Listening to: Straumme - Sigur Ros
The Year of The Change.
Kind of a bit late in the year to start, maybe. But I have braces, a budget, and now a gym membership, and I can do this, I can.
I'm going to hate it, and myself in a couple weeks, and I'm probably going to try and skip going, and I have no idea how I'm going to afford hockey AND my car payment now, so this is retarded and stupid, and I don't know why I paid all at once, except that now I've got a years worth and maybe it'll guilt me into going when I don't want to, maybe this is the beginning of the rest of my life, right here.
I can fix this--I can make myself better, I know I can. I believe in myself, right now, and I'm not going to in about a week, but I can, I can, I can, God please.
But seriously, fuck, how can I screw up my budget this badly before I even start sticking to it? Jesus christ.
I can do it though. I can do this. I can be better, and I can visit Iceland, and I can make it this year, I know I can, I know I can, I know I can, I need to stop giving up on myself and my dreams and my goals because I want more than this, I dream bigger than just this.
I'll never be happy with just this, so I have to do better, and be better so I can be more.
I have to, there's no other options anymore.