[100] Let's Do It
Listening to: Ginuwine - Pony
Feeling: dead

Okay so I'm supposed to do a huge update of updating right now and explain how my week went. I'm going to do an abridged version because I'm still suffering from con crud and I feel like every detail isn't relevant.



We all woke up extra early and showered/got ready. And we were on the road. Unfortunately it took us a bit of time to actually get there since I remembered I left something at home (which I could not find) and there were two traffic delays on route...so a trip that was supposed to take 4 hours took a bit over 6.

We got to the hotel at night and immediately were greated by Michael and Linus - I was very excited to see Michael because it's been a while (6 months) since I'd seen him and Linus...well, as by other entries our relationship has been rocky and this event is his proving ground to me to prove he's actually changed and was genuine.

Anyway we immediately bumped into someone we didn't want to see (Scotty's ex) and there was a bit of drama with him because we didn't want him around.

We went into Michael/Linus's room to just chill, drink, and mellow out.


We went with a bunch of friends to Chipotle to eat and then I took Linus to Dairy Queen for his first milkshake in America.


During the night Linus invited a girl into the room (a girl who has caused problems with him before) and he was all over her and they were drinking together so it obviously pissed myself and Michael (to a lesser extent) off as well because it was showing that Linus wasn't really serious/genuine about his convictions.



The first official day of the event. We all went out to a chinese restaurant and it was interesting because we argued with Linus about tipping (he thought it was stupid since his country doesn't do that) and the whole table basically shut him down. After we ate we went to starbucks and Linus basically told me he wasn't going to deal with the girl anymore because she's toxic and he feels like he can't be himself around her and he knows it's not what he wants/needs (because he's GAY though he didn't say that) and then he basically consented he was acting like an asshole.

So I let that go. Afterwards we hung out and did randon stuff.

Nothing else of note I can remember.




This day was interesting because we all chilled and basically got drunk again and watched the event live in our room. We had a huge party which unfortunately security came to tell us to quiet down -_-


I spent a majority of the time getting close to a new friend, Christopher, so that was nice. And also trying to hook him up with my best friend. That was interesting.

We had to deal with some BS from Scott's ex - he was listening at our DOOR and harassing one of our friends who was rooming with him all because we didn't want to talk to him. Like jesus christ. If he does anything else we're going to report him to the event staff. 


At the end of the night we watched my friend Eric's part in the con so that was pretty amazing.

Unfortunately, some more drama bs went down. Linus got drunk and was acting like an asshole. He made out with that girl who "he wanted nothing to do with" and then came in the room and bragged about it. Oh, and he also saw fit to force a kiss on me and my boyfriend. Da fuck.



I woke up feeling like crap so everyone else went to breakfast without me. I stayed in the hotel and ate lunch - a cobb salad. So good.

I took the girl Linus was into to the side and explained to her what Linus did plus all of the bs he had told me over the last couple of months in an effort to spare her of the trouble. She seemed to take what I said to heart except later on she got drunk and told me that she forgave him completely...lovely

I took it easy this day but I still drank a bit.

Later I watched my other friend, Andrew's part in the con which was also pretty amazing.



Was pretty quiet though I know that Linus was going to try and talk to me eventually about what I said to the girl, but I had to. He eventually pulled me to the side and I flat out told him I was done with him and I think it would be best if we part ways. And I left. I can't deal with him anymore.

The drama with Scott's ex got to an all time high when he tweeted out our room number and said awful things so I had to complain to the staff and they told us they'd deal with him + Scott went off on him so he backed off.

My other friend, Ashley arrived at the event so that helped to destress me. 

We all went to Mcdonalds at 4 AM and it was pretty awesome :D




So I was still feeling like crap but we woke up late and all decided to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Unfortunately for me, Linus was there and I couldn't do anything about that.

Later my friends and I were drinking and then Linus came into the room piss drunk. He asked to talk. I declined. Later on I was mixing drinks and needed to wash my hands - he jumped into the bathroom and pulled the door shut, locked it, and was crying on me - begging me to take him back and let him into my life. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I told him no - I couldn't. And he got physical, sort of, and grabbed at me and forced another kiss and it was very emotional but I pushed him away and left the bathroom. He was crying pretty bad so Michael took him away.

It was one of the most intense moments of my life and I still don't know where I found the strength to do what I did. But as I said: "Sometimes if you love someone you hold on forever, and sometimes if you love yourself you need to let them go to save yourself from drowning." And unfortunately that's what I had to do.

I'll always care about him but for now he needs to be let go.



 Pretty chill day.

 I spent most of this time chilling with friends, drinking, and trying to relax.




Last official day of the con so I spent it chilling (not drinking, surprisingly) and just enjoying time with friends. I tracked down the last couple of people I wanted to see and got them to sign my shirt. It was really awesome. We went out for chinese food and then a late wendys run. Pretty awesome.




Last day - I woke up and felt like death. I said goodbye to everyone and then made my way home. I'm sad but I know it won't be too long before I see everyone again. <3 

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Entry List
[140] Hello, It's Me
[139] Shadows Still Remain
[138] Let Our Hearts Bleed
[137] Just Wasn't Stable
[136] Break Down
[135] Real Me, Inside
[134] All Things Pass
[133] Only One
[132] Lose It All
[131] Need a Scalpel
[130] Got Me Weak
[129] Worse Seem Better
[128] Make It Right
[127] Forget Where You Been
[126] Close Your Eyes
[125] Sing You A Lullaby
[124] Just An Outcast
[123] Been My Home
[122] Do You Have a Pulse?
[121] Any Moment
[120] Room For Me
[119] So Much Pressure
[117] Stuck in my Heart
[116] Too Far Gone
[115] Bruised and Battle...
[114] Will Fade
[113] Starts to Snow
[112] Kiss the Other Side
[111] Blindsided
[110] In My Corner
[109] Corner of My Mind
[108] Every Part
[107] For More
[106] Might Sound Absurd
[105] Let Yourself
[104] True Hero
[103] I Don't Mind
[102] What I Never Did
[101] Won't Call Back
[100] Let's Do It
[99] Fleeting Moment
[98] Like A Devil
[97] Misery Loves Me
[96] Ain't Slowing Down
[95] Tinted Window
[94] In The River
[93] Remind Me
[92] Broken Records
[91] Gave To Me
[90] Just One Thing
[89] Always Crazy
[88] Body Talk
[87] Explain Your Mind
[86] Poured It Down
[85] Shut Us Down
[84] Am I Crazy?
[83] Bored With It
[82] Damn Your Kiss
[81] Up A Notch
[80] Easy to See
[79] Rest Here
[78] Nursing Wounds
[77] Incredible Things
[76] Ready to Go
[75] Inside a Dream
[74] Shares My Fate
[73] The Trigger
[72] Never Trust a Fool
[71] Creatures of Habit
[70] Had It All
[69] Pass Me By
[68] Face in the Crowd
[67] The Throne
[66] The Needless Beating
[65] After Midnight
[64] Going There
[63] Hold Your Hand
[62] Party
[61] Every Heartbeat
[60] Overflowed
[59] Make A Sound
[58] Shine a Light
[57] It Ain't Easy
[56] Wanting More
[55] Lock the Door
[54] Daylight Fades
[53] Scattered Around
[52] Crumbled Photographs
[51] Night or Day
[50] Path of Least Resistance
[49] Find A Light
[48] Never Leave
[47] Fading Away
[46] Decimated Dreams
[45] My Limits
[44] Always So Heated
[43] Closing In
[42] All This Noise
[41] Pouring Out
[40] Long Gone
[39] Caught Up In Circles
[38] Bury My Ghost
[37] Just Temporarily
[36] All Of Me
[35] Rain Starts Pouring
[34] Rule and Control
[33] Slice of Heaven
[32] Push It Down
[31] In Love With A Ghost
[30] Stare Politely
[29] Overload
[28] Carry On
[27] Savior of the Broken
[26] Room Inside
[25] Whisper To Me
[24] Rise and Fall
[23] Physically Crafted
[22] Sky and Rain
[21] Slipping Away
[20] Lost And Forgotten
[19] Break The Bullet
[18] Bets and Betters
[17] Hide and Seek
[16] Mystery To Me
[15] Inside This Moment
[14] Shifting Sands
[13] A Necessary Evil
[12] Keeping On Track
[11] Mind Games
[10] Simple And Clean
[9] My Jagged Little Pill
[8] Think Lovely Thoughts
[7] Low Tide
[6] Ghosts In My Mind
[5] Small, Nagging, Voices
[4] Chill Day Is Chill
[3] Can I Even Keep Up?
[2] New Year, New Issues
[1] Two Hearts, One Body
New Moon Rising
Poem (12) Bleed
(Standing In The Dark)
(Live To Tell)
(How Soon Is Now)
Song (23) Emotionless
Song (24) Karma Chameleon
Song (22) Jesus Take The Wheel
Redemption Song
Envy For The Solid Ground
Song (21) All That I've Got.
Song (20) What I've Done
Sweet Little Lies
How Long Is Forever?
Facts of life.
Poem To Kayla.
Wow.. Bigger Gap..
Song (19) Whisper
Song (18) Run Away
Song (17) Pushing Away From...
Song (16) Crawling
Song (15) Super Xero
Song (14) Part Of Me
Poem (13) To worn...
Saw Amy Lee's video.
Song (13) Haunted
Song (12) Whisper
Song (11) Bring Me To Life
Broken More..
Barely Alive
Not For Anyones Eyes
Waiting For The SC.
Song (10) Santeria
Did you ever feel
Kayla's Birthday
Song (9) Forgive Me
Still Alone...
Song (8) 24 hours
Since You Been Gone
The Fight.
Song (7) I'm a Creep..
Poem (11) Numb..
Another year Living..
Drown Away My Sorrows
New Found Anger
Avoiding The Truth
Cast Away.
Song (6) Behind These Hazel...
Half Blood Prince
She's Torn 3 Ways.
Worried For All The Wrong...
Lost In Thought.
Song (5) Papercut (1)
Song (4) Numb
Song (3) I Don't Want To Be...
Song (2) Everybody's Fool
Song (1) Going Under
Long Time.
Poem (10) Ended.
They hate me..
Remember The Titanic.
I Was wrong.
Give Me Novicane..
Poem (9) Wishing you were...
Getting Colder.
Freezing Cold...
No Pain No Gain.
I Don't Wanna Be Lonely No...
Eye Of The Tiger
I Wore A Lime Green Shirt O_O
Comming Home
She's Back!!!
Dreaming About You And Me
Good Day
Poem (8) Wisper To A Scream
Kayla Does'nt Belive Me.
Missed Half Of Marathon
O_O A Questionaire!
Heart Of Stone
Poem (7) Time Is Up
Wishing And Hoping...
Poem (6) Fire
Covered In Shadows
I Feel Pretty.. O_O!!
Poem (5) Tear
Speak No Evil
See No Evil
Hear No Evil
Cool, Calm, Collected.
Poem (4) You're The One.
Okay For Now..
My Shadow
Poem (3) Black Magic
Mad And Tormented
Poem (2) I Wish
Prelude To The Storm
Feeling Better
Dark And Cold
Shrouded In Shadows
Poem (1) Fool In Love
Waiting Hopelessly
257 post(s)