Listening to: Switchfoot - Stars
Running in Circles
Yay for adult time out.
Yay for pictures.
I've made a decision. Every time I find something negative I have to find something positive also. *writes down all her negative, stressful and depressing stuff, goes to write a positive list and gets writers block all the sudden* Dang...it happened again.
Got my compy back. Dallin emailed. He's alive. yay. He's in Huma er whadeva helping out. Mindy called yesterday about Darla again. The boy was feeling better today. As in no sore throat and he actually didn't look ill either. hehe
I wore strange things today. My black baggy pants, my wife beater and white jacket over it with my black shoes with huge pink/red laces. I remembered the shirt was collared. Ugh. I hate collar. I figgered since I hated it that the boy would like it.
I felt like taking pictures today. The stupid subject is "Old Things" I hate that assignment! I got a new book from Adult Roles, it's called "It happened to Nancy". About this girl that got raped and got HIV an' stuff. It's written in journal entry form and that doesn't totally grasp my attention for long. *shrugs* The only class I really ever have homework in is English 1010. I suck at it so far. But hey, ya live and learn.
It's hard to juss try not to care...
To forget about everything...
Forget about what people think....
It's my last year. Who cares?
"Daddy's little girl paints the world with her magic wand
Daddy's little child breathes new life to the morning time for me
Though we're apart, her thoughts follow me
When I come home, Molly smiles with the dawn
Molly smiles, and she radiates the glow around her halo
When she plays, Molly smiles
On a summer day, Molly smiles
A new day, Molly smiles"
Time. Where did you go?
I'm scared. Nates back. And things haven't changed. He still is all touchy feely, holding my wrists until he's holding my hand. It was uncomfortable and awkward. I mean it was fun juss playing around with him, but not to the point where he'd kinda pin me down and not really let me move. It was the first time when it absolutely felt...wrong. I have an opinion about how I feel now. I'm not going to take being treated like that anymore.
That's how I feel about friends. I have an opinion about friends now. I know when I'm being used and when people fake liking me. I know now that I don't have to hang out with someone I don't feel comfortable with or want to be with for long periods of time. If I don't like the way I feel around some people, I don't have to be around them. It took me awhile to realize that for some reason. I think I'm learning from Kirri. She was such a pushover and now she demands her alone time and stops saying 'yes' to everyone.
High school drama. Honestly, get over it.
Is the last year. Nobody (should) care now. Nobody'll care when it's all said and done.
I'm gonna be slightly pritti morrow.
I dont wanna be sick.
I wanna sleep tonight.
When I get stressed. I think about Scott. I caught myself thinking about scott again today. What's wrong?
Adult roles ish making me think -alot- and it hurts, but it's kind of good advice...if I'd juss take it.
I've found Wednesday is having trouble in Sympathy Wednesday World....I need to work on that. Mutti's right, I really do feel it, I juss can't express it, well normally.
I've made a goal in Cooleys class. To beat her typing time. I'm sure she's up an average of 95 and sometimes in the hundreds. By the end of the tri I think I can do that. She's very competitive. I'll race her. I got a 127 today. teehee...One day...I'll beat her, juss to make her angry.
I get a pay check next week I think. Wee.
I dont feel like writing in my journal anymore...for some reason.