dearest rach
Feeling: tortured

dearest rach-

there are no words to describe how worried and sick i feel right now. everything that could go wrong is running through my head at the highest velocity possible. i cant help but think that if you're hurt then it's my fault. horrible things wont stop harassing my eyes; your father doing something again, you hurting yourself to the point of no return, someone else harming you. its becoming unbearable. i dont know what i would do if i lost you, my dearest dearest rachael. i love you so much; you have absolutely no idea how much i care for you. i feel like we're connected somehow. like we were meant to met and help each other. these minutes wont go by quick enough so that i can run home and get on msn to hopefully see you on there and be reassured that you, my darling rachael, my sister, my better half, are ok. i would be dead without you. i cannot stand the thought of losing you. i cant bear to even think of that because i fear that i will break down and cry until i cant cry anymore. i cant lose you, too. no, not you. you're too important to me. i've already lost someone important to me, but they aren't nearly as important to you. i'm praying to a false god that i've never believed in that nothing is wrong and that you're just in one of those moods where you say things that you dont mean. oh my god rachael, im dying right now not knowing whats going on with you. i swear that i would do anything to help you! i would sell drugs, i would steal, i would sell myself to drunk men on the streets, i would kill to help you and make sure that you were ok. if you need to get away from there, i will work anyway possible until i have enough money to fly you over here, just to make sure that you are safe and ok. i would die for you rachael. i love you so much. god, i hope that you are ok. . .please tell me that you are ok and that nothing has happened to you. please, just leave me at least one word telling me that you're ok. please, oh god, please let you be ok. . .

i love you more than any words can say

chelsea

11915 hit(s) (2 comments) | otep saves  
This is the ALF
Listening to: conflict

Please support the Animal Liberation Front

-------------

What does Direct Action Mean?

It means that you are no longer prepared to sit back and allow terrible,

cruel things to happen. The camerman in Ethiopia took direct action,

he filmed the worst disaster that has ever happened to human beings. He

realised it was too enormous a problem to handle himself - so he took the

films home in the hope other people would help. They did. Are you prepared

to sit back any longer? Direct action in animal rights means causing

economic damage to those who abuse and make profits from exploitation.

START!

It's possible to do things alone, slash tyres, glue up locks, butchers,

burger bars, the furriers, smash windows, bankrupt the lot. Throw paint over

shops and houses. Paint stripper works great on cars. Chewing gum sticks

well to fur coats. A seized engine just won't start, sand in the petrol tank

means that delivery's going nowhere. When the new death shop opens up make

sure you're the first person to be there. If the circus comes to town

remember what goes up must come down. Stop contributing to the abuse

yourself - don't eat meat, don't buy leather. Buy non-animal tested make up,

herbal soap and shampoo's better.

Try and form a group of people that you know that you can trust and plan

ambitious direct action, sometimes risky but a must. Only when you have

animal liberation will we obtain human freedom, when the last

vivisectionist's blade is snapped. It will be that one step nearer to peace.

Direct action in the animal movement is sussed and strong, and our final

goal is not far off.

Animal lovers, vandals, hooligans, cranks; recognise the labels? They say we

don't care about human beings. We say all sentient beings, animal or human

have the right to live, free from pain, torture and suffering. They say

because we are human and speak the same, we matter more. Is our pain and

suffering any greater or lesser than that of animals? Human v. animal rights

is as much a prejudice as black v. white or the nazis versus the jews an

affront to our freedom.

Vivisection is a violation of human beings, the same as it is for animals.

We have a chemical world built on a pile of drugs to thanks for their

experiments. Drugs are designed for profit, manufactured to suppress

symptoms. Human freedom, animal rights. It's one struggle, one fight.

When animal abuse is stopped then human abuse will soon stop also, an

attitude of mind. "An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind".

Start by protecting the weak, the defenceless, animals, the sick, the

disabled. Compassion and emotion are our most important safety values.

If we lose them, then 'we lose' the vitality of life itself.

Emotional? Hooligans? Cranks?....

415 hit(s) (11 comments) | otep saves  

If God is my father then I am an orphan.

331 hit(s) (11 comments) | otep saves  
Listening to: wishboneash

I wish gravity would just fuck off and let me float out into space where i have nothing to worry about

m fucking sick of this corrupt world that we live on. why not just get in a rocket and go to mars and live there with no problems/

im sorry this makes no sence. im too fucking high. Im back on the sniff. My cocaine addiction is way out of hand again. i never had control if it i dont supose but now i think of pretty much nothing else.

so brads gone away for 5 weeks and he started on the beak too before he went away an he took a 14 ball of coke with him to keep him awake and alert whilw hes there [hes there with work] thats a pissy amount compared with what im snorting now. I wish it wasnt like this/ an 8 bal over 2 days is just too much if i can even make it last tht long.

I cant even go and se my friends anymore unless its to pick up coke because im ashame of the way its made me. Red nose, red eyes, sweating constantly, Glazed eyes. Its fucked up./ I hate this,. Im out of control. This is out of comtrol.

[going to see wishbone ash on friday! vcant wait]

229 hit(s) (1 comments) | otep saves  

He hurt me last night. He turned me over and took all of my dignity away. The little that I had left. This is the first and last time that I have been sodomised by him or anyone. It won’t happen again. It won’t happen again because it can’t once I’m 10ft under the ground. Nothing can hurt me once the last nail goes in my coffin.

But maybe I shouldn’t be so selfish. My father needs to feed his hunger for little girls. He needs their flesh. He needs them dry and screaming in pain.

If I go…who will he rape?

Will there be another victim? Will the pain and suffering be turned on someone else? What will he do without young, starving creatures? Shivering and crying. Hurting. What will he do without me?

Is this the end?

335 hit(s) (13 comments) | otep saves  


Entry List
dearest rach
This is the ALF
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-
19 days
clean
Implanon
1 down
speed bombs
[320]
Come down.
shaved women
Ulitimate bell end experience
2nd lip piercing
hair
the space race
For jesus
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[310] pauls house
slut
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A level grades
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NEOPHYTE
New zealand
blinded by the lights
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[300]
static
shrouded
hammer time!
godspeed
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craig
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good times
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[290] type of lesbian i am :]
iona soon :)
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blank
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[you]
17th
wake up
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PUSSY AT LAST!
[280]
wrexham yay!
cry
blank
terrorist attacks
wierd dreams
getting clean
sleep
jackie degg
what got up his ass?
on children
[270] Tyrant
friendly gathering
"fingered" as Amanda calls it
rachael is my lover
"compelled to live your...
blah blah blah
foul mouthed little bastard
sequin silk swing jacket
never again.
open your mouths bitches..
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[260] Evil Moth by Bo
weight
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flush all the pain away
see the sun
Neo nazis
slayer bitches
No daddy dont
[250]
picture of my lovely weed
exam eeeekk!
god damn tweezers
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otep
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jonesin'
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ARGHHHHHH!!!
[240]
mixed emotions
crystal meth
for you
addiction and withdrawing
rape
blank
battery acid
shrooms and acid
[230] date....lol
smell the burning embers
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finally...
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blank
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alone
shit shit day
JASEPI! fighting
[220] CDS!
Jakki degg
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Im breathing. No im dead.
Im not sure...it isnt clear.
Natalie portman
+parasuicide+
Cocaine flame in my...
Again and again and again....
[210] RIP Miss Lilly pad...
americaaaaa
Uh-merica
Chelsea covered in salad!
party
The hour of death for a sinner
Dear diary - richys entry
fuck you
kings of chaos
[200] Truth and Distortion
Todays shopping list
Drugs
Fuck blood
blank
blank
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Miscarriage
WATER TANK BONG!
Ritalin
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[190]
Queen
happiness is flights away
victim
Otep
Once more. I die.
Dying to belive in what you...
plastic smile
spreading the infection
blank
[180]anti-abortion
abortion no 2
Sperm sucks
arse brush
Loreal hair colour, Because...
stay a while
blank
You.
-die-
muses
[170] folk of the faraway tree
milly
2 stone
cheap hallucination
blank
pain
drawings
WEEEEEEEEEE
salad fingers
[160] no please no OH GOD NO...
your face
broken
[you cannot flush your...
4st 2
Dont let daddy kiss me...
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leave me alone
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baby :)
[150] sanity is broken
no one is safe
fetus in a jar
inside im dying
my hair :)
GANJA YOU BASTARDS!!
Hedonism
unscrew my head
+frayer+
Trainspotting
[140] WE LOVE YOU BEAV!
songs to dl
blank
blank
love
funny essay
erotic!!!
dominate me
pissed off
eye want to....
[130] Depression
Rope burn
blank
new layout
'so cut my wrists and black...
LYRICS **points up**
DESTROY THE DESTROYERS
a poem i wrote
you.
my autopsy
[120]
place your face between my...
NO NO ITS NOT HAPPENING NO
chavs.
[[...Routine...]]
I AM I
Germ
[110] Father
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Just tell me your listening...
A title is not needed....
\\rid of everything//
CAPTAIN LEMONS is on the...
say hello and wave goodbye
back already
FUCK
[100] lonely
she is beautifull
i promised god i would reform
2 boxes
slit
384 paracetamol tabs
suicide
YAY!!
HELP!!
[90] nothing
..
biggg come down
again
CHRISTMAS
AHA THE JOYS OF DRUGS
blank
NESTON CORE!
letter for brad..
Brad
[80] winners win and losers...
stop.
map mange ou sans sel
on holiday
fuck off
email
failed
[70] last entrie
mother
sleepin pills
cheese
Attempt NO.fuck knows
helo
[60] this time inperfect
filthee
the tears are building ..
Eating!
letters for zoe
bye evry1
food
awake in the am
Next please...
ex girlfriend woo!
rehab
hmm..
ZOE
my anonymous friend
WHY
[40] shit
thanks
FUCKING DIE
s.o.a.d - Sugar
vodka is the root of all evil
FUCKING HATE COMPUTERS
advice anyone?
moannnnn
FUCK
exacto knife
crimson tide
rest in peace
pissed
Heaven
...
R.I.P
[20] fuckkkkk
Crumbling
wot a ball bag
Angry
I hate fighting but this was...
NEED sleep
anyone got a mint?
[10] Fuck you
Hurting myself
human punch bag
empty
wrist cutting
Take me home
Insomnia
Bye bye
tattoo
304 post(s)