Listening to: Dashboard Confessionals - Am I Missing?
Anger Welling Up Inside
Me and Kirri take turns 'blowing up' on people. mwhahaha...my turn...again!
I blew up last weekend...but b/c of this very amazingly slow week I hafta blow up again.
I DISLIKE KATIE! Yes, Katie as in "uber" and "stellar" lady at work. She judges everyone right off the bat and gives everyone those stupid "yer stupid" looks. She makes fun of a kid b/c he had a 'nut allergy' or basically didn't want to eat nuts... She gives funny looks to ppl she finds out if they vegiterians...She calls or thinks yer a retard if you mess up once or ask a stupid question. I can't take it anymore! Frankly, I'm glad she's leaving! I'm sowwy! I put up with her crap long enuff! Actually, it's prolly b/c I'm really pmsy right now, but still! I thought she was kinda of nice...I mean...she didn't even talk to me...how was I supposed to judge!?
I don't care anymore! Grr..
I woke up and got ready for the dentist. Mutti said I had to walk. Grrr. I went to the office and they said I wasn't scheduled to come in today. Grr.. I was angry with me Mutti and glad I didn't hafta get stabbed today. I went for a walk. Naturally I ended up Dereks house. I sat there and watched him sleep for about an hour. I walked back home and laid in bed.
I talked to Jared. I told him to come over and give me EFY pictures. I came upstairs and Mutti says I need to go to Logan with her to get the car. Grr. I didn't go to Logan...I stayed and waited for Jared. Dee Wood kept trying to get ahold of me. Grr. Jared came and talked -forever- about the most pointless things. I'm sowwy I couldn't take it, I became my usual self...bluntly rude after awhile. I took what I wanted from him and kicked him out. The Utah Power guy came over today...said he was knocking out our power for a bit. He had a sense of humor..he was nice. I don't know what he was doing to our house tho. Kinda creepy. Then Derek showed up and Jared and him talked. They became a lil' too friendly. *shudders* Creepy.
I kicked Jared out into his mini van and jumped on Derek. At one point in time I wanted to go on a date with Jared. I changed my mind quickly. I spent the next 10 minutes in Dereks arms or in his lap. I didn't want him to go to work. I didn't want to go to work. Grr. After a couple more 'pick ups' (him picking me up) I let him go. Grr. Then I had to get ready for work. It was 3:15 and I needed to be early to work. Mutti said we had to wait until Scotts show was over. Grr. Then Dee Wood shows up at 3:30 to show me how to take care of his lawn. Grr. I went over and was my usual self again...rudely blunt. I feel so mean. But ya know what?! I dont care anymore! I listened to him go on and on. I didn't care.
I jumped in the car afterwards. We went up to USU and I took the truck and I took like 10 minutes trying to find a parking spot and to park right. Grr. I hate parking. Then I made Mutti take me up the ramp to the back door. She pitched a fit, but so did I. Do I care? No. I was on time tho!
It was at work when I got this 'I dont care' attitude. I folded napkins for like an hour and a half. Grr. Then I helped set up. Katie still treats me as if I'm handicapped or juss a newbie. Grr. Then I had to tell her I was leaving around 6:30 b/c I didn't think it would take 4 hours to do dinner that night! She goes all Nazi on me and gives me those stupid looks after she said she was leaving at 7 herself. Grr. I juss left them with clean up. I helped set up and helped serve okay?! They always put too many ppl on those parties anyway. It's not that big of a deal. Grr. How do they expect you not to have -any- plans whatsoever after work?! The times and stuff are so unpredictable anyway! I hate it! I never really liked the whole catering job anyway. The people haven't made it too much better. I juss dont fit in anywhere. -_- I don't care anymore. I don't even know if I want to keep this job for the school year. It's not worth it prolly. Katie can have a fit. Katie can leave. Katie can get me fired. Katie can complain, think I'm retarded and give me stupid looks. I don't care. I don't have to work with her morrow. Gosh I'm so pmsy. Don't talk to me. GRRRR.
Then I drove home like mad b/c I thought my Vati would be stressed out to the max and yell at me for not getting the car to him in time. I thought Scott would scream his head off b/c he didn't want to be with me. I JUSS DON'T CARE ANYMORE. He can be stressed out. And Scott can be screaming. I don't care. But they were fine. Scott watched TV all night and I ate and did the same. Then I attempted to put Scott to bed. Grandpa came home and dealt with Scott. I took a shower. I had a dream that I dropped something in the kitchen in front of a chief and he like threw something at me or juss plain hit me. It was weird...scary. I don't like that work environment too much. They all too moody. Oh wait, that's me. Alot of ppl can get yelled at and juss move on. Some can laugh at their stupid mistakes and move on. I can't. -_- Grr.
I can't go swimming next week. I can't go swimming this week. I want to go swimming before school starts again.
My neighbor is leaving town for the next 2 weeks I believe. They have a trampoline! Wee! I think I'll go over there and sleep under the stars before school! Yay! I'll use their lovely yard and play with their dog! Wee! I love using the neighbors while they're out of town.
Now I'm here venting. And guess what things happen while I'm venting. That kid I said I didn't want to go on a date with anymore b/c he like talks forever about pointless things. It's his Bday morrow and he has nobody to party with him. He asked me out basically for his Bday. That's so sad! I told him I wanted to go ice skating. I don't know when I get off work and I don't know if I have money and I should pay b/c it's his bday! Awww! Why do I have to be so awful! Why does work have to be so unpredictable?! Why do I have to take car of the neighbors dog morrow too?! Grrr! Anger and stress mixed together! And I hafta work Saturday too! This is prolly like 5 pages long by now with pointless rantings and raves. I should shut up now.
Grr. I dont care. I hate you all. You can all die. -_- I didn't mean that. Gahhh!
I'm going to bed.