Listening to: Fall To Pieces - Avril Lavigne
Haven't been on for a few days. Won't be on for a few more days, seeing as I got banned. Turns out she read the site. Everything. Mhm, that went over well. Now I'm banned cuz you're all demon-worshipping-stalkers. Sooo...yeah, I really don't like my mother.
On the bright side, I now know what I am!
A lying, decitful, lazy, selfish, bitch! yay!
Thanks mom, for helping figure that out. (Without the bitch part, but she was thinking it)
Sad thing though, she's probably right. Or maybe she's just said it to me so many times, I'm starting to believe her. *shrugs*
So I have spent the last few days feeling like a piece of crap on the sidewalk, being stepped on. And, go figure, I can't talk to any of the people(You guys and my RL friends) Who could convince me otherwise.
It's getting harder to cry over anything.
I'm tired of fighting. About everything. At least if I'm away from the site, I'm away from most of the fighting. I can not STAND that. And next time it happens, I'm leaving until someone tells me we're actually RPing again.
It's weird...I'm in a hotel, in a city, where there are people everywhere. And I've never been more alone. I can't talk to my mother(Hell no!), I can't talk to my siblings, I can't get to the computer and get on anything that would allow me to talk to the only people that I would actually tell any of this. Soo...I'm alone. Really, really alone.
And I've also never smiled less. This is ottawa! It's one of four places I consider my home. The others are; My moms house, My dads house, and Myrtle Beach. I should be having a hard time to stop smiling! But I can't...Nothings cheering my up. I'm not sure if I feel anymore. Like...I don't know if I can feel anything, emotion-wise. I dunno, it sounds weird, but that's what I feel like. So there. Deal.
Sooo yeah, to sum up.
I really don't like my mother.
I'm going crazy
I don't think I've ever been more alone
I don't think I can feel anything
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY EMAIL ME! PLEASE!!!!! I AM BEGGING YOU! I CAN CHECK MY EMAILS!!
As darkness quickly steals the light
That shined within her eyes
She slowly swallows all her fear
And soothes her mind with lies
Well all she wants and all she needs
Are reasons to survive
A day in which the sun will take
Her artificial light... her light
And it's one more day in paradise