out with the old! in with the new!
Listening to: Lateralus- Tool
Feeling: blue

The Empty Smile

there once was a boy

who lived in a house

no eyes, or ears, or even a mouth

he could not see

so he could not fear

he could not listen,

so he could not hear

he could not speak,

so he could not lie,

he had no heart,

so he wanted to die

he couldnt love,

because he couldnt see her face

he couldnt feel,

because he couldnt be in her embrace

he couldnt live

because he wasnt her one

then his life took a turn,

like a bullet out of the barrel of a gun,

he started drinking, and smoking, and sleeping around,

thinking that would raise his ego, to be strong and proud

but he was wrong, and it only got worse from there,

spending his nights at home, pulling out his hair,

his addiction only got stronger, too much to bare,

death seemed like the light, in his tunnel of despair.

he picked up a razor, and put it to his skin

thinking, fuck the world, and he ment it deep from within

he thrust in deeply, thinking of her name

slicing across, trying to forget all of his shame

digging deeper, remembering her sould

pushing along, almost at his goal,

suddenly stopping, screaming her name

slicing quite quickly, threw his last vein.

- The Random One

(not i)

the poem has potential..yes hmmm...well whats new..whats new...

im still hurting, it wont stop. there must be something wrong with me

is it something i said?

i cant sleep well, and what i onced did for amusment..no longer amuses me.

i cry, there must be something wrong with me.

is it something i did?

i once was thin, but now i cant control myself

a reminder of what was then, brings me to tears, there must be something wrong with me

it must of been who i was with, what i said to him, the way i felt towards him..

perhaps im not well...maybe..just maybe..im not ready for a new relationship...

yes

besides, whats the rush? i dont plan on living that long

-blue

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Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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