~394~ Nothing hurts and nothing bleeds
Listening to: Paradise - Vanessa Carlton
Feeling: abandoned

I have tried to write this entry, two. fucking. times.And something keeps screwing up. So let me try this again.

My Mom is going to Myrtle Beach. without me. During bike week.Well fuck, why don't you just slap me right now? Probably hurt less.I know it sounds stupid and I really don't care. But I get really attached to people, places and things. Hell, I still have a blanket that I sleep with.But anwyays. Myrtle Beach is my second home. I know my way around it better then I know my way around St. Catharines(Mike and Kayla can attest to this), I know where to go, what to do, where to stay and where to eat.And my Mom knows this. Very well. And she's going without me. Durning Bike Week.BitchShe just went "oh, by the way, I'm going to Myrtle Beach in May for 4 days."I got pissed.Still am actually.Because that's the last place we went on a family vacation. With my DadAnd my Dad was here last night, dropping off papers for my Mom or somethingAnd he waited in the backyard. And Kimberly and Josh were on the trampoline yelling "watch me, watch me!"And he did. And I could've cried. Because he had to leave.And he just...fit in the backyard, you know? Like he should be there.But he had to go. And I can't remember it.I can't remember what it was like to have two parents in the same house. And I can't remember what it was like to have my Dad wake me up in the morning, and tuck me in at night and make me lunch. I can't remember.And it really really hurts.And...when we're out at a resturant for someone's birthday and we're all at the same table, sitting together and laughing and talking.And I pretend that's how it is all the time. And that I get to go home, and my Dad will be there too.But it's not. And I hate that it's not.I hate it. But it's been 8 years, I'm supposed to be over it. But sometimes, I'm not. Like when I want to go to Myrtle Beach.I wanna be seven and walking on the beach with my parents again.I would give up anything and EVERYTHING to go back to that. And to stay like that forever.And I could go.But she won't take me/us.And that hurts.I cried while making this entry. Which makes me feel stupid.Fin.~Katie

698 hit(s) hologram  
Comments
its not stupid to cry, i'm crying as i read your entry. i love you
-rach
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Human Check: 7*7=


Entry List
[972] gotta get better
[971] woke the fuck up
[97o.5] post script
[97o] i would give it all
[969] riptide
[968] lost
[967] ghost town
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[964] i belive in a thing...
[963]
[962]
[961] i'll be over here
[96o] this is what it feels...
[959] every gambler knows
[958] do it all again
[957] i want your ugly
blank
[955] i walk to the sound of...
[954]
[953]
[952]
[951]
[95o] all i wanted was you
[948]
[947] i need you so much...
[946] if you can't hold on
[945] is this my life?
[944] brace yourself
[943] elastic heart
[942] heaven couldn't wait
[941] what now
[94o] get lucky
[939] pigeon feathers
[938] and i will hold on
[973] youth without youth
[972] drinking cheap wine on...
[971]
[97o] bravado
[968] it takes an ocean not...
[967] one great city!
[966] and here we go again
[965] toxic
[964] but i keep coming up...
[963] float on
[962] breathe me
[961] no angels
[96o] jolene
[959]
[957] please don't take him
[956]
[955] rumor has it
[954] a cripple walks amongst...
[953] this time we know
[952] all along it was a fever
[951] you shouldn't have to...
[95o] again, again
[949] i think you already...
[948] gravity
[947] on the wreck of '86
[946] YES
[945] accidentally in love
[944] the grand optimist
[943] ever after
[942] caught in the slightest...
[94o] well i've been cheated
[939] you were the first one
[938]
[937] i stay in time and...
[936] you're not ill, and i'm...
[935] bury me in satin
[934] stop calling
[933] the wolves
[932] the end
[931] where'd you go?
[93o] i will follow you into...
[929] every step i take
[928] pure imagination
[927] sunday morning
[925] dig it
[923] hands on me
[922] once upon a time
[921] darkness is a harsh term
[929] first cut is the deepest
[927] take this sinking ship
[926] you've got a nerve
[925] don't wake me up
[923] it's always the same
[922] do you want to
[921] auld lange syne
[92o] in case you failed to...
[919] we used to wait
[918] get fighted
[917] it's about time
[916] hello hello baby
[915] why don't you love me?
[914] roll away your stone
[913] stop telephonin' me
[912] on a bed of nails she...
[911] hello, hello
[91o]
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[9o8] l is for the way you...
[9o7] dream within a dream
[9o6] this ain't a scene
[9o5] in this city of...
[9o4] inside me, a lunatic...
[9o3] i can't live
[9o2] if you think that a...
[9o1] we were the kings and...
[9oo] there, i just said it
[899]
[897] how long must you pay...
[896] I got it from my momma
[895] i'll be back for good...
[894] Making Good
[893] it's nobodys battle but...
[892] According to you
[891] and loving a music man...
[89o] I'm a free bitch, baby
[889] 500 miles
[888] paris holds the key to...
[887] this is not what i...
[884] mobile
[882] this could be anywhere
[88o] she's a mess
[879] lions!
[878] a river in a time of...
[877] moonlight sonata
[876] lord listen lover
[875] if we ever meet again
[874] beatles or the rolling...
[873] seven day fool
[872] me against the music
[871] open your eyes
[87o] paranoid android
[869] need you now
[868] the other side of the...
[866] WE STAND ON GUARD FOR...
[865] from far and wide, o...
[864] with truth north strong...
[863] we see thee rise
[862] with glowing hearts
[861] in all our sons command
[86o] true patriot love
[859] our home and native land
[858] oh canada
[857] i'll get him hot
[856] our home and native land
[855] old crows
[854] don't call my name
[853] forever & always
[852] i lied
[851] you are all that i have
[85o] go out and smash it
[849] i know you tried to...
[848] won't you make me stay?
[847]
[846] i get wherever i'm going
[845] where there's a will
[844] that girl possessed
[843] to a friend
[842] rebellion
[841] Meet me halfway
[84o] All I wanted
[839] merry christmas, baby
[838] misguided ghosts
[837] the only exception
[836] even if you cannot hear...
[835] closing time
[834] diamonds best friend
[833] windows
[832] run where you'll be safe
[831] freakum dress
[83o] when you give me...
[829] happy birthday
[828] show me your teeth
[827] medicine man
[826] patron tequila
[825] speechless
[824] could we fix you if you...
[823] rah rah rah-ah-ah
[822] hate on me
[820] tik tok
[819]
[818]
[817] masterpiece theater
[816] the world is a vampire
[815] politk
[813] i never meant to cause...
[810] i took a chance
[8o9] jump then fall
[8o8] isolation
[8o7]
[8o2]
[8o1] you either wanna be...
[8oo] are you hopeless?
[799] i'm gonna let you down
[798] that shit makes me...
[797] i'm permanently black...
[796] cell block tango
[795]
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[793] the one thing that i...
[792] in gods hands
[791]
[79o] why did you change...
[789] you've got a friend in...
[788] thunderstruck
[787] video killed the radio...
[786] dancing in the dark
[785] one love
[783] stand by me
[782] hold it, i'm about to...
[781] Good girls go bad
[78o] don't trust me
[779] things were good when...
[778] we are not the kids we...
blank
[776] i ain't fuckin' scared...
[775] it's a death trap
[744] i'm king of the world
[743] billy jean is not my...
[742] i'd be good to you
[741] you gave me a life i...
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[739] la vie en rose
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[737] tramps like us, baby we...
[736] this town rips the...
[735] Rosalita, jump a little...
[734] that's what you get for...
[733] thought this wouldn't...
[732] you said look at me, i...
[731] 31 days.
[73o] i feel your ghost when...
[729] they're not talking to...
[728] j'adore
[727] Hardwire
[726] the war won't stop
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[724] You are
[723] Why?
[722] Blinded by the light
[721] Yeah, I saw sparks
[72o]
[719] you put on quite a show
[718] sharks & danger
[716] The Fame
[715] bleed it out
[714] Adrenaline running...
[713] You've got a lot of...
[712] It's not easy to erase...
[711] Postcards from far away
[71o] Upgrade You
[7o9] happy birthday to me
[7o8] shut the fuck up
[7o7] Glass of Water
[7o6] Don't you know that's...
[7o5] Give me the music
[7o4] You self destructive...
[7o3] NaNoWriMo
[7o2] I've run out of...
[7o1] Maybe you're too old to...
[7oo] But I don't believe...
[699] So many times betrayed
[697] We will not let time...
[696] Thanks for acting like...
[695] You've got to be...
[694] I feel like a monster
[693] Paris, j'taime!
[691] La ferrasie
[69o]
[689] Kiss him goodbye
[688] In a haze, a stormy haze
[687] Doing what we do,...
[686] Vertigo
[685] Memories like embers...
[684] Can anybody out there...
[683] Hate brought to it's...
[682] Watch her as she flew
[681] Back to Vegas Skies
[68o] Jesus, when it rains,...
[679] So now that your whole...
[678] Is that all there is?
[677] All in all, you're just...
[676] Steal my Sunshine
~166~
[675] I am still dreaming
[674] You belong with me, not...
[673] Poor little tin man
[672] The day I found it...
[671] Twisted logic
[67o] The truth is, I miss you
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[638] Strange
[637] Is it bright where you...
[636] I'm typing this from my...
[636] All that you break
[635] Gimme More
[633] Anything at all
[632] My Apologies
[63o] When I Grow Up
[631] This is how it ends
[629] You just might get it
[628] Be careful what you...
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[626] Every morning
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[625] Disturbia
[623] Fuck this.
[619] She said, next time...
[622] Glow
[618] Some kind of fairytale
[617] Paradise Burning
[616] The Main Universe
[615] Nothing Special
[613] Play with Fire
[614] Deja Vu
[611] It's getting hot in here
[61o] Ain't No Other Man
[6o9] Please
[6o8] Faraway, so close...
[6o7] No one lives forever
[6o6] Everything changes
[6o4] Could be blue
[6o5] Your little spies
[6o3] I think I might know
[6o2] And it was all Yellow
[6o1] Viva La Vida
[6oo] I want to be your...
[599] Hold your mistake up
[598] Thanks for making me a...
[597] We're all wasted
[596] Teenage Wasteland
[595] Breakin' Dishes
[594] Fly away
[593] Hakuna Matata
[592] This burden's not a...
[591] In New York, I lost it...
[59o] Sick of toy soldiers
[589] The road to hell is...
[588] My family tree is...
[587] Dancing in the moonlight
[586] And I could write a...
[585] Calabria
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[583] I's the B'y
[582] Good weather for...
[58o] All's quiet on the...
[579] blank
[577] Pedal to the metal
[578] So caught up
[573] TNG with a side of...
[572] It doesn't matter how...
[571] Oh penguin, do you care...
[57o] What goes around
[569] And you give yourself...
[568] Hold me
[567] Untitled
[566] I'm not paralyzed
[565] Between who you are,...
[564] White shadows
[563] You were my shelter and...
[562] I'll be home for...
[561] So this is continuous...
[56o] Miami
[559] All that you break
[558] Welcome to the 60's
[557] Jingle bell rock
[556] It's too late to...
[555] My body is a cage
[554] So many times betrayed
[553] Come Together
[552] Don't Let Me Down
blank
[551] In the Backseat
[55o] I've just seen a face
[549] Why does it hurt when I...
[547] Thunder Road
[548] Did I waste it?
[546] I'm comin' home
[545] Don't stay up and wait...
[544] Hey batter, batter,...
[543]
[542] S
[540] C
[541] E
[539] R
[538] E
[537] T
[536] I
[535] S
[534] L
[533] E
[532] T
[531] T
[53o] I
[529] N
[528] G
[527] G
[526] O
[525]
[524]
[522] e
[523] b
[521] L
[52o] I
[519] E
[518] v
[517 e
[516]
[515] E
[514] V
[513] E
[512] R
[511] Y
[51o] T
[5o9] H
[5o8] I
[5o7] N
[5o6] G
[5o4] Y
[5o3] O
[5o2] U
[5o1] K
[5oo] N
[459] O
[458] W
[456] S
[457] I
[454] R
[455] W
[45o] AHHHHHHH
[452] N
[453] O
[451] G
[449] You were everything...
[448] Nothing hurts, and...
[447] Will you still call me...
[446] Ny Batteri
[444] It's all I can do
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[443] Rawr.
[442]
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[44o] Come back to me when...
[439] Think we can last...
[438] On a bed of nails, she...
~436~ Knocking on Heavens door
~435~ This doesn't hurt.
~434~ Let's get these teen...
~433~
~431~ I miss you so bad.
~432~ I think I wanna know...
~430~ The day that you...
~429~ Point form
~428~ You don't know how...
~427~ The Hardest part
~426~ If you've gots the...
~425~ Perfect situation
~424~ I was blind, I could...
~423~ Building a mystery
~422~ Black betty
~422~
~421~ Let there be love
~419~ Let's Go Oilers
~420~ All your dreams are made
~418~ Yeah, this whole world...
~417~ Open up your heart now,...
~416~ I'm just shot, then we...
~415~ We're falling apart to...
~414~ I'm pretty when I lie
~412~ I tried to be perfect,...
~411~ Superhero
~412~ That every time I turn...
~410~ You were always crazy...
~409~ Can't explain all the...
~408~ Will I never learn?
~407~ Ain't Love the sweetest...
~406~ Just for the record,...
~405~ I drove the other ones...
~404~ And I won' tell no one...
~403~ We went back to Naboo
~402~ But I'm afraid that I,...
~401~ It's getting hot in here
~400~ That's the Way it...
~399~ You heard me in my...
~398~ When you thought that...
~397~ Shake that thing, miss...
~396~ Am I retarded or am I...
~395~ Boy you've got me...
~394~ Nothing hurts and...
~393~ It's something...
~391~ Next is a trip to the...
~392~ It's about time that I...
~39o~ Cause we're all about...
~388~ I am terrified of all...
~387~ There was a terrible...
~385~ Everytime you close...
~386~ December songs no...
~384~ It's a lip!
~383~ Adia, I do believe I...
~382~ FUCKING! AMISH!
~381~ Spinning in the...
~38o~ I got CCTV,...
~379~ CHUCK NORRIS!
~378~ Buy me things and I'll...
~377~ Lit up like a cigar
~376~ You gave me nothing and...
~375~ Digimons are the...
~374~ Welcome to the fallout
~374~ Digimon, digital...
~374~ Somebody get me out of...
~372~ But I'm afraid that I,...
~371~ Dislocation
~369~ What a shame the poor...
~368~ I don't know what's...
~365~ I wait for the words on...
~367~ Condemnation
~364~ Crossed lines that I...
~363~ Its just a moment, this...
~362~ Lights go out and I...
~361~ Cause you're everywhere...
~358~ If I could find you...
~359~ Mormons are bad
~36o~ Held so high, fell so...
~356~ Don't have time for a...
~353~ No one can find the...
~354~ I'm missing your laugh,...
~355~ In high speed
~352~ You give me something I...
~351~ Don't pretend to hold...
~35o~ I just can't get you...
~349~ It seems like forever...
~348~ I know its done for...
~347~ All I Want is You
~346~ Stop, turn, take a look...
~645~ I wanted you to know, I...
~364~ I don't think they'd...
~363~ If I stumble, catch me...
~362~ I wasn't jumping, for...
~361~ I can't live with or...
~36o~ Exhale, another wasted...
~358~ Cut the Curtains, the...
~357~ Do what I please, gonna...
~356~ Tear yourself in two...
~355~ She is raging
~353~ You've been keeping...
~354~ Slowly breaking, slowly...
~352~ Even the Best fall down...
~35o~ Nobody said it was easy.
~349~ You make me feel like I...
~348~ I know the truth about...
~347~ I know I'm dead on the...
~346~ STILL SICK!
~345~ *coughs up a lung*
~344~ There's no way I want...
~343~ Light up, light up, as...
~342~ Scream without raising...
~341~ EE! GRAMMYS!
~34o~ Wtf?
~359~ She moves in mysterious...
~358~ You said the brains I...
~357~ So save your scissors...
~356~ Lyrics a la mode
~355~ Can't find yourself,...
~354~ Tell you I'm sorry
~353~ Here's my heart, I'll...
~352~ Can't stand the beat
~35o~ Come on, my star is...
~351~ I Caught Fire
~349~So here I go, scream my...
~347~ I'm alive, I'm being...
~346~ Why Do I Love you?
~345~ Everywhere you go, you...
~343~ I am broken when I am...
~342~ We're at a place called...
~341~ SQUEE!!!
~34o~ R.I.P.
~339~ If you wanna kiss the...
~338~ Broken back to the...
~337~ But you taught me I...
~335~ Wishing for her broken...
~323~ Staralfur
~324~ And you give yourself...
~322~ Somewhere past this...
~321~ We're falling apart to...
~32o~ Quiz time.
~319~ Finding it hard to...
~318~ Touch me, take me to...
~317~I Want To Run, I want To...
~316~ Want a trip inside your...
~315~ Little late...
~314~ Seriously now...
~313~ What I did in 2oo5
~312~ BAH! HIGH SPEED IS...
~311~ (this is the real one)...
~31o~ HAPPY NEW YEARS!(Well...
~3o9~ Hehe. I always knew I...
~3o8~ AHHHHHHH!!!
~3o7~ Wedding
~3o6~ v.v
~3o5~
~3o3~ Wow...Long way...
~3o2~ Blah.
~3o1~
~3oo~
~299~ SURVEY!
~297~ The kilt pin is UP!
~296~ (TODAY!)
~295~ (TOMMOROW!)
~294~(3days) PARTAY!
~293~ (4days) *gigglesmore*
~292~ (5days)
~291~ (1odays)
~29o~ (13days) *giggles*
~289~ (17days) YAY!
~288~ (19days) Purpling.
~287~ (19days) SURVEY TIME!
~286~ (2odays) The countdown...
~285~ Overreaction much?
~284~ I don't want to go...
~283~
~282~ I don't care who you...
~281~
~28o~
~279~
~278~
~276~
~275~ Sooooo
~274~
~273~
~272~
~271~
~27o~ My dad rocks all socks
~269~ Screwed
~268~ HOCKEY
~267~ Too lazy for a real...
~266~
~265~ I demand you ph3ar the...
~263~
~264~ Hyperventilation
~261~ Moshtacular
~26o~ The Hell Song - Sum41
~258~
~259~
~257~ ...
~256~ AH!
~255~ crap
~253~ Sooooo
~254~ XD
~251~ PURPLE
~25o~ Every girl wants
~252~ No better send off
~249~ w00t w00t
~247~
~248~
~244~ gym. is. evil.
~246~
~245~ HAHAHAH!
~243~
~242~
~241~
~239~
~24o~
~237~ SURVEY!
~238~ Confuseded
~236~ *sneezes*
~235~ sick. Ugh.
~233~ A whole week
~232~ Guys. Sucks.
~231~ W00T W00T!
~23o~ woo
~228~ YAY! TIME FOR A SURVEY!
~229~ I have a question...
~226~ END OF ZE WORLD!
~225~ Singleishness...
~224~ A Beautiful Mistake...
~227~ I love this
~223~ Don't screw with me
~222~ YAY!
~221~ Awww ><
~219~
~22o~ >< I hate crying
~218~ Inexplicable
~217~ Why?
~216~
~215~ DAMN!!
~214~ EEEEE!!!
~213~ EE! *fangirl scream*
~212~ QUIZZES!
~211~
~21o~ Break My Heart Lyrics
~2o8~
~2o9~
~2o7~
~2o6~ O.O
~2o5~
~2o4~
~2o3~ AHH! SCHOOL!
~2o2~
~2o1~
~2oo~
~199~
~198~
~196~
~197~
~195~ He's dead...NOT REALLY!...
~194~ good news/Bad news.
~193~
~192~
~191~
~19o~
~189~
~188~
~187~
~185~
~186~
~185~
~182~ HECK YES I'M BACK!
~183~ WORLDS LONGEST ENTRY!...
~18o~
~181~ AH! MISS YOU GUYS!!
~177~
~179~
~178~ PURPLE! (real entry >.>)
~176~ PURPLE!
~173~
~174~
~175~
~172~
~17o~ RANDOMEST POEM EVER!!
~171~
~167~ COLDS EAT MY SOUL!
~169~
~168~
~165~ SUNBURN!
~163~
~161~ SICK! GAH!
~162~ WOOO!
~159~ TIRED! GAH!
~16o~
~155~ Shiny
~156~
~154~
~153~
~152~
~150~
~151~
~148~
~146~ REALLY LONG QUIZ!
~147~ AHAH!
~145~
~142~
~143~ GAH!
~144~
~141~
~14o~ BLAH!
~135~
~137~ Oook
~138~
~139~
~133~
~131~
~13o~
~127~
~123~
~124~
~122~ ^^
~12o~
~121~ Really weird survey...
~119~ GAH! PAIN!
~118~
~117~
~116~
~115~ FCUK!!!!!
~113~
~114~ Help...
~112~
~111~
~1o9~
~1o6~...Well I WAS feeling...
~1o5~ Feeling better...I think
~1o4~
~1o3~
~1o2~
~1oo~
~1o1~
~99~
~98~
~97~
~95~
~96~
~91~
~92~ GRR!!
~94~
~9o~
~88~
~86~ You wanna know how bored...
~85~ AH HA!!
~84~
~83~ GAH! HOT!!
~82~
~81~ Ummm
~8o~
~79~
~78~
~77~
~74~
~72~
~68~ BORED!
~7o~
~66~ Ha!
~63~
~61~ More lyrics
~6o~ bORED...
~59~ I think this is the most...
~58~
~57~!
~56~ Remembering...
~55~
~53~ Be My Escape lyrics
~52~ I think I'm scared...
~51~
[5o] MUD BOG!! WOO HOO!
[48]
[49] TO ALL ME FRIENDS!!
[47] STAR WARS COMES OUT...
[46] LOOK! NEW COLORS AND...
[45]
[43] CAKE
[44]
[42] *bangs head on desk*
[41] Random Poem
[4o] HEY LOOK! ANOTHER RANDOM...
[39] FRIDAY!
[38] AHHH! Con't
[37] AHH!!
[36] Don't wear kilts when...
[35] Someday We'll Know Lyrics
[34] Learnin To Breathe Lyrics
[33] *blinks*
[31] End of the world as we...
[3o] WTF??
[29] Alright...Breathe...
[28] AHHHHHH!
[27] Shouldn't I be...
[26] Mondays SUCK!!
[25] Paper Heart - All...
[24] Moshing hurts...
[23] Woo?
[22] random survey 2
[21] 3rd worst night EVER
[2o] ^_^
[19] ....
[18] CD! YAY!
[17] Stand Alone
[15] random survey
[14] Random Poem
[16] Weirded-out
[13] Something about...
[12] *blink*
[1o] Freaked out
[11] Quiz Result
[7] Never enough
[8] Bored
[9] Ignored
[6] Icky
[5] Rockin' Out!
[4] HYPER!
[3] GAH!
[2] *sigh*
[1] New diary
[32] >.
~54~
876 post(s)