071
Feeling: perfect

Still There

 

So I had a headache...and well my whole body ached and the stomach pills that the doc gave me weren't workin' too well....so I got really tired and went to bed early around 11...

I turned on my lamp and stuff b/c Derek said he'd come visit me in the middle of night or when he got off work. I didn't really change much nor take out my contacts, so tired I juss fell asleep there.

I woke up at like 1:10 because the lamp on was bugging me so I was gonna turn it off but I decided to wait until 1:30 and then I'd turn it off. I fell asleep and woke up to a tap tap on my window at 1:40. I was so tired and my contacts didn't work it took me like 10 minutes to get out there.

He was at the door attempting to turn the handle quietly. When I came out he said I wasn't dressed. Yeah, I'm not normally dressed at 2 in the morning, go figure. He told me to go get dressed, he wanted to take me to Wally World b/c I've never been at 2 in the morning. Apparently there's a big difference in Wally world in the light than in the dark? Yeah, I was still a lil' ill and tired, but what the heck. Went to Wally World and I looked at shoes....Derek actually went around and got the things that he needed. Things he was gettin' for camp. He got new shoes and some other things...I wasn't paying attention.

We played around in Wally World for awhile and then dwaddled around in the parking lot afterwards. We got in the car and headed back home. I told him I didn't wanna go home juss yet it was around 3 I suppose. So we went around Smithfield for awhile. I sat in the middle seat as we drove around. He took some back road and he juss kept driving and driving. I laid down on him a lil bit and fell asleep...I woke up and he was still driving and we were out on a back road somewhere. The only thing I remember seeing about where we were was seeing the sign "Mendon". I didn't know where we were the whole time besides that.

My eyes weren't really tired but I really was tired and my actions kinda showed it. The most random things came to my head and I hadda say it out loud. I told him it was my turn to drive every once inawhile. I'd steer while he did the pedals...hehe I did that for awhile. Then after awhile of noticing how tired I was he wouldn't let me steer anymore....so sweet..juss takin' care of me like that....

We were driving from like 3 til 4:30 er so. Talk about wasting gas on me. But he says it's one of his favorite things to do. I talked gibberish the rest of the way back. He accused me of being -very- tired. pff. We stopped on my street around 4:45 and I figgered I'd send him home at like 5....an hour and a 1/2 later we end spliting up and going to bed. Teehee...

The moon was so pritti tho....it lit up the mountains and gave silouetes an' all. I wish I had my camera on that road trip. Then we watched as the sky began to lighten up in the morning at 5. The clouds were always gorgeous and juss in the perfect spot. mmm mm beautiful sight.

I saw a house that looked perfect to live in, something I'd really enjoy. It was like white with the two white pillars and the porch that kinda wrapped around the front and even a lil' bit of the white picket fence there in front with lights marked on the lawn attracting attention to the house. I said "Thats the kind of house I want." It was so cute b/c he smiled and said almost like he was laughing b/c he was thinkin' the same thing, he said, "Alright" like he would definately get us a house b/c we'd be together when I went lookin' for a house.

So yeah, staying up for a couple of hours with Derek, sneaking back in, going to bed until like 12:30 in the afternoon. I woke up the same way I went to bed. Headache, aching body, and slightly stomach ache. I feel and look like crap now. I got up and called Betty once I found her number. She was out. Natalie wanted me to go to Mac Park and take pictures of her and Emi. I said okay. Derek called. I still felt like crap. He said he was coming over in his nonverbal way. So I was waiting for Derek and Natalie to come.

It was hiliarious. I fell asleep at the bottom of the stairs. Mutti sent Derek down after me giving him a warning that I was expecting Natalie and he was warned. He stepped on me a couple of times trying to get down the stairs. And still went lookin' fer me! I kinda groaned and moved a lil' bit and he eventually saw me. He said it was creepy that I was there the whole time. I laughed. You hafta admitt it's funny. Stepping on me and still calling my name when I'm not in my room. He's so cute.

Then Derek went to work. Natalie, Emi and I went and took pics at Mac Park. They were so cute, they dressed up alike black pants and white shirts. They did the cutest poses and I had fun takin' pictures and angles an' all. Photography completes me somehow. I was jealous tho. They looked really nice and I was in a grungy shirt and didn't have my hair done (kinda like the interview yesterday). I was those type of glamour shots of me like that. But who would take pics that I'd be ..okay with...Resa? Jared? possibly Derek? My only possibilites. One day when I'm pritti...I'll ask one 'em to do it fer me.

Then when I came home like 3 hours later b/c Emi wouldn't hold still long enuff for a pic...I went to the bank and got some money and went shopping. Emi had the cutest black pants on and I asked where she got 'em and she said "Wally world for 10 bucks" so I told her I was totally copying her. I went there and got the pants which I'm gonna wear on our camping trip sometime. eee. And then I got some black shoes for 4 dollars. They work for work! I juss need black socks. My black pants aren't 'professional' enuff for work tho but they were only 10 bucks and they are awesome and comfortable! Over all I spent like 15 bucks and shopped for only like an hour and a 1/2. I don't really like shopping, but I was by myself and it was quick and I was a bargain shopper.

I came home still feelin' all crummy so I sat and watched TV and have been ever since. It's my head that hurts mostly now. My body juss feels so tired. Like I have mono. haha...anyways...

The Law Reunion morrow.....more camping for the 3rd weekend in a row. Getting kind of boring...but this is my favorite reunion and Derek ish coming with me! It should be fun but I keep forgetting about it.

I'm watching The Notebook. It's so cute. He keeps reading her that story, the story about falling in love, everyday so she'll fall in love with him again everyday. Kind of like 50 First Dates.

"You don't look at Daddy the way I look at Noah!"

"I love him!" "You do not! You are only 17 years old, you don't know anything about love!"

"Thats my sweetheart is in there, I'm not leaving her. This is my home now."

I don't feel like watching TV anymore tho. I juss wanna go in my room...and sit...and do something on the floor...maybe read..something. Be by myself. Some alone time. Can't forget the camping trip again morrow. Getta be with Derek. Need to stop thinking so hard.

I don't remember the camping trip b/c I don't think it would be that fun...but then Derek's there so of course it'll be fun...we'll make it that way. But being with Derek for three days juss doesn't seem to complete me...satisfy me all the way. What more can I ask for? I think it's the fact...that after those three days...it's back to doing everything and nothing without him. We have like 2 more months of summer...

I'm scared. It's been 3 months now. 3 more months and his promise is complete. He said he'd be there for 6 months. It scares me. It's scary to know (have the lack of faith) that someone you love won't be there anymore after short while...but I guess it's even scarier when that person ends up being there with ya even longer then you expected. It seems all of this is short lived...the 3 days of camp...the 3 months of being with him....the happiness of it all.... I'm so scared right now.

Eeeww bad part in the movie...it's getting to the point where juss closing yer eyes ain't enuff! You have to plug yer ears too!

I'm going to my room.

497 hit(s) Love, me  
Comments
You and Derek should let me take photos of you. That would be so fun. We could pretend I was a professional. I could even borrow a tripod. and use my real camera.
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001 - Year 2005
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