ay
Listening to: ever(foreign flag) - team sleep
Feeling: restless

i'm... i really don't know what to say. 08 has been one of the most challenging years for me. ha, this is just me... i can't imagine how my mother feels.

to write it... i really can't do it without gritting my teeth... i'll write it when i'm ready.

a child having a child, a possibility... and who'll take care of the child? who other than me. i didn't, couldn't believe what had happened... the family has just begun to recover. funny really, didn't burst an artery... no... i was just there... helping.

now more than ever i realize she really is a child... and it hurts.

my mom's not doing so well... here we go again right? there's little i can do... it hurts.

my dad, ay... thinking about this... everything... what could happen.. be happening... it's too much. i think i'm going to stay... state can't be all that bad... less expensive... :)..... local... i could stick around for my parents... help out... i really don't know.

change mood.. eesh... ok ok... on a lighter note...

so... that guy... from school.. haha... ay... we saw eachother, right after my bio lab, and well... we hung out... kissed. ay. we left it at... "if we see eachother, let's go out"

that's it. mhmm that's it.

noooooooooow... two weeks later.. the other guy... my close friend... he calls.. we talk... he calls.. we talk... he calls.. we talk.

i go see a WWII movie, i tell him about it... he tells me to invite him next time.... 2 days later... my cousins, sis, her bf and i go to the movies.. meet him there... haha he's tall.

mhm.

it wasn't really 2 friends going out...

time passes... call, talk... call, talk... nada. a few days pass... i call on new years... he doesn't answer... later that morning he calls...

we're at the theatre.. him and i... we eat... hang out for a little... kiss. ay. a few times... terrible. i know. ay. he calls, we talk. he calls, we talk... i get a new phone with txt... i txt him, tell him about it... ever since then... we've been texting... ay.

rofl really.

jeez, it's not cheesy shit either... haha.. funny.

he's no boy.

hahahahaha

ay. ridiculous. completely.

yet, i sink further.

we're going out this weekend... hopefully all goes well. it's a double with my right hand.

i'm terrified of everything.

haha my dog too... poor thing.

193 hit(s) Ignore the smoke  
Comments
January 8th, 2009 @ 10:04am
too many ellipsis...
[Anonymous (65.112.194.25)]
Leave a Comment
Human Check: 7*4=


Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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167 post(s)