Listening to: But It's Better if You Do - Panic! At the Disco
I need this CD.
The title says it all.
I'm afraid I'm faking it.
I can't tell who I am anymore. Around my friends , I'm hyper, outgoing, funny.
Around the people on the site, I am the same as above, but I'm also not always like that. I can be melancholy, I can be sad, I can be serious.
Around Him, I'm happy, and I'm passionate, and I'm in love.
But I can't find a place to say what I feel.
Around my parents, I'm funny, I'm happy, I'm always smiling.
Or I'm angry, I'm yelling and I'm crying.
Who am I?
I can't tell anymore.
I don't feel like I'm the same person. I feel like I just mold into whatever the person I'm talking to wants, be it immature, bitchy, funny, loud, slutty, ANYTHING
Hence the new layout.
I'm a liar. But I'm still an angel.
I just don't like this feeling.
I was looking at old pictures a few days ago.
I saw myself when I was seven.
I forgot about 7 year old me. I liked her. She was nice, she was quiet, she didn't lie all the time. I wish I could go back.
I wish I could talk to her, tell her never to change, not for anyone, never.
But I can't. And here I am. 8 years down the road. And am I happy?
I can't give you an honest answer. Because sometimes when I'm sad, deep down, I can tell that I'm not really sad, and this time will pass.
But sometimes when I'm happy, deep down, I feel that I'm not really happy.
Its a hard feeling to contend with.
And I don't like it.
'Cause how am I supposed to know what I feel for people?
How am I supposed to honestly say I love you, when I'm not even sure I love myself?
This is why I don't like arguements between friends. Because I know both sides have valid points(usually) but I go with whoever talks to me first...but then I get in the middle, and I say stuff and its usually not good, because I don't always know what I'm saying.
I hate it.
I hate this feeling.
And I hate you.
About the last one.