133
Listening to: Praise to the Man
Feeling: compassionate

Always Remember

Every five minutes.

Stupid internet.

This is yet another novel. (1023?)

I can't get it to stay on for more than five minutes. I guess I'll hafta...wander over to the boys house whenever I need to do an assignment and ask all cute like if I can borrow their computer to do an assignment and end up chatting with friends forever because I don't want to walk home. I'm juss too cute they wouldnt be able to resist, esp his brother..and Vatti...and well his Mutti at that. teehee

I've got like 18 credits so far kinda.....I wonder how many credits each semester is up at the college. It's so nice not having to pay Jessi right away for her book because frankly I don't have the money right now...I juss remembered like a dozen other things I have to pay for and quite soon and Mutti is not helping me at all. She said she'll help at the beginning of the month...basically next week. And frankly, I need everything this week, in fact, by Wednesday (aka Tomorrow!).

Weee, so Mutti came in and woke me up at like 6:50 and asked if I was supposed to be up. I said probably. I was certainly in no rush getting ready tho. I juss got some jeans and t-shirt and put on a jacket and did my hair in a simply braid down my back. No work at all really in 20 minutes, but I did want some breakfast so I made the boy wait fer me. But not so much stress today. Juss kinda of a bummer at the stupid classes I have. I don't really enjoy Seminary tis a shame, I'll get there I juss need to wake up. And Nutrition well, thas a given both those classes are "here is what you are doing, but this is what you need to do! You're not perfect yet! Try harder!" blah blah... Who wants to hear everything they are doing wrong?

And then 1050....numbers and asking questions and a very long time to sit and warp yer brain trying to figure things out. 1050 is definately going to be my main focus this tri...I juss need to figger out how he runs things in his class. So far I've figgered out he says "if it looks like this, this is how you solve it" while other teachers explain HOW ,as in steps and WHY you do it that way. I'll find out more on him tomorrow.

But then my two fun classes. Sitting in Geddes class trying not to fall asleep but yet being intranced in his passionate love for the subject of Humanities. I had no idea what Humanities was when I signed up...still kinda don't but wanna go on his Field Trip to SLC and go to visit the Monks and go inside a pyramid and then go to an Opera...sounds fun. Another 15 bucks.

Then there's Perkes who's always there to make fun of you whenever you need it or a chance to laugh at someone else. We handed in our paper about a story that describes you. Mine doesn't really describe me at all and it's quite embarrassing the totally different way that I wrote it. I don't want him to read it out loud, nobody'll guess me and they'll pick lots of other people. Strange, I liked my paper at the time I wrote it, funny how quickly Perkes has the ability to make you feel like crap when it comes to your papers as he makes fun of them in front of the class. :D

We can all endure critizism tho I think.

Well, I guess I'll go read my boring Nutrition book...attempt to straighten up my papers and find my binder that I seemed to have misplaced but still blame on Natalie. Read lots of my religious doctrine in many forms as they lay spread across my floor. Aaaahh the peace it all brings.

______________________________________________

I gave a 'reading' for Young Womens In Excellence tonight. I read the last half of my story about Joseph Smith I wrote in his perspective for my Saturation Paper last year. It was quite...touching and I think the Spirit was there. I did my two voice poem to, and the only thing I said (that I remember) that was completely dorky was "I wrote this about Joseph Smith....and it's called...Joseph Smith..." *shrugs* They liked the poem I think juss b/c it was with two voices and I think always that a story written by someone you know is more interesting then one from a book. I got lots of compliments from people and I know some of them really were grateful I read it and were impressed. It's hard to impress Judy Merkley but I think I did it. Mutti didn't go b/c she was sick and she asked if I'd be mad...I didn't know why I would be mad its not like I was tap dancing in front of a huge audience or anything. But now after that, I think she really did miss out on some things and regret staying home. But still, I'm not mad....why would I be mad? Juss b/c she doesn't show up to most of the things 'parents are invited' to. :P Jk...

It was cute tho they had us write our testimonies down on paper and Merkleys husband typed them up on a paper with Joseph Smith and framed them. It was gorgeous. The only problem seemed to be that I didn't feel like mine was written by me simply because my name wasn't spelt right, but that's okay, it was a older man that was doing it and he doesn't know me. I forgive them I guess. I mean I had my name written down and I wonder if he juss thought he saw an 'h' on the end. *shrugs* I thought it was neat mine started out with "I have learned so much from this man" and it was directly on the paper with Joseph Smith there so you knew what man I was talking about right there! Awesome!

I love being able to get up and say things, juss randomly from your heart no time to really prepare. I bore my testimony after I read that and it kinda really set the mood and I was glad I was first. I wish I could have said more tho, as I sat down there on the front row with nobody sitting within a mile each direction from me, not even family (my usual spot) I thought of the many things I could get up and say right then and there to everyone...I wasn't done with my talk/testimony. I had so much more to say and its times like those that I know the Spirit has touched me and my testimony is strengthened...when you have the desire to do be better or encourage more. I know during those times you have all those thoughts you want to juss burst out and you know if you don't write or say them soon they'll leave you by the time you get home so you can't write them down then. I always know when it's going to be too late to remember such a feeling or thought.

I know one of the thoughts I had was all those girls that had bad attitudes about being there this night and/or are inactive and think they are better than the rest of us.. I juss wanted to grab them all and shake them by the shoulders and say "Don't you remember?!" Remember is like my favorite word right now. Don't you remember how you felt when you were at Girl's camp??! Don't you remember how you felt at the Day of Celebration?! Don't you remember the Spirit there! I know you felt it! I wish you could feel that way again and remember the Church and Spirit and keep it with you even tho you're not at camp anymore. Take it with you to school! Don't you remember?! I know people like Sarah felt the Spirit and had a -great- time at camp and expressed her feelings for the church, but yet she seems to wander away as if she was a busy busy senior. I know Natalie H. felt the Spirit more than I have ever seen her feel it before while at camp. She is strong, and I don't want to see her fall away. When they have bad attitudes, or have this "I'm busy" thing every night, or juss simply are forced to come back. I want them to remember if they were 'forced' to go to camp and if they were 'forced' to have fun and if they really do regret going.

I remember the Day of Celebration for the first time they gave us our lil' white flags that we put in the air and we put 'em in our pockets and did our cool running out on the field thing....The music started and for the first time on cue we all pulled our flags out and did our dance at the same time. The feeling we had when the whole stadium erupted with cheers because of how cool it looked when we all did it at the same time. The night we performed and the cheers we -still- got. I remember that feeling and I want to keep it with me forever! I'll never forget that. It was awesome!

I love these girls and it's my last year with them. I juss want to remember it all! All the feelings I felt and experiences I went thru with them. I want them to grow up and not be like those stupid teenagers that think they know everything and have to be like everyone else to be cool, even tho I still do it sometimes.

I just want them to remember. I want to remember..

....Always and forever.

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408 - Poem
407 - Bday 20
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001 - Year 2005
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