www.sitdiary.net/hellboy - (Last 5 Entries) http://sitdiary.net/hellboy/ A feed of hellboys diary entries on sitDiary. Sun, 20 Aug 2017 23:23:22 CDT http://www.sitdiary.net/ Frank's Good Bye http://sitdiary.net/hellboy/?cmd=view_entry&eid=2926 Fri, 18 Aug 2017 2:02:19 CDT We Deceided to play Frank one of his favorites on his funeral.<br>I knew that he loved it and i promised him long time ago to manage it.<br>Feast of friends, fare the well my friends.<br>Feast of friends, Jim Morrison<br>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br>Wow, I'm sick of doubt<br>Live in the light of certain<br>SouthCruel bindings<br>The servants have the power<br>Dog-men and their mean women<br>Pulling poor blankets over<br>Our sailorsI'm sick of dour faces<br>Staring at me from the TV<br>Towers, I want roses in<br>My garden bower; dig?<br>Royal babies, rubies<br>Must now replace aborted<br>Strangers in the mud<br>These mutants, blood-meal<br>For the plant that's plowedThey are waiting to take us into<br>The severed garden<br>Do you know how pale and wanton thrillful<br>Comes death on a strange hour<br>Unannounced, unplanned for<br>Like a scaring over-friendly guest you've<br>Brought to bed<br>Death makes angels of us all<br>And gives us wings<br>Where we had shoulders<br>Smooth as raven's<br>Claws<br> No more money, no more fancy dress<br>This other kingdom seems by far the best<br>Until it's other jaw reveals incest<br>And loose obedience to a vegetable law<br>I will not go<br>Prefer a Feast of Friends<br>To the Giant Family<br>&nbsp;<br><br><br>-----------------------------------------------------------------------<br><br>We miss you, all of us.<br><br>love you.<br>&nbsp;<br>&nbsp; Everythings done so far. http://sitdiary.net/hellboy/?cmd=view_entry&eid=2926 Thu, 17 Aug 2017 7:07:01 CDT Summer Holidays are over and now everything's a desaster. My wife and me organized a Holiday Camp for kids and teens in the last week of summer vacation. We got into a big fight and now it seems all broken -again-.<br>If it wasnt for the kids, id leave her, its eating my energy and happiness, to always argue and get blamed for everything.<br>This and that mixed up with old stories. It all makes me sick. But i cannot leave the boys. the little one is too young to be alone and the big one shall be on his own feet first.<br>Due to it's always my fault, whatever happened, i agreed to marriage counselling and aswell i'll do a therapy to clear my issues. On the one hand i think it will help me on the other hand i think it will not help my marriage.<br>Best thing would be: grab the kids and live with them alone and my wife goes into an ash ram or something.<br>im growing old lately. i feel old and i will never be as free as i wanted to be. But thats ok. Frank is dead http://sitdiary.net/hellboy/?cmd=view_entry&eid=2926 Mon, 24 Jul 2017 13:13:56 CDT I guess only Tara will remeber him as 'abnormal' here on sitd back in the days.<br>He was my friend - one of my best friends. He passed away on Saturday night at home at the age of 41.<br>Be well my friend.<br>&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br>&nbsp; Heritage http://sitdiary.net/hellboy/?cmd=view_entry&eid=2926 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 1:01:03 CDT After some talks with my 4 year old son about my dad, i figure finally that not everything i learned from him is good. My dad was an after-war child of the WW2 here in Germany. With a lot of siblings they didn't have much, neither food or toys for the kids. They were just there to work and left on their own.<br>Having to be grown up with 14 and go to an 45hour week then was something different then todays lives.<br>Thats the apologize that he was stealing, drinking, being a hothead and not really a dad who cared for my feelings. It was normal for him to go to the creek and show me how to catch fish with bare hands, even though it is forbidden here to just go and fish. He always owned a rifle even it's illegal in Germany without a permission.He never told me to be reasonable and calm, never how to respect women, never not to abuse alcohol and drugs.<br>He in fact told me, that when i find something, that i can take it. So i always did.<br>He was good in many ways, and it was good that he showed me that.<br>But even better is, that my son knows that all this is wrong:<br>-stealing<br>-not respecting<br>-lying (he's doing that, but he knows it's wrong and he's ashamed of it)<br>Well he's into hunting, he wants to become a hunter one day, but i guess there is no bad dream a kid can have. Also he is 4 and i think this will change soon.<br>I'm very grateful to my dad, because he raised me to a person which has to learn everything alone.Even raising kids i had to learn by myself, but i think im doing it right. I'm not a drunk daddy who doesn't care. Or better only cares about his stuff. I will raise my Kids not to be afraid to talk about their feelings to me. They don't have to be afraid to get a harsh critic when they just want to open their hearts.<br>I discover this now, shortly before i turn 40.<br>&nbsp;<br>My mum is left behind, she is still drunk, still gives me money to show me her love and she's still destroying herself. I cannot stop her, neither i will continue trying to. I will focus on my kids and wife.<br>I never thought it would be so important to decide to the family, not the heritage one, but the chosen one.<br>And i'm grateful for my son who shows my how to become a better person.<br>Thank you. Launch http://sitdiary.net/hellboy/?cmd=view_entry&eid=2926 Mon, 17 Jul 2017 6:06:50 CDT We did it. we launched a rocket on the weekend. Just with pressure, water and a lot of handycraft. He was smiling and i was happy. I also told him some stories about my dad, he is asking about his grandpa sometimes. Crazy how fast the time is running, he been gone now for 10 Years.<br>&nbsp;