Listening to: Heros and Thieves - Vanessa Carlton
I forgot to mention I got a haircut.
And I really like this song.
I felt like I should write another entry to comment on the past ten minutes since writing the last one. Mostly because I forgot a bunch of stuff. Like we're over the honeymoon stage, but I really liked that stage, and I want to bring it back, but I don't know how, and its not like I can drop a hint. I'm so bad with hints, I'd have to hit him over the head with a shovel or something, because otherwise, NOBODY gets it. I think I'm the definition of "too subtle". I don't know, I think this comes up because for the past few days our conversations...to put it nicely, have somewhat sucked. I don't know, I think I just get annoyed when people take forever to reply to a question, or a statement. I'm in a random mood, so I say random things, and I'm always hoping that somebody can understand. Of course, nobody can really understand, because that would involve me confessing a lot, and I don't like confessing a lot, I like people to have this picture of Katie that doesn't involve the things that I should confess. Although they aren't really huge things I guess. They're just weird things.
I say weird a lot, maybe I should pick a new word.
I think I'm afraid that when I go away, nobody will miss me. I mean, when other people go away, I miss them a lot, and I'd like them to know that. But when I say it, I always feel stupid, so I guess somewhere along the way, I stopped saying it. And I haven't been without internet for more than 3 days in a horribly long time, but even then I text, and I feel stupid about that afterwards, because I don't really think he was thinking about me, which makes me insecure, but I mean come on, at least reply to the text with a "i less than three you" or something, seriously. I am a girl with security issues, and sometimes I need stupid stuff like that. I don't want to say that out loud though, that's probably a bad thing. Although he did text when he was in Florida, that's good. I wish I was in Florida. Except that I'm boycotting Florida, because I don't REALLY want to go there, because everybody goes there. It's like the town bicyle, or a hooker or something. Everybody's ridden it. Except people don't ride Florida, but you get the point, right?
Probably not. I don't even know who I'm talking to. The other voices in my head probably.
Okay, enough random writing for now, I really think I'm done for tonight.
Note to self: Stop thinking about boyfriend. He can live without you, you can live without him. Its cool, seperate people, this is exactly what you hate about other people in relationships. BE LIKE RACHAEL AND DAVE. Except Rachael and Dave get to make out with pop rocks, and I don't. And they can go on dates, and I can't. Oh damnit, maybe that's why I spend all my time thinking...
Note to self: Stop sharing every thought you have about the boyfriend.
I think the second ones better. I'm so neurotic.