Listening to: Nothing
So last night I saw Marianas Trench live. They were pretty damn good, and I was honestly surprised. I'm used to hearing songs on the radio, and then hearing them live, and they sound like total shit. With the exception of U2, and Coldplay. Kinda makes me mad, because if you want me to be paying 25 bucks for a CD, you'd damn well better be able to actually play the goddamned music.
But that's another rant, for another time.
blah, more later
Time for the more later part.
Anyways, at the concert last night, I ran into Mallory Daely. Now, me and her haven't actually talked since like Grade 8, and we weren't even great friends. But last night, she spotted me, and, out of all things, she said hi. She looked surprised, like this wasn't the sort of deal I would show up at (I admit, it usually isn't, although it would've been better if I had some friends along; I love my brother, but it's just...so not cool.) And then we talked for like two minutes. And then I moved on, because I felt awkward.
On a sidenote, I think I'm a very awkward person when I'm not around my friends or family. People that I know sort of well, but not really...they make me awkward. So yeah. I don't like them.
Anyways. Suprises of all heavenly surprises, she talked to me again today.
Is that all it took? I just had to show up at some cool indie concert, and I'm "in"? Because that's totally bull if it is.
Although, to be fair, she was most likely being nice. I mean I know we don't run in the same circles, or have common friends, or...y'know, anything in common at all, whatsoever. But if it was Bria...well, I'd know the intent then.
Ugh. She still makes me angry.
Meh. That's basically it. Nothing really exciting going on in my life. Done my co-op hours, done my projects. Summer is coming up, and God am I ever ready for it.
It's been a long year. I try not to think of myself this time last year, 'cause as much as I love myself now, I miss having someone else love me too.
I miss the easy conversations me and Dimitri used to have, and I miss the SC not always having drama, and I miss my grandpas, and I miss the way that my grandma used to be, and I miss the fact that it didn't always feel like my roof was caving in on me, and the fact that I didn't have to talk to the courts, or worry about my mom losing her house, or trying to figure out who's lying, and who's not.
But can't do much about all that, now can I?
I just...wish sometimes.
And I really miss TNG. I mean, really miss it. Two or three days ago, I was feeling sad, and stupid, so I went on there, and I looked up old threads, like the one where Brink gets killed, and Daniel dies, and they made me cry, because it felt like somebody actually died when I read it the first time. I know Da or Dimitri didn't get it, but at that time, for the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to loose somebody, and it hurt like bloody hell.
I suppose they also didn't know how much of myself I put into my characters. Especially those characters. Almost as much as I put into Kat, in all her incarnations. So it was hard to deal with, because I was just...It was like reliving it. I know it sounds stupid, but it's not the first time I've said it, and it won't be the last.
Did you know, almost the first(well, maybe like tenth) thought after me and Dimitri broke up was "What the hell are all my characters gonna do?" and I felt more sorry for them, than I did for myself.
Still hurts to RP Scarlett without her Fitz. Poor girl won't ever recover.
And that makes me incredibly sad. Go ahead and argue that she isn't real, but in my head(okay, bad example) she's more real than a lot of people I've met.
So now that you all think I'm crazy as all hell...