dizzy
Listening to: the package- a perfect circle

i have continued to have weird dreams... today i dreamt that i was at a hospital, in an office... and a phone rang.. i picked it up, in hopes of knowing my mom's appointment, however no one answered... there was no one on the other line... weird. i dont even know what to think about that... what's wrong with this picture?

i went to the fair today and... i was reluctant to go.. i should have stayed home because.. i just... well.. at least i have 2 lovely bracelets.. i wish i could give one to that one... yeaaaa.... i'm dumb, i know. oh i also brought home a headache, great. i went on the chicago something, the zipper, and some other ride that's supposed to be like the fireball.. man, who comes up with the names? to creative... hehe.. i'm just bitter for the sake of being bitter... i dont know what im saying right now. wow i have a headache and im tired, have to get up tommorow to dye mom's hair... i really dont want to get up... i wish i could just sleep in his arms... i feel so ridiculous thinking this... writing it.. well, actually, typing it makes it more ridiculous.. such stupidity.. maybe i shoiuldnt be so hard on myself. i wish i go the mountains or the beach, and camp with him. it would be sooooo nice.. i'd love that, i really would..and i wish i didnt have to worry about that one thing either.. i wish it wasnt an issue.. i didnt have it.. .that would be great.. i would be sooooo happy. just to go camping.. i've never been camping.. i'd like to go one day... someday... i'll go.... just don't know when... i really need to work out.. i feel so dizzy... i need to get use to movement again because this is ridiculous!.... i'm still dizzy.. damn.. and this happened 2 hours ago.... by satelite...hm.

if i dont say it, it's not real.. if i dont write it... it never occured... so what is an idea... if there is someone to think it.. then it must be real... if there is no one.. it is not real, nada.

ni se... para que sigo con esto?

i'm starting not to eat again, im concerned.... really concerned. i'd like to be able to get over this... however i dont know how.

i just wasted a couple hours of my life.. this is embarassing.

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Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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