www.sitdiary.net/blackblood14 - (Last 5 Entries) http://sitdiary.net/blackblood14/ A feed of blackblood14s diary entries on sitDiary. Mon, 22 Jan 2018 14:14:01 CST http://www.sitdiary.net/ Dear Gary Fan 336 http://sitdiary.net/blackblood14/?cmd=view_entry&eid=27894 Sun, 19 Nov 2017 11:11:27 CST Oh dear Lord. How much has changed. My love and I have been together for over two years now. We've moved in together and actually made our first adult buy yesterday. Hes the sweetest man in the world. He still has his struggles but he goes above and beyond when he knows I'm not at my best. I really don't know where Id be with out this man in my life. I doubt I would have pursued my doctoral degree with out him.. He has so much faith in me, sometimes i just feel like i don't deserve that man's love.. Anywho - life is amazing, it has its ups and downs but there less daunting when I have him by my side.&nbsp; Dear Gary Fan 335 http://sitdiary.net/blackblood14/?cmd=view_entry&eid=27894 Tue, 14 Jun 2016 20:20:44 CDT I've dated my beloved for almost 9 months now, and I truly believe he's the man of my dreams and beyond. With his flaws and all, he's perfect to me. He's gone through such rough times and all I want to do is take those times away. And when I make him smile, for a split second I accomplish my goal. He's my love, my everything. I just hope he knows I want him to be my future too.&nbsp; Dear Gary Fan 334 http://sitdiary.net/blackblood14/?cmd=view_entry&eid=27894 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:12:23 CST Today wraps up my first semester as a grad student. Ultimately I have learned and have gone through a lot this semester/year. There has been a whirlwind of hurt but some outstanding times that saved me. Honestly, my parents divorce hurt me and crippled me like no other. I always looked at others and wondered how they could drop out of school due to family and life things, I have learned that although I pride myself on not judging others, that I truly judged. I have never faltered in my future goals until this semester. I wanted to run away and never look back again because my world was falling apart.&nbsp;<br>But a few factors saved me, the love and support from my family, friends, and loved ones. I started the year with a wonderful friend group that although sometimes led me astray truly loved me and supported me. Sadly, distance and being in different places in life that friend group fell away. But God was there to save me and gave me a hobby to look forward to, pool. With that hobby, I met my beautiful and amazing significant other. He has changed my views on love, marriage, and future. I think about him, and I find such peace. I think that peace comes from something deeper than myself, more like the Holy Spirit, and although the relationship is very young it outshines so much in my life. It sounds crazy, but I would leave all my goals behind to start a future with this man. But the best thing of all, is that he wouldn't let me. He wants me to achieve everything I have set out for myself in life and more. He wants to me to achieve my goals and what once I defined as my happiness. Its funny to me, because I've already found my happiness. Its the life I've been given, the family I have, him, and most of all God.&nbsp;<br>We'll see how all of this goes, but at this point I can honestly say that I am content with the life I lead and what my future brings.&nbsp; Dear Gary Fan 333 http://sitdiary.net/blackblood14/?cmd=view_entry&eid=27894 Wed, 4 Nov 2015 14:14:24 CST Things have been unreal over the past couple of months. My world has been shattered and re-done and shattered and redone again, everything on repeat. Today a part of it finalizes. My parents are divorced. I understand that I am a 22-year old adult and these things happen. I have accepted it in every way possible. But I cannot tell my inner child to be quiet, and to stop yelling in my head "Daddy, don't go. Come back, please". This is what is killing me, the fact that I want to keep my family together just for the sake of being together. They were my foundation... as a family. Now they have to be my foundation apart. I don't know how to deal with that. I don't want to deal with that... I just want to cry in bed and not get out. Again, not the adult thing to do... but its what I would like to do. I feel like it would be a lot better than zombie-ing my way through my life at the moment. But on the other hand I have found love, and faith again. So that will get me through my tough times, right? I actually just hope... since I'm really close to an edge I never wanted to see again.&nbsp; Dear Gary Fan 332 http://sitdiary.net/blackblood14/?cmd=view_entry&eid=27894 Sun, 1 Mar 2015 18:18:52 CST I think I royally messed up.&nbsp;<br>I'm not sure what to do at the moment. I&nbsp;