tightness

my cousin says my hamstrings are too tight. maybe he's right? i don't know. they feel fine to me... what do i know anyways.

 

so tomorrow. i don't want tomorrow to end. i don't want to go to work on monday. i want to go to school. there i could exercise some control. well, when i was single i was pretty happy. 

the idea, plan or something was to meet someone in grad school. here i am, working, my job, i can't complain. this is not what i want. this isn't the end, it can't be the end. i cannot see my life ending with this. i'd like to say more but will refrain from continuing.

i'll be fine.

in other news, though i've said that i was over him, i still look for his car. so foolish. i got sleepy all of a sudden. i think i'll sleep now.

 

i wanted to get on here to write some stuff out. i'm frustrated, with more than one part of what makes my mondayh though saturday. wha the fuck am i doing? seriously. what does it all mean anyways? i'm to sit on the backburner until he gets lonely?? no, time for change. here i go.

 

change. what am i going to change? for starters, i guess i should... what should i change? i need a haircut, that's a must. same old haircut... hm. what do i want... what do i want. i don't know what i want. i need to figure that out, at least get an idea. i'm just aiming for the easiest. i deserve better. there is nothing about the relationship him and i share that is at all sustainable. such a weak structure. time to set firei to the building and walk away. remember how i got there, take in the lessons, absorb. absorb. absorb.

 

still think i'm being... i think someone is reading this, that person. i want them to know something, a few things.

i was showering yestday and i realized something, several things.

at this point in my life there are three people that i will never ever have in my life. these three people will never be a part of my circle, i will never forgive these people for the past. before i die, these people will not cross my mind as others will have, and if they  do it'll be out of spite.let's just say that with all, with all there were violations that were made. the damage is irreversible. can't spell woh shit.. so tired. i okday i wll sleep now.

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time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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