I have a new SitDiary. It is irockhardcore. It is on my friends list. If you have a comment for this site, comment my other one. Thank you! my livejournal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/feariemagic7/ my myspace: http://myspace.com/kimmi_7 my vampirefreaks account: http://vampirefreaks.com/profile.php?user=punkvampire69 aim: bloodravn7 email: liltwistedfreak77@yahoo.com Add me!! I love friends!

haha, hell yeah baby, I feel harcore! I can't wait from next friday! 8 DAYS BITCHES! lmao We went to the mall and I got to short skirts and a fishnet long sleeve blood red shirt and a halter top that is a corset. It is HOT! Well,Yeah, got some hippie shirts today at the local mall in town. Very cool. And I saw this wicked cute and nice guy at the pet store bc me and Roman wante dto see the cats. So this cute guy who seemed to be about 17 was talking to me and he was sweet, lol. Then Carrie and I left and I told her about him while we were walking out of the mall and guess what she does?!?! She makes me walk back to the damn pet store to ask him out...she was going to make me ask him if he wanted to hang out sometime! OMG! It was SO embarassing! lmao, thank GOD he and his mother had already left the store by the time we got there, lmao. But ehh, whatever, I am not good with meeting new ppl unless it is through the internet, lmao. On myspace I have made a ton of friends in Auburn, NY. Well, I gotta go my lovely ones! I fucking love the monkey fuck out of yo.U.!!

wow, my tattoo hurt like a BITCH! A tattoo on my lower back, my first one, and to someone who can't take physical pain too well, think I took it pretty well!!!! Here it is! And remember, this is only the beginning! When the colours are brighter and it is down healing, I will get more pictures. Zach got his done too. Here it is: He designed it himself. my pictures: http://photobucket.com/albums/b18/bloodraven7/ my lj: http://www.livejournal.com/users/feariemagic7/ my myspace: http://myspace.com/kimmi_7 vf: http://vampirefreaks.com/profile.php?user=punkvampire69 my other SitD: http://www.sitdiary.net/irockhardcore/ aim: bloodravn7 email: liltwistedfreak77@yahoo.com Add me!! Well, I am off to eat! I love yo.U. Brandi Rose!!!

yeah, I fuckin rock!! my pictures: http://photobucket.com/albums/b18/bloodraven7/ my lj: http://www.livejournal.com/users/feariemagic7/ my myspace: http://myspace.com/kimmi_7 vf: http://vampirefreaks.com/profile.php?user=punkvampire69 my other SitD: http://www.sitdiary.net/irockhardcore/ aim: bloodravn7 email: liltwistedfreak77@yahoo.com Add me!! I love friends!!!

Your Ca-Ca-Callin' But I Can't Hear You And I Dream About You All The Time Sorry, I am listening to music, haha. OMG! Last night Dusten's dads took me him and one of their friends out to the musical theater and we watched the Damn Yankees, haha, it was SO beautiful. One of the main characters, Joe Hearty, had SUCH an amazing voice!!! SO deep, SO beautiful! It was a great production! And we spent the night watching TV and take a ton of fun, stupid, wild pictures. He is sending them to me later today so I will post some because we took over 50 pictures, lmao! I will prolly end up posting most of them! I think I a going to start a photobucket thingy....hmmm.. It was a lot of fun. And we went to sleep with him holding me. His bed is comfy! haha. I had a bunch of fun! My Pictures: My Hot Belly and my belly button ring! I am going to eat yo.U.! My new hair Me and Dusten. This was the first picture we took last night! My new hair, ya like? This is Allen, one of Dusten's dads. He is SO sweet! His guitar is F*U*N! I am SO hot right now! HAHAHAHA! I think I may love yo.U. Haha, 007 style baby! Cute tattoo, and I think he has a cute back too, hahaha He was SO shy B4 I met him! And yeah, that is my shirt! That scarf...yeah, I SO made that!!!! There will be more at a later time!

Add this lovely little lady, for she isLEANMEANAND SHE ROCKS IT HARDCORE! My tato is going great and so are all my piercings. CAll my mom and she is getitng the papers. I made a ton of friends in NY and on myspace and LJ and SitD. Good night!

Yeah, I have lost a lot of weight, well, it isn't a lot but for me and my body, it is a lot. I don't know how much I currently weigh but you can see and really feel my ribs...kind of sucks, but whatever. Found out today that my mom wanted me to move out, whatever to her. I feel so hurt by somethings I have found out last night... Oh yeah,a nd why the hell do people have phones if they NEVER pick up? lmao, I called about...7 people last night and ONE answered their phone, lmao, oh well...it is okay...good thing I didn't need anything, lmao, oh well. Yeah, I am back in NY now, STILL haven't slept really, and my back is effin killing me. I have written almost everything that I have done in my written journal, I am glad to, lol. I fuckin RoCk!!!! Anyways, I can't help but feel....ugly...haha, I am skinnier, my ribs are easier to see and feel (so I have been told) but I feel fatter...I hate my body, why can't I just get over this? I can't get over anything..errr, haha, I am so fucked up..."I'm Lovin' It" Haha, if you go on my myspace site and look at my pictures, yeah, I was happy then. DUDE! Mike F offered for me to live with him. He asked his mom and everything and they talked about it and she said fine! haha, that would ROCK if I could do that! I thought his mom hated me bc when Mike and I were dating I would swear a lot and she said to him after they dropped me off one night that she diliked me, lmao. ROCK OUT!

Okay, I am staying in NY for my senior year and probably college. I found out that my mom said something about me that is fucking bullshit. And this isn't the first fucking time....I fucking want to cut SO bad, but I talked to Bob and Carrie, and they say they are happy when I am here, that things just fit with me here. And that I would be a WAY happier perosn here and they are right. I can't stay in that house anymore. I fucking hate myself and my fucking life, but I am SO thankful for the friends that I have! I love yall SO freaking much! And this friday we are leaving for mass and we are coming back on the second monday from now. Yehaw, lol. I don't want to see my mom at fucking all. She has fucking broke my last fucking nerve I had with her. I love her but I can NOT and WILL not take her shit, her lieing, her yelling...whatever, no one reads this and n one neds to know. later days

I don't fucking cut,a nd I don't fucking cry. I am not a slut or a fucking whore and it doesn't piss me off because you are little bitches that aren't worth my fucking time. Oh well. And that was a fucking joke about the hardcore thing, I was just hyper. And it is an inside joke with me and someone who reads this. And yeah, I do actually have friends. Wow you guys are fucking pathetic. Haha, I like how you think all this shit is bothering me. It was at firs, but now...haha, I couldn't care less. Anyways: Today Carrie and I are going for a walk with Roman and checking out the local thrift stores for hippie things and old sweaters so we can pull the sweaters apart and use the yarn to make things. It is fun. I hope Lucia gets better, she starved herself so much that she went to the hospital. I love her SO much, I hope she gets better soon. I can't wait to see her! And we are leaving to go back to Mass Friday. And thursday I get to see Cai so I can get my phone back, awesome! Well, gotta go.

I wasn't trying to convince anyone anything. And I don't give a shit what you or your stupid bitchy friend have to say anymore. Whatever. I rock hardcore. I love you Sarah! PS-I am not a whore, whores have sex with a lot of people. I don't. Sorry, but your going to have to find a new insult because that one ain't working bitch.

I feel talkative but MEGA tired so I am going to go to bed. Good night everyone and thanks for talking with me! YALL ROCK HARDCORE!!!!

Yes, I feel pathetic because I rock.. Okay, so I am SO mega bored and un-tired that I made a new entry JUST for the hell of it. Love how I just made three new friends, and *yoU* say I don't have friends, ppsshhh... I ROCK HARDCORE BITCH! Oh yeah, and I got my first letter from Any M. He is a sweetie! And I got a long heart-felt email from Alex...no friends...what a lie...

I feel happy yet broken. But that is how life is I guess. I will still update once in a while here. I love all my friends (yes I have many) Yall rock -me

My heart fades to black and turns to stone at the sight of you-Yet I love you so Okay, well this is going to be the last entry for a bit. I am going to write here once a week, maybe more, like if it is more than it is probably one a quiz or something out of boredom. This will motivate me to update my written journal. That is the main reason. also because no one comments so I don't think anyone reads this, so it is semi-pointless to type it all. I don't really mind the no comments though, lol. Today I have been really happy but I felt like crying. Like their has been a knot in my throat all day and earlier tears were welling up in my eyes, but of course, they never fall. I rarely cry. Some say it is unhealthy but so is a lot of other things I do, so I guess it fits me, lol. I fucking hate people. I mean how the fuck can you say such hurtful things to someone you don't even fucking know? How can you speak to someone with such fucking hatred like that? I don't get people, and ppl fucking wodner why I have a trust problem and why I fucking cut! Fuck everybody okay, what the fuck ever.

I got home at 10:30. today was a lot of fun. I got to hang out with Dusten all day, well most of the day. Then we went back to his house and I got to FINALLY see his house. Then he took me to his and his friend's *s*e*c*r*e*t s*p*o*t, lol. They are going to build a house (so they dream) and it was fun, till we started to be eaten alive, lol. But that is okay, and I found out he is dating this girl named Sam. that is good for him, he is painfully shy around girls., I remember when we first met, our first Rites, it was A LOT of fun, and I remember how quite he was! Anyways, I gauged my ears, they are up to an eight. They still kind of hurt, but oh well. I kind of liked it. I have noticed that ever since I stopped cutting, anything that hurts physically, seems to lift up my spirits a little, like, I like the pain, I am SO messed up, so gauging my ears hurt (which I hate) but then again I liked the pain, made me feel real I guess. I am in a weird mood today. :/ Well, I got home later than we planned so Dusten is spending the night since he doesn't really like drivng at night.. so he is sleeping on the couch. Right now he is watching Austin Powers-Goldmember, lol. We aren't having the tag sale tomorrow because it is suppose to rain tomorrow. oh well, this means that I don't have to get up at 7 am..that is CRAZY talk! I really like Sarah still! And I told her about what Cai and I did and she seemed fine with it, but then again you can hide voice tones and body language and facial expressions when online. I wonder if she still likes me? I kind of hope so. I also miss Cai though, like I haven't sent him an email or anything because I don't want to get annoying. Whenever a relationship deepens with me, I tend to be REALLY self-concious, like I always feel like a bore or a bother and I feel that I get annoying even by saying hello. People tell me that I am not, but I guess I am just paranoid. :/ hmm.. love always- -me

Hey, I am in a better mood today, actually, I am in a GREAT mood. Last night Carrie and I did some healing work and it made me realize somethings that I knew but didn't pay any attention too. So yeah, as I have said before, coming here helps me immensely. So yeah, today I went to the library with Carrie and Roman. Then Carrie left for work so I had to take care of Roman. But when we got home I danced him to sleep and he fell asleep in my arms, so for an hour, I was either walking/dancing/or sitting with him in my arms sleeping. then we had lunch and Carrie came home. Then we went next door so Roman can play and Carrie and I were knitting. She is helping me make this really cool looking shirt but I am making a few moderations to it from the book. It is going to be wicked cool. I am always ordering some more yarn offline. I am also going to be making arm warmers and I am dying the yarn for them myself! WICKED FUN! I have been thinking a lot about death lately. It scares me yet fascinates me. Not that I actually want to die, just thought I should write down that I have been thinking about it more. Lol, I am SO messed up! I have also been thinking about mainly these two people. They are constantly on my mind, well if you include Brandi than three people are always on my mind. I am not obsessed but I can't stop thinking about them or remembering them really. Wish I could be with two out of the three. hmmm, what to say..OH YEAH! I am going to to movies tomorrow with my wonderful Dusten! He wasn't able to go to Rites but now I only live an hour away from him! So he is taking me to the movies, rock out! It will be fun. And you know what sucks?! Trey likes me! NNNOOOOO!!! I like other people, NOT HIM! I wish the people I liked could like me back, well one of them really, lol. I mean I still like Cai, it is just, he is kind of far away from me...oh well. But I am not...don't know how to say it...oh well, I know what I am trying to say, lol. Anyways-How is everyone doing? I hope everything is great! Well, I am outtie! PEACE! Pick ONE word from each pair that you think describes me the best...leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you... * dominant or submissive * logical or intuitive * social or loner * kinky or vanilla * cute or sophisticated * kitten or puppy * warm flannel sheets or sleek satin * leader or follower * quiet or talkative * spontaneous or planned * teddy bear or porcelain doll * hiking or window shopping * coffee or tea * top or bottom * barefoot or shoes * jeans or slacks * tender or rough * aware or dreamy * nerd or jock -me PS-To Get To Know Me 1. What time is it? 9:01 pm 2.Name as appears on birth certificate: Kimberly Ann Quinn 3. Nickname(s): Kimmi, Kimba, Miki, Kimber, and probably a lot of others 4. Parents names: Amy and Angel 5. Single or taken? single..in a way 6. Chinese zodiac: Dragon! 7. Hair color: going to be dark brown soon 8. Eye color: hazelish green I think 9. Height: 5'4" 10. Shoe size: 9-ish 11. Glasses or contacts or neither? neither 12. Braces? no 13. Piercing/tattoos? belly ring, cardalidge, and soon two industrials and a random second hole on my right ear. 14. Birthplace: Atlanta, Ga 15. Current residence: Sturbridge, ma but at the precise moment-Auburn, NY 16. Siblings name and their ages: Andrew-16, Eric-12, Amanda-5 ******HAVE YOU EVER****** 17. Gone skinny dipping? When I was a kid 18. Been drunk? yes 20. Smoked a cigarette? yes 21. Skipped school? yes 22. Bungee jumped: nope 23. Kissed someone not related to you? yes 24. Kissed someone of the same sex not related to you? yes 25. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend? yes 26. Kissed? yes 27. TP'd someone's house? Don't think so 28. Won something? Yes 29. Asked someone out? no 30. Been rejected? yes 31. Been in love? Yes 32. Been to a funeral? yes 33. Used a lighter? Yes 34. Been on stage? yes ******FAVORITE****** 35. Food: mexican 36. Ice cream flavor: peanut butter fudge 37. Drink: sprite 38. School subject(s): CAD 39. Breakfast cereal: Cheerios I guess 40. Number(s): 7 & 13..and I like 21 (only odd numbers) 41. Book(s): Harry Potter and Lireal series 42. Movies: and horror and old movie and most comedy 43. Candy: dark chocolate 44. Soda: sprite 45. Color: black, silver, green, blue, bright orange, and all bright neon colours! 46. Vacation spot: I don't know..WAIT New Hampshire! 47. Sport to watch on t.v.: soccer...and sometimes baseball 48. Sport to play: soccer and volleyball 50. Letter: a? 51. Fast food restaurant: subway...or Taco Bell. 52. Cartoon character: Jack the Pumpkin King!!! 53. Holiday: Samhain 54. Name for a boy: idk.. 55. Name for a girl: stil don't know ******DO YOU PREFER****** 56. Chocolate or vanilla ice cream? chocolate all the effin way!!! 57. Boys or girls: both! But if I had to pick...guys :/ 58. Long relationships or one night stands? long relationships! 59. Dogs or cats? cats most of the time 60 Scary movies or comedies? scary 61. Silver or gold? silver 62 Croutons or bacon bits? croutons ******THINGS THAT COME TO MIND****** 63. Doctor: surgery 64. Hedgehog: Sonic the Hedgehog! 65. School: Friends 66. Grass: Rites (only bc of Sarah S!) 67. Cow: Spots and MMOOOOO!!! 68. Canada: free medical insurance and drinking age is 18 baby! 69. Mouse: cats 70. Hand: typing? ******THE PAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU****** 71. Watched a movie? yes 72. Talked on the phone? yes 73. Cried? nope 74. Threw up? nope 75. Drank a glass of water? yes 76. Gone to the bathroom? yes 77. Read a book or magazine? yes 78. Watched tv? yes 79. Looked in the mirror? yes :/ 80. Taken a shower? yes 81. Taken a picture? Nope 82. Listened to music? yes 83. Hugged or kissed someone? yes 84. Done your hw? no, I need 2 read a book 85. Told someone you loved them? yes ***DO YOU BELIEVE IN....****** 86. Heaven? nope 88. Aliens? umm, yeah, too much universe for only us! 89. Fun for the entire family? whatever 90. Freedom of speech? fuck yes 91. Love? yes 92. Magic? yes *******SOME RANDOM STUFF****** 93. Last movie you saw in theatres? I don't remember..WAIT, it was the hitchhikers guide the the galaxy with my lovely Alex A. 94. Are you listening to music right now? in my head, does that count? lol 95. What color shirt are you wearing? white 96. Do you like your middle name? I guess, it is kind of boring though 97. What is the best thing since sliced bread? a bed! lol 98. What color is your backpack? my bag(actually a really big purse) is tan 99. Are you gonna send this to your crush? no 100. Who is your crush? uumm..::blushes:: Sarah C and I guess you can consider Cai a crush too... 101. What time is it now? 9:16 Another One because of Boredom-Yes, yell at me for stealing it, I was fucking bored, oh well. 1. PICK ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I have three scars on my right leg all from me, most of them are... :( 2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Pictures 3. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? whatever i feel like at the time, rock, punk, emo...i dunno, lots of stuff 4. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 6:31 am 5. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? i dunno, i want alot of things-mainly to see all my friends from Rites all at the same time..right now! lol. 6. WHAT DO YOU MISS AT TIMES? people..and having money, lol 7. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION? My life...but as in objects..my computer, lol, or my jewelry...unless I can pick people then I choose my friends, lol 8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? sage 9. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? not usually 10. IF YOU DIED TOMORROW? i hope i go out with a bang 11. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Brandi..or myself, can't remember right now. 12. What is your favorite cologne/perfume? Axe 13. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? emo or skater hair or long hair in an emo way tehehe ::drools:: 14. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT? i dunno...i wouldn't want it to be in one of those fancy resturants like they do in the movies though...thats not my sorta thing... 15. DO YOU LIKE PORN? I guess... 16. WHAT ARE YOUR FIVE FAVORITE MOVIES? Rocky Horror!! and Clue and the Sound of Music, haha, and anything scary 17. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GOING FOR YOUR HONEYMOON? i dont know...but i think id like to go somewhere exotic 18. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD? Brandi 19. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE? i know a bit of spanish 20. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX..WHO WASN"T RELATED TO YOU)? umm, a couple of things from my Bday. I got a ring from Alex A with lizards on it and I love it and clorox bleach pen from Andy M (inside joke) 21. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER(s)? ville valo, gerard way, & bert mccraken 22. FAVORITE BAND(s)? umm...ill spare you all and just put my 3 favorites: My chemical Romance, HIM, and The Used 23. WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ? whatever catches my eye and has a great plot, a lot of fiction I guess, stuff about magic and fantasy things 24. FAVORITE DESSERT: ice cream or apple pie, lol 25. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE? Lots of sugar in it, lol, I am a sugar FREAK! 26. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PHRASE ? Wicked Hot or Hun 27. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? It would be hard 28. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? well...i suppose to tell them...but you gotta do it at the right time, and try to be cute about it 29. SAY A NUMBER FROM 1 TO 100? 7! 13! 21! 30. BLONDES, REDHEADS OR BRUNETTES? Any, hair colour doesn't make a person 31. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? certain people and their effin bullshit 32. HAVE YOU EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Not that I remember 33 WHO IS YOUR CURRENT CRUSH? as I said, Sarah C and Cai 34. WHAT IS YOUR WORST FEAR? dying alone and a painfully slow death 35. SAY SOMETHING TO SOMEONE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN/TALKED TO IN AWHILE: Hey Greg and Christina, I miss yall down in Ga, hope to see yal SOON! 36. HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND NOT MEANT IT? No, not that some people believe me but ehh, their problem. 37. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS SURVEY? filling out another one and getting pissed/depressed over things that Brandi has written 38. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? A smaller effing ASS!

I wonder if she likes me? She never really answered me... I can't get her off my mind.. I think I am in love again...well, not true love just..lusting over someone..lol. This is how I feel after argueing with y.o.U. http://myspace-149.vo.llnwd.net/00142/94/11/142221149_l.jpg By the way, that isn't my picture, wasn't trying to pass it as my own, I was stating that that is how I fucking feel..and for a fucking reason too! not that anyone actually fucking gives a shit but whatever... What ever. F.u.c.k. T.h.i.s. S.h.i.t. Peace out- -kimmi

We got home last night at about 11:40 and I went to bed about 12:50. I slept rather okay last night but after the sun was up I started to constantly wake up. So at 9ish I just got up and took a shower. I miss it here, this house is so wonderful and so full of energy. I love this house. And it is really big so it is fun to just walk around in it, lmao. Dusten called me today. I was on the phone a little while ago with him. I haven't talked to him in a couple of months, not even an email. I was happy to talk to him, even though he calls then says nothing, lol. but that is okay. I am going to go to his house sometime soon. I am not sure when, but all he has to do is fix his car and he is going to come over and pick me up. I have never been to his house. I have seen pictures and stuff but yeah, not the same. Can't wait. Hold up, have to go eat... Okay, lol. I had homemade pizza, I absolutely LOVE pizza! It is one of my favourite things to eat! Okay, enough with the pointless crap... I have moved out of the shadows of nervousness, the clouds of anxiety have moved on and the bright sun of a hopeful future is on my back. I am happy about this. Today, I went to Marshall's to help Carrie pick out sheets from Roman's new bed. I was going to get some jeans but I told Carrie not to worry about it. That I will get them some other time. They (Bob and Carrie) say that I am a full fledged family member so I get all the good and the bad. Such as I get a bit more responsibility and chores but I also get an allowance, lol. It isn't much, only 20 bucks a week but ehh, I don't care. And they are not allowing me to send it to my mom (thank god), but I am going to save half of it and give it to my mom when I get back home. She will need it. I hope we don't loose the car, that is the worst (almost) thing that can happen to her right now. I am allergic to this necklace that my friend gave me and I wore it to bed one night so now I have this ring of a rash on my chest (I think I already wrote this down). But it is still pretty itchy, lol. July 15th I am going back to Ware. I hope Carrie will be willing to drive me over to see my family. I need to pick up a couple of things and I want to say happy birthday to my brother and mom. My mom's birthday is the 25th. Kind of cool, she is turning...39....yeah, that is it, 39, lol. I almost for got for a moment. I am still kind of depressed for some reason, I think it is because I don't do very well around people I don't know, especially if I am not being my normal talkative self. So since I don't know anyone up here, I have no one to talk to. It is kind of boring but it is better than my house, I don't have to ask for so much, I can just do it. ROCK OUT! I miss her. This is killing me, she sent me a comment and she isn't mad at me, but I want to know if she still likes me (Sarah C). But even if she does, it wouldn't matter, I am here and she is there. And I also miss...well, everyone at Rites and some people from school...actually, to tell you the truth, I only miss two people at my school. Like if it wasn't for Andy and Alex and Sarah C at my school, I would move in with Bob and Carrie permanently. They want me to stay for my senior year, and I would except I have three people back home that I would miss, not including my sister and the rest of my family. And I would be even farther from everyone from Rites. And I also like my CAD program at my school, it is good. Well, I might write more later, I am stopping myself before I say something I don't want to... Peace out With Love- -kimmi

Hey, Right now Carrie is rubbing my back...okay, she stopped, lol. Anyways, today was good. I went to North Hampton and I was looking at yarn for an hour and a half with Carrie and Roman. It was interesting for a bit, but then I got bored, lol. But there was tons of pretty fabric and I was with people I love so I trully didn't mind. I had macaroni and cheese for lunch, thought yall should know that! YES! I ROCK! I can't believe someone actually read the qhole thing thrue, my last entry, lol. Two people actually did! I feel special! lol, but I figured Jeff would. Oh hey, I notice that everyone is using their LJ names instead of their real names, I am sorry if I offended anyone. If yall want, I will change mine...just comment if you want your LJ name or if you don't mind your real name being up. Anyways.. Everyday, I wait, I wait for it to arrive, I await in the shadows of nervousness, I await, not knowing what is going to happen, I await in pain. So tonight we are leaving Ware and going to NY. I can't wait. I will be happy for a change. Just being around Bob and Carrie is uplifting. We three just fit together. I love it! Last night I didn't sleep again. I went to bed at 2 and was still really not that tired. But by three I was out. Roman woke me up at 8:30 by pulling my hair and lips, lmao. I have also been having rather weird/interesting/odd dreams when I actually do get to sleep. But that is okay, I love the unrealistic ways of my dreams, they make me smile...most of them, cept my suicidal ones, they are...satisfying (sp?) in other ways... I have to call Cai sometime to try to hang out and shit. Bob, Carrie, Roman (their son by the way), and I are going camping and stuff and they are going to Salem as one of their stops to camp (did I mention how much I HATE camping?). And I need my phone back and I would love to see him. So yeah, got his number today, probably gonna call him sometime this weekend. Maybe Monday, if I ever remember to. Even though I am happy bc I am out of my house and with Bob and Carrie, I feel as though I am dieing on the inside, something is wrong, saomething is possibly missing. From what, I don't know, what is it, no clue. I really don't know what is wrong with me. I mean I should be MEGA happy bc I am out of my house for the WHOLE effin summer but..eerrrmmm....AAARRGGHH! WTF! What is wrong with me, why do I ALWAYS feel depressed (and hungry-lol). Okay, I am going to try to be happy. I wasn't suppose to make this long...errr. See ya! -kimmi -miki -kimba

Well yesterday was all arts day. It was SO much fun. I got to hang with Sarah the WHOLE time!!!! I love her SO much! I really do like her, like I dunno if I wanna tell her but Jade is going to talk to her about it..err...I hope she likes me back, but prolly not. Oh well, I wouldn't like me. And me and Brandi aren't friends. Because I like Sarah, she is yelling at me...well she wrote a note to me...err, now my fucking had hurts bc I punched a locker, it sux...err...WTF?!?!?!?! I am NOT going to hurt her!! Look I fucking care about you Brandi. I don't care if you see it or not. I don't care if you don't believe me, you NEVER HAVE!!! I won't do ANYTHING with Srah, okay?! Damn it! & How the fuck did I hurt other people like I did to you? Is there a bunch of people out there saying how much they hate me or something? Bc that would suck but they should tell me if they fuckin do! If anyone (other than Brandi, Barry, and Paige) has an effin problem with me, FUCKIN TELL ME!!!! And yesterday I was suppose 2 have Andy Sousa drive me to pick up Andy O and go to his house and hang. And Taryn (the other grl I like) was suppose 2 be there...ERRR....whatever, my fuckin feelings and plans and emotions don't mean shyt to some people, I don't fucking care.... Okay so last night I found out that my mom put a restraining order on Joel, So I cried SO fuckin much, I am seriously losing it. I don't know what to do, I still am not thinking straight, it sux! I don't know how we are going to pay for have the shyt we have. It really sux! And I am not writting this bc I am a ptiy whore, I just want my friends (mainly Jeff) to know what is goin up(or down-lol) in my lyfe since I don't see him. and I couldn't even fucking hug him goodbye!!! How come I have a good day and then something bad has to happen?!?! what the fuck ever, I fuckin can't even think straight right now... oh yeah, and in 9 days, it will be my moms 6 month anniversery of her last drink, should I do something like buy her something? Please help me...