we will be together. Just so I can hug you and tell you that I'm always here for you. Don't forget that. I don't have much else to say. I'm happy that I've been updating more. I think it helps to get people's advice on things that are going on in my life. I think you all have made me less stressed out. Thank you all! Love you. =)
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[[°º163º°]] Another day to add to the list..

Listening to: The TV
Feeling: somber
I wrote come things down on paper while in Geometry today. I had nothing else to do and I needed some time to just think. I also wrote some stuff after school while I was sitting out in my backyard. Here it is : Today really sucked. I was tired and just had too many things on my mind. I was thinking of Mike ever though I don't do that much anymore. I though of Colin mostly though. He's just so --- distant. Like he's not even here anymore. He's such a completely different person now. I doubt he will stay this way but I don't even know anymore. I want to get away. I don't want to be a problem in his busy life. I don't want to be someone that he feels like he has to talk to. I want to mean something to him like I used to. Do I still mean something Colin? Or are you forgetting of me completely? Does it makes you more stressed out to know I cry everyday over the fact that you're drifting farther and farther away like Mike did? We're going to become even more different than we already are. I am so sick of my whole life. I'm sick of having shitty friends that I barely even talk to. I'm sick of talking to boys I'm not interested in. I'm sick of having the same fucking conversations with the same gosh damn people every single day. I'm sick of failing my classes. I'm just sick of myself. I wish things were so much different than what they are. I realize I am the only one who can change me but it's so hard. I feel like change only drifts me even closer to my past. Yeah. Back to the days when Mike and I were still together. Or even before that! Back when I was still in 8th grade and everything was just so much easier! Homework was easy. Tests were easy. There wasn't as much fucking drama then either! Teachers were friendly --- cared about you individually. Fuck. Teachers in high school just think of you as another student they are forced to teach. They don't care how many days you're absent or if you're failing their class. They just don't. Sometimes I wish I could move away. So far away. By myself. I don't care about having friends anymore. I want to be in another state or just another fucking city. I don't want to know the people that I do. Not anymore. They don't mean anything to me. They aren't here when I need them most and they just don't listen to anything I have to say. Ever. I hate it. I hate my fucking life right now so much. I wish I could be happy. I do. I love laughing and joking but I know that on the inside I'm crying and wanting out. I would miss one person the most. My dad. At times --- yeah. I've said I hated him but I know I really and truly don't mean it. I die a little every time I'm away from him. My dad is my hero and he always has been. I have always been such a daddy's girl. I got what I wanted when I wanted it. I got all the *new* baby dolls and every new Barbie. I loved spending time with my dad and I still do. Every freaking minute of it. I'm his only kid and I was spoiled even more so being his only daughter. I'm so close with him I would never trade it for anything. I haven't talked to my mom since like Thursday of last week. I totally regret it now. I know I don't see her that much but just sometimes I don't feel like talking. To her or my sister. I feel bad about it now but just at that time I didn't feel like talking to her. My sister called a few times but I didn't answer then either. Ahh. I feel so bad now that I keep thinking about it. So many things are just eating away at me and I really am starting to feel pain from it. I feel pains in my stomach and in my head. I feel all of this pressure and stress just hammering and eating away at everything that I am. I can't even see the lines on my paper anymore. My writing is becoming so blurry and I can't even make out the words even right after I write them. I WANT OUT! Maybe some day the pain will stop. Will it ever go away? Will I ever stop thinking of my memorable yet stressful past? I honestly --- don't know. Yeah. I was really stressed out. A lot of those things I now regret writing because I know that a lot of it isn't really true. I just felt like it was true. Here's the rest of what I wrote today : I'm sitting outside and it's wet. It rained a lot today. I hate being cooped up inside. It makes me even more upset than usual. My butt is soaking wet but I love the rain so it doesn't bother me. I love sleeping while it rains. I love falling asleep to that sound. I love playing in the rain most of all though. I remember being about 9 or so and getting in my bathing suit and riding my bike though the rain. Did I ever have any fears or worries then? Maybe just the fear of lightening? Or the dark after my dad tucked me in. I'm sure the boogeyman fit in there somewhere too. Do you ever wish you were still 8 or 9? Back in those days of elementary school. No one judged you there. You learned how to pass notes without getting caught. You learned how to lie when you felt you should. There was puppy love and premature crushes. What could have been better? Not very much, I think. Your grandparents always tell you to live your life to the fullest. "Don't get old." they say but sometimes I already feel so old. I watch little kids play and I think to myself "I will never have that again." And it's so true. I will never be 5 again. I may act it once and awhile but no longer will I ever be of that age. I've thought about so much over the past couple of days. It's difficult for me to read past entries I have in here sometimes. I relive every emotion I felt when I was with Mike. That's hard. I relive good and bad memories though. Mike is not included with a bad memory --- just a difficult one for me to think of. I have funny stories with Elizabeth in here, I have crushes, dramas, pictures --- hell, I have a year or so of my life written with these words. I've thought a lot about my family. I realize that my grandpa --- my dad's dad, and my grandma --- my mom's mom, are not going to be around forever. I need to make the effort to see them more because when they're gone, they're gone. End of story. Good news : Kevin and I are talking again. I really didn't think that we would but I'm glad that we are. Things --- I'm sure are going to be a little weird at first but eventually everything will clear up. That's a lot of writing, eh guys? I hope you enjoy the fact that I'm updating more. I love all of you. Don't forget that. ;)
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[[°º162º°]] Had a bad day again..

Feeling: frozen
I will never talk to Kevin again. It's kind of ironic what happened. I didn't care at first and when I think about it, I still don't. But if I think hard enough, I realize I will miss him. Definitely. I was talking to Chance a couple of days ago and Kevin had pissed me off and I said "If he never talked to me again. I will not care." And at that point I really didn't care. I didn't. Our last few conversations didn't consist of much at all. We barely had anything to talk about. I got used to it. I guess he didn't. The day before yesterday we quit talking over something stupid. We hadn't talked up until he said something at about 5:00 yesterday. This was the convo. I remember it perfectly. Him : hey Me : hello. Him : i just wanted to say Him : like byebye Me : why? Him : i don't feel the same way Me : huh? Him : about you Me : okay. Me : peace. Him : goodbye It's just weird to know that we will never talk again. In some ways, I know I will miss him but then in some ways, I know I won't. We were getting farther and farther apart as the days went on and I knew one day this would happen. I guess I just didn't expect it to be this soon, you know? Other things have been falling apart too. It really sucks. I found out from Pablo that Mike has a girlfriend. I wasn't as upset as I thought I would be. I mean. It still upset me and all but I don't know. I always knew he would find someone to make him happy and I'm glad that he did. Hopefully he will stay happy with the girl that he is with. Colin and I haven't been talking much at all either. He admitted yesterday that he realizes he's been kind of distant but I don't know. I feel like he's getting sick of me and that sooner or later he's not going to want to talk to me anymore. He told me that he gets sick of distance but that he could never get sick of me. I believe him and all but I'm just so unsure of everything right now. It's hard. Very. Do you know how many days I've missed this year? 27. A lot huh? I know quite a few of them are excused but that is definitely besides the point. I know my grades suck and I know I have been lazy in every one of my classes. I hate it. I hate failing shit. Fuck summer school. I know I have to go but hell. Ahh. I'm so freaking stressed out right now. There's too much going on right now and I really can't take it. I'm sick of dealing with boys. I'm sick of crying over them when they let me down even when I know it's coming. I hate fucking disappointment and I hate the way my life is right now. I want out. Sometimes I just wish I could rewind everything in my life. Rewind back before the moment I said something of offense to someone, rewind back to being the way I used to be when people no longer thought I was a bitch, and rewind back to a time when I actually had something worth living for. I want a new camera. I want a lot of things but that is probably the number one thing. I just want to be alone and take pictures and not have to listen to anyone's criticism or anyone bossing me around. I don't want to hear how I can make it better and I don't want people telling me it's ugly. I fucking hate this. I think I hate more than the fact that I have a shitty camera. I hate listening to people talk about themselves and know they have shit that I can never have. I'm sick of conceited people. Seriously. People like that don't even deserve to live. I'm getting mean now but who cares. I hate listening to the same music that I have over and over. I get so sick of it. Maybe I'm just sick of myself. Sick of listening to myself complain even. Are you guys sick of me yet? I have lots of pictures of me. I'll post. Plus one of my cat. Love you all. Sorry if my attitude sucks today. Have a good one. Peace.
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[[°º161º°]] Pictures of me!

Feeling: rested
I took some pictures yesterday since it was my last day of Spring Break. I love my eyes. I just wish my actual EYE color was different. Lol. I was kind of angry today and to be honest I don't really know why. We got out at 11:10 and I was alright in school but then after I was just kind of bitchy to everyone. I couldn't help it. I don't know what made me so angry. But I'm a lot better now. Has anyone noticed that I've updated quite a bit? lol. I hope soooo because I'm definitely noticing. ^.^ I want to get a lot of entries. I'm sick of having so little when I've had this diary for over a year. Blah. Oh well. I will try. I don't remember what I was looking at in the second one so don't ask. And yes. I am smiling. My smile is okay. Lol. Comment and tell me what you think! ♥
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[[°º159º°]] Hello, hello!

Feeling: alive
Yes, yes. I feel ALIVE. My entry is dedicated to Colin because he is a sweetheart and makes me smile so much! Thank you Colin for always listening to me! I love you for it!! I know, I know. It's been a long time since I updated. I'm really sorry guys. I don't know why I haven't updated. I've been pretty lazy I guess. Jeez. I'm lazy. Lol. So, I'm still failing Geometry. I failed ALL last semester, I will also fail this quarter and the only way I can POSSIBLY pass is if I get an 'A' next quarter. Yeah. As if that will happen. Give me a break. Even though I'm a Freshman, I'm going to take it in summer school. I don't feel like taking ANOTHER Sophomore class next year! I will already have to take Biology. That is going to be my only Sophomore class. The rest will be Junior classes. Wooo! ^_^ I have homework to do but I have no possible way to do it because my printer will not work. Yes, that makes me VERY angry. I freaking hate my computer as of now. Oh well. Maybe I'll get it fixed sometime soon. Well, I went to Dauphin Island last weekend. I only took like three pictures. I was so sick the whole weekend but I went anyway. I had as much fun as I could have possibly had. I will post those few pictures plus some recent pictures of me. Comment if you wanna. ;) I miss all of you very much. I'm sorry for neglecting my sitDiary friends. Love you all!
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[[°º157º°]] Would I be the same?

Feeling: rejuvenated
I've been thinking a lot lately. Would I be happier if I was still with him? Would I still be the same person I was almost six months ago? Would our relationship be strong or beginning to fall apart? Would we be completely different or still exactly alike? I really feel like hanging onto him does me no good. But then I think about summer. Will it be different when he gets out of school? I'm not sure really. Sometimes I wonder how different we truly are now. I wonder how much we've grown apart yet I still love him so much that it hurts me every single day. I complain too much about him but I just can't help it. I loved him more than anything. I still love him more than anything. I really do.
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[[°º156º°]] UPDAAAATE!!

Listening to: Blink182-Carousel
Feeling: delighted
Wow. Sorry for not updating sooner guys. I've been totally neglecting the diary world all together. I was just too lazy at first, then I had computer problems, and over the past two nights I have been very busy and getting home late. School was hard this week because I have a ton of make-up work. Even still. I have a few tests to make up but I should be okay. I'll just do it all over the holidays. Score. Yes, for us Louisiana people, it is Carnival Season A.K.A. Mardi Gras. This is probably my LEAST favorite holiday. It just reminds me of how stupid people are. Fighting for little pieces of plastic on strings? No, I think not. Many people get drunk. I will definitely not take part. Anyways. Over the past couple of nights I have been going to work with my dad after school. Tomorrow I will too. It gets boring because after a certain time I have no one to talk to. The store closes early because of the parades but of course my dad never gets out on time. Jeez. I'm tired. So, I got my braces off on the 24th. I shall include a picture. I didn't think that I liked my smile but I actually do. I know Kevin is happy about that one. He loves my smile. I haven't really talked to Mike lately. It makes me kind of upset but I don't know. I love him so much. I guess I just don't cry about it as often. Well, I can't say that. I know I will still cry over him and I probably will do it a lot but just lately, I've been too tired to even cry. Well, I better go update Xanga. I'll be going to bed after that. Enjoy the pictures. Comment. I love you all. Peace.
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[[°º155º°]] This is for you..

Feeling: hardcore
Okay so, I talked to Mike on the phone last night for quite awhile. It was pretty nice, I cried once or twice, but what I can I say? I love that guy. I guess sometimes he doesn't understand why I cry. Lately when I cry about him, I cry over the fact that he makes me feel like I should go out with someone else. Like he wants me to, and for me to just completely forget about him. I can't do that though. I've tried dating people but it doesn't work. Mike lives far away but I love him more than I've ever loved anyone before and I can't get over him. Not right now anyway. Will I ever? I donno. Maybe this summer will be like the last. We'll have to see. Our conversation last night may have had a few awkward silences and a few times when I was crying and couldn't talk, but knowing that I was actually talking to him like I used to, made everything better. I guess for awhile when he told me he loved me it was hard to believe. I mean, we hardly talked, and when we did we'd say I love you once or twice and then he had to go. It felt so meaningless, but now I know he means it. I feel bad for ever doubting him. I'll leave this entry with a couple of pictures. Braces come off early tomorrow, I might post pictures then. Peace out.
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[[°º152º°]] Long time no update..

Feeling: ill
It's been awhile since I have updated. I usually wait a week or so. But anyways. School tomorrow and I have exams Wednesday - Friday. Sucks really bad but I will get out of school at 11:05 and have a four day weekend after that. I talked to Kevin a lot over Christmas holidays. I realized how close we are even though he does live really far away. He's such a sweet guy and I know he will always be here for me but I don't know. I feel like he did before. Maybe I'm the one affecting his life too much now. I don't know anymore. Moving on though. For exams I SERIOUSLY need to study for science and a little for Civics. Geometry, well, that's juat a failed effort so I really don't even need to worry about that. Hopefully I won't have to take it next year though. I can't think of much else to say. I miss Mike a lot right now and hopefully I will get to talk to him over this coming week. Comment everyone. I will leave you with a picture.
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[[°º151º°]] SHOUT OUTS!

Listening to: Finch-Letters To You
Feeling: electric
Happy New Years to you all. Hopefully yours was better than mine but I'm not going to talk about it because I will only become upset and this entry is supposed to be happy. Just like call me or something if you want the story. *Elizabethb{color:white;}* -You are always here to listen to me and even though you may be a little slow, you always give me good advice. -We laugh about the dumbest things but it's always so much fun. -I've never been this close to a friend as I am with you and I love you. *Kevinb{color:white;}* -Kevin, you always help me when I need it and you make me feel like I mean something. -I love you like no other and you are seriously the sweetest guy I have ever known. *Mikeb{color:white;}* -What can I say? -I love you with all of my heart. -You mean the world to me and I will never stop loving you. -I already know that. -I'm sorry for things I have said to you in the past, they might have been unnecessary but you always knew I loved you. *Hannahb{color:white;}* -I haven't been talking to you for that long but you're still a really great friend. -I can relate to you somewhat relationship wise and somehow or another you always make me laugh. -I love ya dearly. *Colinb{color:white;}* -You always have listened to me when I needed to vent and I appreciate that a lot. -I am always here for you if you need someone to talk to and I just want you to remember that. *Michelleb{color:white;}* -I've been reading your sitDiary for a really long time and even though you live so far away I feel like I know you so well. -You always leave me comments to support me and give advice. -Thank you! *Leob{color:white;}* -You're one Emo boy Leo! -LOL. -You've helped me a lot through this situation with Mike and I love you for it. -YOU ALSO MADE ME LISTEN TO AWESOME MUSIC! -Yayy. ^_^ If you want to be added to my shout out list, comment and tell me! I want to add more I just don't know who to add. = LOVE YOU ALL!! ♥b{color:white;}
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[[°º154º°]] THREE days!

Feeling: aggravated
I talked to Mike last night for a little bit. It made me pretty happy. We didn't talk awhole lot though. I guess that sort of made me sad but it's better than nothing I guess. I'm really pissed off right now. My friend Pete is being really weird. Here's the convo: Me: I hate when people call me when they're drunk. Me: It pisses me off. Pete: lol Me: Blah. Pete: i'll remember not to do that Me: Yeahh. Pete: i don't get drunk often though Pete: and i only call one person Pete: and leave really long really funny messages on her machine Me: I see. Pete: not to thrilled are you Me: Nope. Pete: y not? Me: I donno. Pete: LOL Pete: SORRY FOR CAPS Pete: dammit Pete: sorry for caps Me: It's okay. Pete: K Pete: i seem to only be pissing you off today Me: No? Me: Yew didn't dew anything wrong. Pete: ok... Me: Yeah. Pete: .. Me: What? Pete: NUTTIN Pete: sorry agian Me: It's okay. Me: Taaaaalk. Pete: HIIIIIII Me: Hihihihihihhihihihi. Pete: 'SUP Me: What's with yew and caps! Me: Lol. Pete: nothing Pete: lol Me: O_o Pete: ^_^ Me: Lollz. Pete: HEH Me: WHAT IS WITH YEW AND CAPS. Me: JEEZ. Pete: NOTHING Pete: LOL Pete: I HEART THEM Me: It makes me feel lyke yeWr yelling at me. Me: Lol. Pete: SORRY Pete: I'M NOT Pete: LOL Pete: yea so Me: Yeahh. Pete: yea.. Me: Hii. Me: Dew yew want me tew let yew go. Pete: NO? Pete: SORRY LOL Me: Okay. Pete: JUST TALK TO ME LOL Me: I'm just going to go for awhile. I'll talk to you later. Pete: aight cya Me: Bye. He's never like that and I don't understand why he would be a jackass to me. I know it may seem like I'm just overreacting but he's never acted like that towards me and it makes me upset. Whatever though. Anyway. I didn't go to school again today. My dad said he was tired and said I could just stay home. I didn't WANT to go but I was going to since I was already absent on Wednesday. But oh well. No big deal. Braces come off of Monday. That's one thing I'm happy about. I need to start taking pictures again. I haven't taken a lot in awhile except for when I went to the Sculpture Garden. I'll put those in this entry including one of me. Peace out everyone. Much love to all of you.
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[[°º158º°]] Nothingness..

Listening to: Greyline-Pray
Feeling: numb
I know it's been awhile since I have updated in here and I'm sorry. I have been updating a lot in Xanga. I can't forget about sitDiary though because this was my first diary and it has a lot of meaningful things in here. A lot of good and bad memories. Valantine's Day was pretty good. I got some roses so I was happy. It made me smile a lot. Now, everytime I walk into the kitchen, I yell out "I LOVE IT!" I love roses. I never had a thing for Valentine's Day though. Oh well. I'm getting a hair cut on Saturday. I am in much need of one I will say. I get so frustrated when my hair doesn't do what I want it to. Jeez. I'm childish. I haven't been to school in awhile. I miss too much school but who cares. I don't even feel like thinking about that right now. My day has sucked. I've been pretty depressed lately and it bothers me a lot. I wish I could just get over it but I can't. I'll leave everyone with one picture.. Leave a comment or two and I'll also try to update a little more. Love you all. But mostly Mike. Peace.
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[[°º167º°]] I love the Sandlot!!

Listening to: The TV
Feeling: blah
I'm watching the Sandlot. I love this movie so much. I don't know what made me decide to start watching it but I'm glad that I am. I haven't watched this movie in awhile. It's so great though. "L 7 weeeeeeeenie! Kid's a square, Benny!" Haha. It's so great. I feel kind of bad but then at the same time I realize that I don't really care anymore. My friend Jeff got irritated with me a little while ago. I seem to always get off of the phone with him if someone calls me or if he calls me while I'm already on the phone. I know that the only reason I should ever get off the phone is if I was already on the phone. But I don't know. I felt bad but now I don't. I haven't met him yet. He lives really close to me but I'm not really good about meeting people. I guess that offends him kind of because he thinks that he's the only person that I don't want to meet. That's not true though. I don't know. I give up. Jeff just sent me a text message saying that the reason why he wanted to hang out with me was because he thought I would make a good girlfriend. I'll admit that I used to want to go out with him. But then he started talking about this girl that he either has or had a crush on. I gave up after that. Maybe I was wrong. Oh well. But anyways. Enough about Jeff. Everything is pretty cool with Matt. He's a really good guy and I like talking to him. He's know it. ;p I'm not sure what I'm doing this weekend yet. I want to go across the lake but I don't have my new camera yet. Oh my gosh. My new camera is like the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I'll include a few pictures. I can't really think of much else to say. I really need to update more I just haven't had much to say lately. Love you guys. =)
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[[°º150º°]] These days, love is hard to find..

Listening to: Cold Play-Trouble
Feeling: imaginative
"Miiiiiiiike." "Yeah?" "Guess what?" "What?" "I love you." "I love you too. You know that, right?" I've realized how much I stillb{color:white;} love him. He came online last night and I was like "Mike should call me because I'm bored." So, he did. You all just don't even realize how happy that made me. It made me happier than like anything ever could. Well, except being with him. But just hearing his voice, brought me back to think about how we used to be. I miss it so much. But I'm happy that he's doing good. It's all I needed to know. Gosh. I love himb{color:white;}. Moving on. I took a lot of pictures tonight. I have a different shirt on every few pictures because I was showing Elizabeth my awesome new shirts. Ladies and gentlemen, I now dress preppyb{color:white;}. Lol. Just don't act it. Enjoy. Comment please. ^_^ I do indeed love all of you. ♥b{color:white;}
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[[°º149º°]] Merry Christmas!

Feeling: freaked
I didn't unwrap any gifts yet. But I got a gift that was better than any wrapping paper can hold. Louisiana got snow this year. Do you believe it? SNOWb{color:white;}. It hasn't snowed in this city since I was three days old in 1989. That was so long ago. I think the snow was perfect. Not much of it, but I've never seen snow before, so I will not complain. I took a lot of pictures of it. First when they was only a little bit and then when it started to snowb{color:white;} pretty good. I also have some pictures of my cat. He was so adorable. I put a bow on him and stuck him under the Christmas tree with all the presents. Enjoy the pictures. I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas. Before the snowb{color:white;} fell pretty good: House across the street: This morning after all the snow had fallen: Pictures related to the tree/my kitty: Some clothes I got for my birthday: The rest are just random pictures: Yet again, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Enjoy the pictures and comment to tell me what you think.
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