dream
Feeling: mad

i'm not exactly sure why i have chosen to continue speaking with the "individual". my spanish has improved.. he corrects me, in a very polite manner... it feels.. preetty good.

furthermore, i dont give a damn if he leaves or not... speaks or not.. etc.

why?

he's 21...

he lives in another country...

he's online preeeeeeeeetty late...

hmmmmmmmmm... now... what would a 21 year old... almost 22... want with a 18 year old that writes in the language, with plenty limitations... in other words, i write like a 15 year old... i cant write in the accents! or the "n"!!!

what the heeeeeeell?????

honestly... what is this?? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm????

--------------------------------

i'm over it though, somewhat.. that is.

tv is boring... i just.. i cant take much mooooooooooore!! i have not the slightest clue how much more i can endure...

what would have happened if i had not taken summer courses... i can hardly fathom!!

--------------------------------------

jajajaja the other day.. wait, earlier... waaaaay earlier yesterday... 12:00ish, an old "friend" called.... and at the time i was reading a book... jajaja all i remember was snapping! i was so angry he had interupted my reading time!

i dont feel remorse... i could hear the booger's friends in the background... according to him they were on the computer... twits.

---------------------------------------

im really not all that tired... today my aunt came out ot surgery... she's the type that's a tad...hmm what an understatement... sensitive.

i decided to make her a card... and well.. i had very little to work with.. soooo i decided to rip out three roses from a vase my mom had in the living room table.. and draw them... i finished pretty quickly... those were the best roses i had ever drawn... they looked real... i was really surprised...

jejejeje i still got it! wooooo!

i wish i could do something with design... drawing... something... it would be really nice.

it's weird.. my eyes get.. hungry and my hands... i dont think about what's on the paper, my hands and my eyes do all the work for me... as i draw... i think about people... their situations...i think about mine... hm...

my hands just do what they feel is right... my eyes do the editing... it's so weird. it's second nature really... hm? it's like that when i play my clarinet... i see the sheet, the notes and thats it. somehow everything just falls into place, my fingers dance as i reflect on the day's events...

that actually happens a lot... im never really paying attention to current activities... could it be i have too much on my mind... well... hm.. doubt that.

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Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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