Listening to: Josh Groban : My Confession
After coming home and using this compy and it's nice lovely keyboard, monitor and mouse it juss makes me appreciate the schools more.
I'm glad I actually get to use some useable form of technology in this day and age.
I think something is wrong. (Note: None of this is like true case, they're juss examples)
Is it wrong if your boyfriend wanted to go out with one of your best friends and you're okay with it?
Is it wrong to not care if your boyfriend flirts with a lot of people?
Is it wrong when you can basically forgive your boyfriend for -anything- no matter what it is? (Lying, cheating...etc.)
Is it wrong that you don't get jealous or angry?
Is it wrong to not care about stuff like that?
Is it wrong at the end of school you say to yourself, "Yes, I'm free! What can I do now! There's so much!"
Is it wrong to want time to do whatever you want by yourself and not think of your boyfriend?
Is it wrong that you don't like the title "boyfriend" for the guy you like?
Is it wrong when you don't ever...call them your boyfriend? And feel uneasy when others ask you about your 'boyfriend'?
Is it wrong to want to call your boyfriend your 'boy toy'? :D Is it wrong to not want to say their name at all?
I think it's wrong.
I feel uneasy. Something is bothering me.
So it's safe to say I do care about ...something... I'm juss not shure what it is.
Lately we seem distant.
He's blunt. He wants me to leave.
I juss want to jump out of the car and leave b/c he was in such a rush to get me in his car and to drop me off. This is how I feel every time he takes me home now.
"Oh I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual goodbyes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive"
If I didn't know better I think this is the same situation that happened to me with Bryce. The vagueness...the casual goodbyes...the chill...the expression. Two weeks of that. Then a phone call. Yes, over the phone. He was sick of me.
Please Derek, if you're sick of me tell me, I know how badly you don't want to hurt me, but please don't drag this out. Tell me the truth.
If you don't want to get rid of me then please, stop treating me like this. It hurts inside. I know a casual I-don't-really-care or Finally-she-leaves goodbyes when I see them. Don't use me for the hugs and kisses. Don't keep me around just for mere pleasure.
Put some heart into the way you're treating me at least. Don't shove me in the car and rush me home as fast as you can. Don't say the normal repeated lines over and over again. "You're beautiful." and "I'll always be there." Don't spend all your money and gas on me just to show me something.
Please, Derek, all I ask is that you not fake it. Don't pretend.
I know faking is easy and you could do it for a long time. But please, if you're sick of me, you promised you'd tell me. Somehow I don't think you are sick of me, I'm juss having doubts. So please juss treat me differently. Change....something... -Act- like you like me not juss say it maybe?
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours I pray
To be only yours I know now you're my only hope..."