edge
Listening to: none
Feeling: moodless

there's something missing, haven't figured out what. that's probably why, lately, i've had many cravings.

it would be great to just grab an edgy object, and with a magnitude of force, make a giant incision on my left arm, and tear away at the flesh.. just to see what's left...

for a long time, i've had this fear of not being able to make it through the summer... it's not that im suicidal or anything, it's just that... i feel that something is going to happen... an accident.. something... call it intuition... or paranoia... i know it's coming.

i've also had really agressive dreams... i hate porn....

i want to do something, i just don't know what... want to carve the walls with my nails and create a mural so amazing and detailed, that even the blood on the walls from my fingers will be overshadowed by it.

i think i might be sick.

=========================

today i saw the hulk... it reminded me of the times i use to allow all rage within myself, be thrown at those around me... completely allowing everyone to feel, to know the juggernaut that had been contained.

i miss mexico

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Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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