tremble
Listening to: Rx queen - deftones
Feeling: cold

we've still been messaging eachother.. on tuesday we spoke on the phone... it was so weird at first, i must admit i was completely overwhelmed... i was so nervous, could hardly speak...

if voices could kill!! daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

really, i mean, that was the... wow... ok.. hahahaha now i really am overreacting... i don't know how i kept my thoughts straight, daaaaaaamn. hahahaha i feel like such a fool.

it felt good to speak with him, :/

the appeal was definately the distance, knowing that it was impossible... yes. i know that now. that's why it's so easy to let go with him, say whatever. laugh hahaha crazy guy. things are much more clear now.

the guy i was dating, i couldn't.. right after i had asked him if he wanted to bowl..i couldn't take it and i told him...

just, no. i can't.

explained to him everything... well, except the age thingy...hehe... ay.

that was horrible. i guess i've lost a friend :/ he was pleasant too..

shit.

i can't do that right now though.. i don't see myself talking to someone on the phone... eeeeevery night, and seeing them the following day... it's not that i'm lazy, it's just that right now i want some time to make friends. i want more me time, friend time.

i'd like to let go.

"what can ya do"

really now, what the hell can you do?

i'm dissapointed, she's just like them. they're sad...

they're all the same... i'm nauseas. they all click sooo well together hahaha because they're all trying to see what dirt they can dig up on eachother, to gossip about it later to eachother so they don't feel as bad about how they don't work, hate school, and about how they're using their tuition money to buy plastic accessories at target and box wine!

no, she's not one of them...

she likes to "borrow" my old 8th grade crap...

get over it...

please don't let me take back

"it's just a phase"

please!!

i was driving to school with a friend on the free way, heading up a ramp.. when a white nissan altima raced up past us.. we were going 70, they had to be going at least 7 above. the car was two ahead of us when it starting swerving... left and right.. left and right.. we were in the middle lane.

and then, it sped up, while swerving, and rammed itself into the wall... the front part of the car was torn off, and it then did 4 360's..

while this happened the car behind it, was hit by the spinning car. the car behind that one, reared the white care and the car in front of it.. and we barely missed the trio. the cars behind us kept coming and swerving to our left and right so we wouldn't get hit...

it was insane.

today my cousin and her "boyfriend" came to pick me up to go bowling, he ran a yellow, and was getting closer and closer to the car ahead of him... i screamed his name three times.. i was afraid.

crazy freud.

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Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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