Listening to: 4 Non Blondes - What's Up
I haven't been on here in a while (I know, recurring theme, right?) but I check in every now and then. I don't know why. Maybe it's nostolgia? Maybe it's because I like to occasionally check on the diarys of old friends to see how they're doing because I can't stop thinking/wondering about them - even after all the time that has passed because they were in my life at a crucial time. I donno, but it's a thing.
I read all my old entries and it's actually quite scary at how much I've changed. Like truly. I feel the same yet I'm not at the same time.
I don't get it, maybe I never will. But it's been ten years since the start of this diary and so much has happened in my life.
I'm a published author of three full length novels and over seven short stories. I know if you were to read some of my older entries you wouldn't have guessed writing would have been the path I took in life, but there it is. I'm actually taking a hiatus from writing to pursue another passion - entertainment and cooking. I love cooking and I love putting on a show for people. I want to somehow integrate both of those things into my future, while still occasionally writing because it's an amazing outlet and it's something I love to do, too.
I'm still in a relationship with a wonderful guy and that's not going to change. We've been together for almost six years and it's been up and down but never has it not been wonderful. I'm so thankful that he entered my life and helped strengthen me as a person. He got me at my worst time - when my anxiety was at its peak and he fought through it and made me work to be better. Now I deal with it better - but I'm not perfect. Nobody is, so it doesn't bother me that much.
I've made lots of new friends and I hope to keep them in my life. With every person who enters (and leaves) my life, I learn more about myself and about how to deal with people. And that's important.
As a sidenote, as I said before, I still think about the SC every now and then. I wonder how everyone's doing and if they've changed as much as I have. I wonder if we'll ever have our own version of a "highschool reunion" or something. That'd be interesting - assuming we all didn't kill each other. Heh.
I'm seriously going to try to update this frequently. More frequently. Maybe even daily. Writing is theraputic and maybe writing down my thoughts constantly will help me to get my anxiety under even more control. Who knows. <3