I did it!!!

I really did it

This whole night!

It was my night!

I told her

I did

She knows I love her

That’s it

This whole last week I been reciting

Over and over again

With bloody eyes and tears

To the mirror

I have been so scared

But now she knows

Heart pumping faster again,

Out of breath,

Light headed,

With no control over my eyes

This feeling takes over,

More then I can describe,

But she knows

To a point

I like to think

I had it all planed out

But it never seems to go that route

But then again,

It’s just how it was meant to be

I pictured me just going to her work

Today or yesterday

(the day does not start for me till the sun raise)

Walkin in there and getin it if off my chest

I wanted to tell her and walk away but

Her boss was there and was watchin our ass

Ate some good food

And shit followed us there

And yea

It turned out better then my dreams could make for me

I made sure I did

I did tell her

I had wanted to say this”

You know that I have always loved you right

More then anything this world has to give

More then myself

And for a long time I have been scared of this but

Im not scared awaymore

I want you to know this

For a while I have been trying to make u hate me

And to think that I have be succeeding

Scares the fuck out of me

More then anything

I aways want u to be part of my life

If not there next by my side, then a phone call away cause

I never want to lose u

And I sit here type my songs

With no more true regrets

I know and u

Will know

That the songs has been here

They wont leave

No worries

I Am Free

That is it…

336 hit(s) (0 comments) | are you sure?  

... by the Terminator!!!

i love sayin this

its my shinin moment in my storm

shit! how many people can say such a thing

well, yea, about 22,000

and i hope this bit of absurdity will comfort those that are deeply afected by this cause this sum serious shit

i dont know what to think of this summer

it started out so a to b then c and 1,2,3 and the fan just keeps getin the best of me

and yea

i got really behind in my class

i didnt go buy the books

i thought i could get by

my friend bought the books

we were suppose to be like a team, i guess

help each other

but i mostly blame myself why that couldnt happen

i think i love her

i just need to accept it, i guess

one book sort of got me, i think

i didnt do workd

when your already out of breath its hard to sprint again

and the last paper

shit, i wish i could of made my pamphlet

cause if then i was to fail

i would still be content

i wanted to do it on what i feel passionate about

drum roll please... yes, fuckin bicycles

i am a loser but a happy one most of the time

it would of been something

i know its dry but it just needed a little rum to make it fun and puns and so many other techniques

and it would of been sweet

even if i failed

i would at least been true to myself

but no

and i dont know

a c or worse

i cant get a b

i know that at least

well i did get a c

and is happy as can be

i type the above on the 3rd

now its the 7th

the next 2 semesters are goin to be tough

but hopefully in the end i get 2 AAs

one in history and

one in philosophy and

their not even my major

at least not yet

im so funny

im goin to take classes at a higher university for a ba in philosophy followin the law path while

at the same time go back at place im at now for geology

i will eventually get a ba in that and not philosophy then

im thinkin of takin off

maybe to alaska

make a fortune then come home

i wish

but maybe

i wanna get some experience in petroleum

then come home

get job that i just lost

save money

get ba in philosophy

and then hopefully before im 35 become a lawyer

think about it

a lawyer with 10 years of petroleum production experience

i would love to work with the government

like the epa

that would be cool

im such a nerd

we will see though

time will tell and

life will happen...

i got sum tattoos a few weeks after i turnd 21

i havent typed about it here and thought now is good time

i really like them i will get more

it was a trip today

i was volunteering at the bike kicten

got no job might as well do something good

and i gave friend a ride home

he is main mechanic he is like 50

a nice guy

a good guy

and he was so down today

just piss off at everything

and he was talkin about getin old

it made me feel something i dont know what

we are all goin to get old

our youthful sexy bodies are goin to get old

and then we die but

before that people that are important to us will die first

we will look in the mirror and remember what we use to look like

it will be a journey to death that will have ups and downs with pit holes and broken images but more importantly with moments of heaven simply sublime

just make the best of it, i guess

oh well

367 hit(s) (9 comments) | are you sure?  
once again

like i having tired this path

but maybe rabites will be coming out of my hat ha ah yea

the whole week the whole..

trying to find it again

that madness

wait just wait till there can be no other but my mistakes

my fault just mine to wait till there the end

damn here again i waited

and put off

and ran for it and got at least 2 for sure Bs


bullshit i just run it like an iron fisted champion

an irond willd fuck up

and 2 Bs


like to think that 3 three bs

and mabe just mabe 4 bs cause that would be so much better and yea

but the story of my life but i did not shape up like i been complaining to myself

i created my own hell

nothing else is new? ha

and i have to take it as it is

the feeling of relief breaths

oh well im not there yet

1 more year

so many ideas

and yea

i got my letter and i am just a bit dissapoited

i guess

i couldnt really get on it

i couldnt really do like i said i could do

what is my problem?


thats it

oh well

i still feel like singin

i still feel like breathin

i still feel like fukin it up cause so so much more different and fucked up that i cant explaind

growin up happens and it shall be imbraced and when the time comes

it shall surely be seen

dont get me wrong

cause once again

i created my own hell...

422 hit(s) (3 comments) | are you sure?  

happy day to all

hope all went well

besides me being late

i trip out on ok

three oks and the last was the best



i cease to amaze myself

thats good i guess

i still have it in me

really thought i lost it

its coming back i guess

mabe when bare it all with no reget

random things keep showin up

and its there?

2 aa's

not the meetin's ahahahahahahhaha

philosophy and history

sounds like right path?

30units to go

3 semesters planed


this much time

best be geting some damn worth!

need more info though

mabe monday i can get it

the fire been burnin and i need to burn

343 hit(s) (0 comments) | are you sure?  

I think i am so its all go i guess

waiting and waiting sucks cause its like the end of life and then its known and nothing more then thats


its the same cause if it wasnt then why am im typeing here and can proof read some of it only some of it and it goes

cause what else is there

today is my day tomarrow is my marrow the next is my next and i cant ask for more cause why would i wnat to i cant go on what was givin to me y should i should i repeat again and u are my friend get lost i never cared for most of this here danceing songs god i love to dance and song but it cant end and the beginninhg is here if one can find it and throw it away cause why shall it be this way when so many other chances can go an come and flow what it realy needs to be cause this is me

fr my soul it bleeds

fr the depts

fr the matter

fcuk everything else


im not dead [email protected]@#!!!!

375 hit(s) (1 comments) | are you sure?  
One month

then ill be 21

its kind of scary

shit im already a drunk fcuk

thinkin of leaving las vegas

good movie

is that what im suppose to do

21 go to vegas


no i dont think so

getting old all down hill from here

who gets excited about getting any other age


i really need to stop typing here drunk

shit ill be comin on here sometimes and see a new entry and be like wtf

i need to get this monkey undercontrol

its not goin anywhere and neither is i

school really stress me out

i dont know why

it comes easy

shit im smart

i have made bad decisions

we all do

time is my enemy and my friend

need to learn how to manage it better

sometimes it all be good and on it then it hits the fan

movtivation would help i think

whats my movtivation?

still waitin to hear bout that job openin

b so sick if i get it

everyweekend at the beach

oh my God!

movtivation hahah

i guess

this month i should know what happens

there was like 3 other people applyin

i know i got at least one q wrong

i like to think i got it but other people applying could very well have more qualifications

rebuilding my bike

something im excited about

the first bike i ever bought

its all black now

goin to redo it all

20 year old bike going to be as if it was brand new

i find this like a methophor for me

its crazy how life is

i mean its happenin

little by little

its all comin together

im workin for it

chasin it

slowin it will all happen

and i see that its good

crazy is as crazy does

fcuk it!

387 hit(s) (3 comments) | are you sure?  
one month

till im 21

i dont really want to do anything

kind of scared

shit im already a drunk

now ill be 21

thinking of leaving lost vegas

its a good movie

the thing to do is suppose to go to vegas

but i dont c the point really

wow vegas 21 wow

naw fuck that shit

i really need to stop typing here drunk


sometimes i come here and see an entry and be like what the fuck

i think this is it

21 next month need to get this monkey undercontrol

cause its not goin anywhere and either is me so yea i need that

school really stress me out

i dont know why

it comes so easy to me

shit im smart

i make bad decision

we all do

time is my enemy and best friend

fuckin time

i cant seem to manage it

it will go good for a while then it hits the fan

motivation is lackin

i think that is the problem

i still waiting bout that job openin

that be so sick if i could get it

at the beach everyweekend

direction ahahha

i guess

i rebuilding my bike

i hella excited to do that shit

at least something

its all black now

going repolished it all

make it all shiny

a 20 year old bike rebuilt to as if it was new

i think thats cool


i find it like a methophor for me in a way

its crazy how life works out


im ready for it

i guess

im doin it

chasin it

looks like slowin its all comin together

and thats good

yea im crazy

crazy is as crazy does

fcuk it!

362 hit(s) (0 comments) | are you sure?  

i had so much to type but now its all left in the wind of forgotten time i guess yea

i type and type and it all flows ot...

413 hit(s) (1 comments) | are you sure?  
398 hit(s) (0 comments) | are you sure?  
only time will tell.....

some say that time heals all wounds

some say that time is on myside

some say that its all an illusion so dont worry

no worries just joy in all things

like in good and bad, one could suggest and find,or

experiences or life or thats it or whatever,

make what you can of it.

Its yours.

no-one could ever take that from you,

at least, one would think,

and its ok.

the first day of logic we were asked to write down 3 beliefs we had.

i came up with two:

!the sun will raise tomarrow

@that people are basically good

and then he ask to prove why one should believe in that

the first one i thought of that quote 'as the sun make it new, day by day make it new, yet again make it,'

like come on, always keep it new, always keep it changing cause who wants the same as it was, is, and going to be. why!

its not like it cant evolve, change or mabe thats how it is simply.

i could of easily said that

but what bout the second one>?

well thats the one that gets challenged all the time, i wanted to say, thats the one the hardest to prove, or thats the one i would never stop jumpin for,

the one beyond all explanation, i would keep jumpin for.

but i never raised my hand to say what i thought or felt or just for the hell of it to see what it could bring, then again i was ask to write 3 beliefs

and mabe i can see the third.

why cant i believe in myself?

of all the things or stuff one could believe, what should be the first the last the middle the infinite?

now that i think about it,

one should figure that out,

cause couldnt that make a differences?

only time will tell....

yea it is a good day....

434 hit(s) (2 comments) | are you sure?  

Entry List
Holy Sh!t!
A long time ago...
Long live Conan!!!
Scared shitless…
i once heard a story...
missing dates
I did it!!!
once again
one month
One month
only time will tell.....
my face hurts
another year
..out of my ass
yea anyways
New Year.....
most nights
29 post(s)