Scottie Doesn't Know

Feeling: bubbly
scottie doesnt know that fionna and me do it in my van every sunday she tells him shes at church but she doesnt go still shes on her knees and Scottie doenst know so don't tell scottie fionna says shes out shopping but shes on her knee and im not stoppin scottie doesnt know i cant believe hes so trusting when im right behind you thrustin fionnas got in on the phone and shes trying not to moan its a three way call and he knows nothing scottie doesnt know parking lot why not its so cool when your on top scottie doesnt know i did it on his birthday and scottie doesnt know and scottie doesnt so dont tell scottie scotties got to know i have to tell him
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*-CoNcErTs-*

Listening to: NIN
Feeling: amazed
Taste of Chaos is going to be so much fun! im counting down the days... 11 DAYS!!!!!!!! then 12 DAYS until Atreyu and that is going to kicks ass too i can not wait im looking so forward to it. i really wanted to go to NIN but the tickets are already sold out. FUCK! that concert would have kicked ASS. i really wish i could have gone. it would be fucking awesome to see them live. but yeah oh well at least i get to go to 2 kick ass concerts. much love *_ka+|3_*
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all that i-ve got...

Listening to: The Used
Feeling: abandoned
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me Off guard, red handed Now I'm far from lonely Asleep I still see you lying next to me So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I.. I need something else Would someone please just give me Hit me, knock me out And let me go back to sleep I can laugh All I want inside I still am empty So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I... I'll be just fine Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got I'll be just fine Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got I guess, I remember every glance you shot me Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat I squoze so hard I stopped your heart from beating So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I.. I'll be just fine Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got I'll be just fine Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got And it's all that I've got Yeah, it's all that I've got It's all that I've got It's all that I've got It's all that I've got! So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me I'll be just fine Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got I'll be just fine Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got And it's all that I've got Yeah, it's all that I've got
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.a song for optimists.

Listening to: Atreyu
Feeling: broken-hearted
blow the last candle out... let the wax harden i wish i could stop crying... i wish someone still loved me just breathe and focus... how can i when the air is so cold and empty that my lungs froze right in my chest i'll be honest the silver linings are getting harder and harder to manufacture and smiles are so difficult to fake what do i have to do or who do i have to kill to get what i want... what i need happiness is an emotion i was born to this world without... nothing pleases me... i cannot be satiated thru this toil i will breed my own distress and destroy my best hopes... fuck up the only things i love... I WATCHED MY DREAMS DIE... i watched my aspirations crash to the ground on the algels that i've slain... but i meant to well... i tried too hard... i gave every once of my soul to what end... desolation... desire... exhale... pass away...
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- this bad -

Listening to: Guster - Rainy Days
Feeling: devastated
show me you hate me so i know how to feel. if i can't handle all this torture please forgive me. the pain is too much to take. if i die tonight tell me you won't forget me and you will always love me. i just can't say goodbye to some one as beautiful as you or let you go... well as long as im ALIVE. tell me why you would do this to me. if you could hurt me this bad then you must not have loved me that bad.
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-aDrEnAliNe-

Listening to: Gavin Rossdale
Feeling: addicted
You don't feel the pain Too much is not enough Nobody said this stuff makes any sense We're hooked again Point of no return See how the buildings burn Light up the night Such pretty sight Adrenaline keeps me in the game Adrenaline you don't even feel the pain Wilder than your wildest dreams When you're going to extremes It takes adrenaline Sail through an empty night It's only you and I who understand There is no plan Get closer to the thrill Only time will kill What's in your eyes Is so alive Adrenaline keeps me in the game Adrenaline you don't even feel the pain Wilder than your wildest dreams When you're going to extremes It takes adrenaline Run through the speed of sound Every thing slows you down And all color that surrounds you Are bleeding to the walls All the things you really need Just wait to find the speed Then you will achieve Escape velocity Too much is not enough Nobody gave it up Im not the kind To lay down and die Adrenaline keeps me in the game Adrenaline you don't even feel the pain Wilder than your wildest dreams When you're going to extremes It takes adrenaline Adrenaline Screaming out your name Adrenaline you don't even feel the pain Wilder than your wildest dreams When you're going to extremes It takes adrenaline You don't even feel the pain You don't even feel the pain I'm going to extremes There is nothing in between You don't even feel the pain You don't even feel the pain You don't even feel the pain You don't even feel the pain
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- - - LeMoN - - -

Listening to: Katy Rose
Feeling: ashamed
They've clipped my wings again, tore them apart and then, left me. No use to fly away, to my yesterday, of freedom. My eyes died back that day, seeing the hurt I may have done. Beat me instead of them, pain is my only zen, of fun. I'll go where secrets are sold, where roses unfold, I'll sleep as time goes by. So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song, blood on my hands to stay strong. The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong, there is no right to heal the wrong, soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die, I can't throw up I don't think I even want to try. You still can't make me cry, you've pinned this butterfly, down. My fire's burning out, kill my flame without, a frown. And starving hurts the soul, when you're hungry for, some love. So if I close my eyes, I can really fly, above. I'll go where secrets are sold, where roses unfold, I'll sleep as time goes by. So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song, blood on my hands to stay strong. The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong, there is no right to heal the wrong, soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die, I can't throw up I don't think I even want to tryyy
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-LiVe A LiE-

Listening to: Default - Live A Lie
Feeling: listless
I can't seem to find out what I feel Burned out dreams of others which I can steal Take or leave this way I seem to you, it eats right through you Ripped up parts of things I should do, I'll run around and tell you screaming I live a lie why even try I've been leaving thoughts below Still I feel I should know Still don't see much of me giving in Much too strong to live outside these sins Feeling like I'm taken lightly, think you see right through me Words of those that still despise me, think it's eating me you're dreaming I live a lie why even try I've been leaving thoughts below Still I feel I should know When I seem to believe all that I've done wrong You can take all that's right I will still move on Taken all I can give it seems that I don't belong Push me further from this go on I live a lie why even try I've been leaving thoughts below Still I feel I should know
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Bring*ME*Back*2*You

Listening to: Enya - Deliver Me
Feeling: touchy
-kiss away my pain- -lick away my torture- -feel my beauty- -this is all i have- -what did you do?- -ignored my pain- -provoked my torture- -felt my lust- -how could you?- -was it easy?- -did you feel nothing?- -this is what i want for you- -to feel torn- -released from happiness- -faded to black- -this is what you wanted for me- -to feel loved- -released from anger- -faded to white- -this is what we got- -suffication from reality- -scars waiting to bleed away the wrath- -hatred from the both of us- -all i need is for you to drag- -this nail down both my wrists- -and me to do the same to you- -this will be so beautiful....-
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Deliver Me

Listening to: Enya
Feeling: vain
Deliver me, out of my sadness Deliver me, in all of the madness Deliver me, courage to guide me Deliver me, straight from inside me All of my life, ive been in hiding wishing there was someone just like you now that your here, now that i've found you i know that youre the one to pull me through Deliver me, loving and caring deliver me, giving and sharing Deliver me, across that i'm bearing All of my life i was in hiding wishing there was someone just like you Now that your here, now that i've found you I know that youre the one to pull me through Deliver me Deliver me All of my life i was in hiding wishing there was someone just like you now that your here, now that i'ver found you i know that youre the one to pull me through Deliver me Oh deliver me Wont you deliver me
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- - - - - - - -

Listening to: Static Lulluby
Feeling: alone
You're walking away, And I'm standing here smiling, But under my skin, I'm crumbling down and dying. I probably deserve this pain, I probably brought it on myself. I should have treated you better. But it's so hard to tell. Slit my wrists and die a whore Love to love what you adore I can give you anything, but please let me Be your everything... please you break my heart into 1000 pieces and you say it's because i deserve better? Goodbye Is Forever. You know me better than I know myself. And I trust you more than I trust anyone else. But promises broken are promises made. At least from what I’ve seen it all fades. This halo of innocence, Somehow slipped too low, And now it's choking me, But i've got nowhere left to go.. Some of the cruelest lies, Are told in silence. Please don't take it further, If you plan on letting go... Remember with every kiss.. You place upon her lips.. That i may be miles away.. Knowing where you are.. Knowing you're there with her.. And falling even more in love with you.. All over again.. And what? You expected me to be still standing there? You expected me to be just lying there on the ground? You expected me to hold on still? You expected me to be so deep in love? But now you sit on the cold concrete alone. And now you miss me so. And now you realize, All you did, You regret. You never believed in me You're spending all your nights growing old in your bed And im tearin up ur photos cause i wanna forget... its over. I can't say i blame you, But i wish i could. I'll be happy until tomorrow. If you touch me again, I will tear you apart. I wonder what it feels like to be pretty. Your words hurt me, feeling like a sharp knife, Slicing my heart into countless pieces. I don't want to get hurt again. Its so comforting to know i'll never have to believe again. I look into the mirror the WHORE is all i see. It's good to know that if I ever need attention all I have to do is die. My better half was praying for you to fall. Tell me , How It feels To Be So Pretty. You're just another face in a room full of whores. Pull the trigger and the nightmare stops. Be silent now, The sting of the razor soon will fade. Fuck all your false beauty, It was transparent just like your smile. Taste my fear. She Is The Saddest Girl That I Have Ever Known. Don't you think I know what I'm doing, Don't tell me that it's doing me wrong, You're the one who's really a loser, This is where I feel I belong. I'd kill myself for you and you wouldn't even notice. Why can't i be what you need? Im so tired of pretending everything is okay, My tears are starting to show, And my smile is fading away. Eat the words people say and you will die (cause it kills you inside) I can still feel your thoughts ripping me apart, And my hate for you has spread to my heart like poison, One more nail in the coffin, and its all for you. Your words are repeating and misleading, They left me on your floor bleeding. Slit my wrists take away the pain, Slit my throat everyone's to blame. Papercut my heart in half.. And discard the evidence.. When it's yours come send me the last half. The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you. Clearly my pretty face isn't everything... Love is another word for regret. [I still run to the phone hoping it's you ... But it never is
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hmm hmm hmm...

so this whole weekend was so fucked up. i dont even know where to begin i don't even fucking know. but yeah anyway it was pretty cool though i guess off and on it was at least i don't relaly know how to explain it... but it was weird yeah anyway. i g2g Chris and i are bored so were going to go and call Sophie bye bye
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Everything is new**

Listening to: Korn - Blind
Feeling: frantic
yeah so anyway life has been interesting latly. but yeah anyway so Chris Piccola is living with me it is cool too because i am never bored and Sophie is always at my house! he is like the older brother i never had lol! Cheerleading is very stressing latly but yeah i guess i will get over this weekend are the first games we cheer at and i have to learn all the cheers this weekend and dances holy shit that is going to be so much work! I got the part of Beauty is out school play "Beauty and the Beast" so im happy. but yeah im going to go so bye bye
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GoInG 2 Be FuN!!!!!

Feeling: anxious
yeah so this weekend is going to be some fun! hopefully! but yeah so on Friday Miranda is coming over and i can not WAIT!!!! and then on Saturday hopefully this new girl Dezzie and Fawna, Fuleen, Jesse, and this really hot new kid named Mikey! we are going to have fun! we are getting some liqour so yeah this has so be good! lol. but yeah! i was reading Lauren's diary and she reminded me of last year when her Miranda and i got drunk all homecoming weekend and how much fun we had. omg that was so much fun! we had such a good time! good memories. so yeah! school is going pretty good so far but it just kinda seems like the same thing that happend last year how everything was all fun and games and everyone was getting along and everyone was friends and then like by valentines day everyone hated eachother and all it was was fucking fighting and bullshit. i just hope that does not happen again this year. so yeah! anyway that is all i gotz to say so yeah! PeAcE
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Who*s ThERE

Listening to: Nobody\'s Home
Feeling: abandoned
so i love how so many people are always all like yeah well i will be here for you no matter what and then when you need them who's there? not them... i just think that is really fucked up and you no what with everything that i have been going through latly the only one that has actually been there and made me feel important and didn't critisize me was Andre and Fawna... what does that say... and if you are going to tell me you were my best friend you should be there for me no matter what and you weren't... oh yeah and i get it Miranda... i don't care fi you get mad at me because you told me all this shit and how you worried about me but you weren't there for me so you obviously weren't worried... whatever that is so fucked up only here to fucking tell me everything i do wrong... bye
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AnOtHeR sUrVeY

Listening to: Michael talking
Feeling: tenacious
Have you ever hit someone forcefully?:ummm... maybe! Have you ever thrown anything at a moving car?:Yeah... with Brock. It was fun... Have you ever been in a fist fight?:Yeah... Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?:oh yeah... all the time with Sophie!!! Have you ever hit an animal on the road?:NO... NEVER!!! Have you ever seen a Beatles film?:No... Have you ever cussed?:Yeah... who hasn't? Have you ever been on a subway?:Yeah kinda... at the Airport. Have you ever taught a little kid to cuss?:umm... i hope not... Have you ever cheated on a test/exam?:Yeah... in Geography... Have you ever skipped school?:hmmm... yeah all the time!!! Have you ever egged someones house?:yeah... funny story... Have you ever gotten a computer virus?:yeah it totally sucked... Have you ever cried for no reason at all?:Yeah... all the time... :(... Have you ever missed someone?:yeah... ;)... just a certain someone... Have You Ever? brought to you by BZOINK!
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[47]

Listening to: IcE
Feeling: wounded
i find it kinda funny how some people can hate you with out you doing anything but then they will still be totally in love or be best friends with some one who treats them like shit... and could care less about them but that seems to be okay... but no if they don't know you or you have never even done anything to them even close to that bad they still think you are the worst person that ever fucking existed... maybe some people should think about that... i just realized that...
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+[.HOT. | .DAMN.]+

Listening to: Everytime I Die
Feeling: apprehensive
+[.HOT.|.DAMN.]+ To My Mistress The Bridge, I Don't Feel Well I'll Be Leaving and You Cant Stop Me We've Been Carrying On Too Long Im Sorry, But Im Gone I've Got A Bad Reputation to Think About I've Been Dirty .. I've Been Wrong Maybe Someday They'll Find That I've Washed Up I'm Stepping Out To Clear My Head I'm Breathing In To Feel My Lungs .. .. WE'RE ALL DEAD .. |[EVERY.TIME.I.DIE]|
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