fairness
Listening to: ride - the vines

in all fairness he did say he couldn't offer me anything more than company at the gym. sure. okay.

so, with this in mind, why do i feel so frustrated?

i guess because the image i had of our whatever it was, well that was totally shattered by today's earlier events. i saw him at the parade, riding in the van, he pretended he couldn't see me. after the parade, my family and i went to the festival and we were trying to figure out where a stand was when he comes up to a group of people that i guess were his friends in high school. i try not to panic and i figure i should go say hi to get it over with. i walk over poke him say hi and as if he was staying long. he already started saying how he was just looking for some old friends and he had to take off after.

even as i write this, it hurts. i feel hurt. he's always brushing me aside. yeah.

 

i'm done with this. he makes an okay gym partner but even that, he's crummy. so serious. i like laughing, talking... oh and i like not over-working my body. so my triceps, yeah, lay off. mmm i don't know what's going to happen.

i do have control over how much access he has to me. honestly, i'm better off not being near him. yeah. okay. i'm off.

 

as for the other guy, he had his chance.

it's true, they always come back.

 i'm so sleepy. i think i've devoted enough of my time to these people. that's why i've been eating awful food like crazy. because of this decision.

 

it's over. yeah. only when i can. yesh. yeah.

147 hit(s) Ignore the smoke  
This post has no comments.
Leave a Comment
Human Check: 6*9=


Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
1st entry
167 post(s)