I don't know if i can say anything interesting right now. I thought if i'd just start writing, it might just come out of me, but... it's not. I just feel like relxaing but somehow that seems wrong to me, like i should be doing a million other things, particularly sleeping, seeing as how i have a big day tomorrow. I'm thirsty as hell for milk, but there's none in the fridge. It sucks being me. I'm so horridly ashamed of what i do. I have so much to offer the world and i'm so scared to be rejected that i can't bear to bear it all in public, which is what i'm supposed to supposably doing with my life. What i'm really doing with my life is ... i don't want to say wasting because i do make efforts and strides towards my goals. Yet... something's missing, like reality.

I guess i'm looking for attention from this thing, and assurance that i'm not alone and that i can be understood... i'm hoping to find someone that will understand me... Or that i will learn how to understand life. Caring about things is hard. It hurts you when they let you down, and when you let them down. and not caring is so much more profitable, too. I just don't know what i'm gonna do, honestly. I just gotta keep moving along.