You said you would be my dream I could have you every night And if by morning, I'd forgotten you, well no big deal, that'd be all right 'Cause you're the reoccurring kind You are the reoccurring kind You never really leave my mind

say anything was awesome. i kicked the guitarist in the head when i was crowd surfing and they threw me on stage. it was fun but i'm hurt... in more than one way.=(

it's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. how appropriate

wo0t wo0t! Prom with brian blades!!

ceecee is officially feeling nostalgic. i'm talking to my old friend Ray from rockerz chatroom. i met him like 7 million years ago and i l0ved him on the internet. haha. i even wrote a song for himone day. the chorus went: oh RAy, please stay, never use your teacup, never go away. ya know because in msn chatrooms if you wanted to be away from your keyboard then you had to click the teacup. oh well. i'm also talking to MR. Todd Ekkebus whom i haven't had a conversation with in ages. what a great day!?! minus the fact that Andrew couldn't come over tonight and that I NEED SLEEP!!!

the new Harry Potter movie comes out in like 3 weeks!! so excited!

golly Andrew is officially the greatest thing ever. i love him fOrEvEr. this weekend was awesome. =)

waiting for Andrew to wake up so i can hopefully seeing him but as he is the one that controls that then i'm not positive how that will work out. too bad seeing him means more to me than seeing me does to him. i think that's confusing but fuck it.

i hate the feeling of wanting something so bad but just not being able to get it. i feel like i have no control of things when they're like this. i feel like one person has the ability to make me happy or to make me wanna cry. i don't think this is what they want exactly but i don't think they realise how much it truely affects me but today was mostly a good day i tried not to let things get to me and i tried to be happy then all i want to do is come home and see Andrw but what do you know i can't.the one thing i wanted so bad today and i don't even get it. do i ask for too much? am i just selfish? truthfully i am. i ask him to do things and i admit i do try to makehim feel bad fornot wanting to see me. and i'm reallt sorry for that but no matter what the reason is i still feellike you're not here and if were up to me to see you i would. to me it's like he doesn't care about seeing me but i know he really does. i just don'tknow what to do anymore. tomorrow is our game against callaway again. i really hope we win this time. i'm sick of trying so hard and just not making it. i think the problem is acertain for take it seriously but the rest of them don't. oh well i give it all i can. fuck it if that's not enough. i guess now i'll eat my delicious pasta and hope to die before tomorrow. besides we only live to die. but that's not how i really feel. i'mjust saying that. i really think i'll just keep listen to mewithoutYou and be sad untill i stop being such a bitch and get over the fact that no matter what i do he's not coming over tonight. oh well i love Andrew and i hope things work out for us. i think i have issues with being alone.

i've been invited to do people to people and go to New Zealand and Australia and learn to play a didgeridoo and throw a boomerang. wo0t wo0t. Andrw is watching the Excorcist of Emily Rose without me because he didn't want to see it but now he does so whatever. i hope he likes it.

Say Anything will be at the masquerade December 12 and i cannot wait....if i get to go this time. =(

last night at the breaker boX was insane. poliCe and scary fat kids everYwhere i hope it doesn't get shut down. =( i wish i could see Andrew ruight now but apperently he doesn't want to come over. i wish i could drive... then again he'd probally freak out if i tried to come over so i guess i'm better off staying home without him. good thing i have sweet musIc to l;isten to thanks ponto0n.=) i loved hanging out except it didn't go quite as well as expected.

i'm in school. shhh...

first of all lets start off by saying gas prices are stupidly high and pay rates are stupidly low.i mean i don't dribve myself but if i want togo anywhere i have to spit out the money for that and i also have a cell phone bill and other stuff and all of this on a 44 dollar a week income because of blasted volleyball. it used to mean so much more than losing money now i hate it for that reason. oh well. i keep my sanity when i'maway from that place. now, i'd like to talk about the wierd dream i had last night. it was truthfully the wierdest dream i have ever experienced. i was at this wierd like pastry show and i was watching this stuff about cakes and then jeff shows up and i started like kissing him and in my heart like for real i really thought i was cheating on Andrew and i was scared but then i realized it wasn't real. so anyway in my dream i made out with jeff and then a cake caught on fire so i ran outside and laine and caleb were there so i told caleb that it was on fire and he waslike it's no big deal and i was like go put it out and he was like let mepinish this one first then he did and went in and put a blanket over that one (the burning cake) and then laine picked the blanket up and stepped on it. and it went out and i woke up. by the way caleb is laine's boyfriend and he's a firefighter so Andrew's on his way to see me i have a volleyball game tomorrow at 6:30 good lucks to us.

oh sitdiary.my one and only friend. you amaze me. the way i abandon you but you're always there when i need you. i really like that in you. so let me tell you what's been up lately. first off i made varsity volleyball, yeah i knew you'd enjoy that one. i think it's alot of fun and i've really improved since the beginning of the summer. at the first game the coach didn't let me play but don't worry i didn't cry. i had to wear my uniform and let me tell you i make that thing look good. i'll have to show you i picture one of these days. but yeah coach did let me play at our second game and i did really well. i amazed myself along with the rest of the team. speaking of team. i don't like the people i play with. yeah i know i should get along with them i mean we ARE a team but some people just aren't as good as they think. we have a game this thursday against our rivals, and hopefully we'll get our shit together and win. sorry if i sounded a little hostile we do have a really good team. how are me and Andrew you ask? well we're great. it's been a whole freaking year since we went on that first date i remember it like it was yesterday. a movie...applebee's...driving around and now look at us. we're so great together. i really love him.more that i ever knew before. thanks diary for helping me keep that together. geez i sure am sick. well not that kind of sick but i have a cold. yeah yeah i am a whiner. but my nose is runny and when i sneeze it's not good. but oh well. i'll be better. this weekend i'll be haging with a long lost best friend ponto0n. yeah yeah she's the one. don't worry diary. we're all good. i loves her muches. i can't wait to get down. haha. you know me i'm just a joker. oh but diary today this loser ass bitch hurt my feelings in drama. she was too scared to say this to my face so she MOUTHED it to the BACK OF MY HEAD. yeah that's right i wasn't even looking. oh yeah. i forgot to tell you what she said. she said 'Fuck You' it really hurt. i wish her all the saddness she's caused me and i hope she gets beat up in a dark alley and forced to commit fornication. i'm a bad person. someday i'll really come to terms with myself and grow into this really awesome person that i just can't be because of bitches like her being alive. oh well. sorry diary but i'm going to go. don't worry about me i'll be back soon.

pull the chord from the phone i am dining alone tonight i love this song...no i love this band. July 5th at el masquerade. i'm there. wo0t wo0t! i also ordered a Say Anything shirt and yo soy excited about it.

i went on trip or two on wednesday. first off i woke uo at 8 15to go to Lineville, Alabama with Neil Hinkle and my love to get Neil's car. it was fun i liked seeing that place. then we came back to LaGrange and left for COlumbus to buy cd's. Andrew was getting Avenged Sevenfold's new cd and i was getting Motion City Soundtrack's new one...but they didn't have it. i was sooper sad. =( Andrew did get Avenged Sevenfold's though. we listened to it on the way home. it's great. after the mall we went to Applebee's amdthen came back to LaGrange where i went to vollyball practice. it was fun. i'm really catching on. this one girl was helping me out a lot. i felt like an idiot and she started helping me and telling me what i was doing wrong. i wish i were going to camp now but it's too late. oh well. i'm really missing Andrew right now.

In 10 years people will ask you where were you when you heard the news? what news you ask? the news of Adam Lazarra SHAVING his head!!!

___________i love you so much___________ ________you're the only one for me________ ___________you are everything___________