sky
Listening to: undertow- tool
Feeling: blue

i want to go back to summer. i wish to look through the many houses that surrounded my sister my cousin and i. i want to wander and look at all the beautiful objects on the tables and walk through all the greedy people. i want to swing the black beads around my neck and play with my red ribbon. i want to hold my cold beverage and take a few sips every now and then. i wish to arrive home and watch my classic horror movie. i want to await my fathers arrival and show him all the precious items i bought with my own money...

why cant we just go back in time? why cant all this just go away. why cant it just leave at let me stay?..-_- this is useless. memories. thats all they are, memories. yesterday i decided to experiment a bit with my family and ive discovered something...

a long time ago i made a hypothesis that i had the power to control my family's mood. that all the grief was caused or influenced by me. it turns out ..im correct.. this may sound a little odd but...its true.. or maybe i am just paranoid..i think everythings my fault. insane!!!!!!ahhhhhhhh!! crazy!! well hmm i dont care if i am or not. either way, im going to keep living.

i took a nap yesterday. i was very anguished so i decided that it would be best for me to go where no one can cause me trouble etc...sleep...and dream of the past the present and future :). it worked for about an hour and a half. i woke up to orange light. i didnt know exactly what was going on, but my room was lit by the sun. the suns rays were hitting the clouds and it was causing the sky to be orange and pink. it just made me realize that..no matter what happens i will always have my sky, my clouds, and birds. yes. well i better run along and continue on with my life. one cannot dwell on such nonsense for too long..it can drive a person a bit crazy

-blue

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Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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