fuck anything that moves

i have plenty to share i just don't know how to. these feelings, i can't really untangle them, they're all just bungled up in one giant knot. this knot is moving inside me, i'm in need of words. i feel like there aren't words in this dimension that can express what's going on inside-so out there.

 

my hands are dry and irritated from the bleach. my fingernails are fine. my back is tired and my eyes are closing but i want to write more. i want to paint. i want to get this out. i need to get this out. no more flashbacks. sex would only complicate things. 

 

i'm not who you think i am. we have less in common than you're aware of.

 

god i'm so tired. even though i'm shit tired, i still have the energy to pick at my thumb. ridiculous. just no. no no no.

 

i hate, yes hate, hate hate hate having people decide things, bigger things, in my place. it really pisses me off. i mean, i can see the good in whatever but it still pisses me off. as if i'm going to be returning. fuck you. fuck no. this isn't resentment.

from day 1 i protested everything in my own way. i got two weeks. ten days. watch me. in my own way.

just what you thought i was doing, that's exactly what i'm doing. idiots. 

 

so much hatred. ay. where does all that energy come from.

 

fuck the rules. fuck the ground. fuck whatever makes a sound.

 

can't find those lyrics... will find them.

 

i don't know what i'm doing, but i do know that what i have planned is for me. that is for me.

 

hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate.

i remember hearing that if you repeat something long enough it begins to lose its power.

 

hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate.

still there...

 

love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love

hm.

 

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.

hahaha as if.

 

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

two weeks.

 

i'll be okay.

186 hit(s) Ignore the smoke  
Comments
December 14th, 2013 @ 3:32am
the voice in your diary touches home base with me. it's nice to read and see some life around here.
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Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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