did we just have a moment?...
Listening to: The Noose - apc
Feeling: lost

i dont know how to feel at the moment... i guess i'm feeling a little overwhelmed...

see, the what happened is.. i met a guy.. in one of my classes.. haha... pretty funny.. and well... he.. made it pretty apparent that he was interested in me... and.. hm. we've been going at this for a while now... and on halloween(during the day, while i was waiting for my lab...) we... hung out.. and ... hm... we... spoke... and then.. i dont know why.. i guess i had missed the warmth of a persons hand... so i just "forgot" to let go of his hand.. and he was fine with that... and... haha... wow... i'm nervous... and i just.. he held... well, wrapped his hands around me... and... i ... just... cupped the left side of his jaw with my hand... and... i dont know why.. what .. i just... it was... just.. incredible what he did next... he put his hands over my hand that i was cupping his jaw with... he startled me... and i looked up at him... and... well... he smiled...

was that a moment?

correct me if i'm wrong... but i'm pretty sure that was a moment... i mean... what else could that have been?...

i'm really confused right now.. today, as i was walking to class.. i saw him talking to a girl on a bench... i freaked out.. hyperventilated.. that kind of thing... it was terrible... hahaha i cant believe i allowed a guy to trouble me so!!! why?! i dont even know him!!! how embarassing... this is so juvenile.. yet i haven't changed... that could have been a cousin.. his friend... bah.. i dont know... this shouldn't be happening.. this is ludicrous!!

i can't find a middle... it's either on one side of the scale or the other... just extreme.... ridiculous.

oh, i need help... can't forget that.. my... mm.. "condition" is surfacing again... can't allow that now, can i...

mhm.......

this is pretty contorted....

there's so much.. soooo much... so little time.

205 hit(s) Ignore the smoke  
Comments
November 15th, 2008 @ 5:00am
That was DEFINITELY a moment! Sounded like a good one too.
And don't worry, we all get like that...well I do anyway. I get the rage haha
Leave a Comment
Human Check: 7*1=


Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
1st entry
167 post(s)