I found a picture of the first guy i fell in love with and he looks very happy. im happy for him but i am very sad aboot it. he was the first guy i fell in love with and i wish i could have been with him forever..... so right now i am between a rock and a hard place...... i want to get ahold of him but i dont know if i should.. if anny one has anny sigjestions please help me out i dont know what to do..... i would realy like to get ahold of him but if i do and he dont respond i would be crushed and i dont want to be sad anny more...... WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!!!!! i want to cry JONATHAN

i got my junk pierced........ fuck yah dogy!!!!!! love jonathan AKA ( mojo meow mix)

why did they change preferences on this thing??? i dont know how to chang it now the other way was easer. im in the library.

its been along time since i have been on here im at my friends house right now.... i got rid of the asshole.... went to wintercarnival and i am blond now they have more fun!!!!!!

well i spent the night at my boyfriends house and.... we sorta got into a fight he grabed my wrist because i wouldent give him his liter and it sorta brused.... men are mean..... well after that we had a "NICE" night... "wink wink" <3 jonathan

ok for all of my friends these poems explane every thing.... This!!!!!! Unhappy This is sloppy This should hurt Razor slices down the vain Blood drips on the snow A life goes out Truth!!!! Emotions on my sleeve Like you wouldn’t believe Happy one minute Fucked up the next What’s coming If I only knew Something cool Something blue Fucked up thoughts Stupid moments Blood drips on the snow A life goes out…. Down the drain Blood washes down the drain Final release of the pain I’m not insane Just full of pain All the hopes All I could be Gone with the slicing Of the knife Snow falls outside these broken walls A life goes out with the water Down the drain…

im in the library and im typing out my poetry.... yah poetry... i think im going to break up with him i dont seem to be geting anny were with him so yah... he held my hand a couple of days ago and we have kissed once and i didnt feel any spark or anything... and that is sad..... <3 jonathan

well befor i get into the thing about MEN. my christmas went good i opend presents with my family then i went to my friends house then caroling... on tusday of that week i went to cort and i owe then $450 on april 10 i meet my boyfriend there....lol and we started going out on wendsday.... he ditched me on new years to go drink with his ex boyfriend..... then i spent the night there last night.. and i am now at the highschool in the library so if any of my friends read this stop down and see me..... love jonathan

BOW DOWN BOW DOWN BEFOR THE POWER OF SANTA OR BE CRUSHED BE CRUSHED BYYYYYYYYYYYY HIS JOLLY BOOTS OF DOOM!!!!! *LAUGHS MINIACLY*

i have moved back with the she BITCH from hell... also known as my mother... she yeled at me for a whole 15 minutes yestreday.... well i am at the library right now so im going to try to catch all of you befor you get to the bus. love jonathan

Im dieing slowly, put me in my pine box, let me have my eternal sleep, till i am reunited with you, put me out of my misury, deep cuts, bottel of pills, bullets, it dont matter to me, it never has. put me in my pine box, i donot deserve to be here, i didnt deserve you, you deserved my tears, my blood, my prairs. put me out of my misury, i dont deserve this, i never did, im dieing slowly, i hurt, thinking of you, i have my frozen heart, i keep it in a box, in a corner, where there is no light, bang bang, all i need is one, then no more sun, no more night, no more me, there is no more you, its been so long, i think of you always, but in the end i seen it all, in my dreams, the car, you and your husband, the acident, i hurd the screams. let me have my eternal sleep, blood flowing, sleep coming, its deep this time, you were all that i had, im so lonly, all of the tears i have shed, wont bring you back, ive reached the bottom, of this whole, depresed, and suicidal, let me die, so i can fly, be by you again, i miss you, and love you, here i come, to see you. cuting slowly, blood drips on the snow, a life goes out....... i just wrought this tonight at 12:08 im thinking of my best friend who died when i was in 5th grade in a horific car acident. dont wory im not going to kill my self. but i am being riped apart from the inside.. love always jonathan

im in a some what content mood today and ya know its not that bad today. its starting to look up.

this depreshion is geting worse and worse as the days go by. and i know around christmas and new years will be even worse i started to cry lastnight when i was helping lara and her mom put up there tree. thismorning i just didnt want to get up and do anything, but go back into the mindnumbing sleep that is my only getaway. and i dont think i will be able to get rid of this even if i get help so i try to get ahold of my friends but no one realy trys to get ahold of me which makes it worse. well i am rambling so im geting off. love you all.

well my friend wants to have a kid but her feonce cant have them and i have been wating for a help from my best friend but i guss she hasnt been on here in a wile so i have to have some feed back. if anny of you were in this position would you help or not????? they want me to help them!!!! please help me!!!!!! <3 jonathan

i was in the hospital yesterday. every one knows that the spine is suposto be curved twice right well mine is straight with a little bit of a curve at the top at my sholders. so i think there might be somthing seariously rong with me. i will talk to you all latter i have an apointment today and i have to go. love jonathan

for all of you who know me you now that i was in jail. well i got a letter from walmart co. and they said they would drop the charges if i was to pay them $200.00 well that would be nice and all but the problem is that i dont have a job so if anny of my friends have anny info on were i can do odd jobs it would be great if they would get a hold of me. id apreshiate it. thanks jonathan

happy thanksgiving to all of those special people in my life,millisa,kristy,ray,rachel, carla and veronica corningstone. and every one i for got to mention have a very happy thanks giving and remember that even thought the onenes you love are not with you they are alway there in your hearts and if they are in your hearts they are never that far away.

well i guss only one of my friends realy care about me. i was in jail and when i got out only one person wrote in my diary after i wrote about me being in there. wow i guss i know who my friends are.... jonathan ps thanks warren love ya.

the food suckes i should know i was in there since friday.. i wall talk about it latter in here. but im out love jonathan

Each of us has a hidden place Somewhere deep within ourselves Where we go to get away To be alone to be ourselves But every once in a while whether by chance or design Someone finds a way into that secret place That person adds perspective to our hidden realm The quietly settle down in their own little corner We call that person a friend